Hereafter
by newfoundlove
Summary: FKA August Thirteenth. EPOV. B&E's wedding night, what is their newlywed life like? What challenges will they face as they begin their forever together? Will Edward finally see Bella as his equal... what will it take?
1. Chapter 1

_Thank you to Stephanie Meyers for creating these wonderful characters and this fantastic world. I have truly enjoyed it._

HEREAFTER

The evening of Edward and Bella's wedding. Edward's POV

I sat there in our hotel suite, twisting the platinum band on my ring finger, completely awestruck at the events that had unfolded just hours before. If I had thought a year and a half ago that the human that nearly caused my demise would in-turn be my wife, I never would have believed it. But here we were. Though it is not that hard to believe, really. Everything about Bella and my relationship defies reason and goes against the natural way of the world. It seems though that we not only survived in the face of great odds, well with me being a blood-lusting vampire that craves her blood more than any other humans', and her being a beautiful, angelic young-woman who doesn't seem to know what is best for her and couldn't stay upright while standing still. Even in the face of all of that, here we are. My life…my wife…my Bella.

I heard her in the bathroom having a "human moment" as she so endearingly referred to it. I was glad for some time to reflect on my own thoughts. Knowing what path we are heading towards shortly from now, I felt the need to cherish the past.

When I saw her round the corner on Charlie's arm and head down the grand staircase of the white mansion set in the woods, if I had a heart…it would have stopped beating. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. The dress that Alice had procured for Bella was beyond words and the fact that it was a style from my earlier life, a life I no longer remembered, but clung on to as much as I could, made it all that more special. Alice had fussed over Bella for hours, which didn't make Bella entirely happy. But throughout the entire wedding planning process, she seemed to come around on the idea of holy matrimony. There was no doubt that we wanted to spend our eternity together, but the shaky marriage that Charlie and Renee had did nothing for Bella's opinion of the institution. It didn't seem right to go to the next step in our lives, one neither one of us had experience with, even me in my long one hundred plus years existence, without being husband and wife.

The moment she said she would love and cherish me for her eternity…I don't think I had ever heard more sweet words. August thirteenth would forever be the beginning of the rest of my life, now it was a life, not just an existance, with my Bella eternally by my side. How did I, the monster that I could be, deserve the angel that she is?

None-the-less, she chose me and so I honor that with all my whole being.

The evening flew by in a blink, vampire time frames or not. We swirled on the dance floor that was set up in the living room. Our skin only separated for her to dance with her father and me with Esme, the only mother I truly remember. I felt like my long-stilled heart would leap out of my chest in joy as I held her in my arms, and on my toes, for our first dance as man and wife, gazing at her and all of her beauty. All those present, mostly close family on either side were elated by our happiness. Renee was not entirely thrilled with the idea of her one daughter marrying so young, but I believe that she came to the realization that our love was different, strong than she and Charlie's. Our love was one to withstand the ages…as well as possessed, flame-haired, avenging vampires and immature werewolves.

Caught up in my own mind, I snapped back to hear the water from the bathroom turn off. If I had a pulse now is when it would have begun to race nervously. I was starting to have doubts about what we were about to do, husband and wife or not, I was still a vampire and her blood still sang to me like no other. Not that that, much to my constant disagreement, would matter much longer.

But I knew from our previous intimate moments, that if I just concentrated on my love for her, I could never hurt my Bella. Even still, looking past the blood-lusting issue, what if I got too wrapped up and somehow injured her? I believed I feared that more than anything. For the moment she was still an incredibly frail human, so easily broken by my stone hands. Regardless, we had made a deal and I said we would "try".

My nerves then gave me a jolt, so far I had been fairly good at the human acts of intimacy with Bella, kissing, embracing, tracing every line of her beautiful face while she slept. But this, this was something entirely different. We were going to be one, as husband and wife. What if my human instincts did not come back to life like so many times before? What if I were overcome by my vampiric needs?

Then, there, standing in the doorway to the bathroom was the most breathtaking woman I had ever seen. All thoughts of ineptitude washed away, for at the moment, I did not care if I fumbled, I just wanted to be with…my wife. If the site of Bella in her wedding gown had made my cold-heart palpitate, then the silk and lace ivory gown, with a slit up the side and delicate spaghetti straps that gently hung on her shoulders, was going to nearly kill me, again. Her hair still in loose curls cascading down her back. I couldn't move from the chair. I just stared at her in pure awe.

"Do you like it?" she asked nervously, "Alice picked it out. She said I couldn't wear my sweats to bed on our wedding night," with a shy smile.

I gasped, my breath ragged on the intake. I was speechless. I slowly looked her up and down, taking in every tantalizing curve, still amazed at her pure, innocent splendor. How could she not see how extraordinary she was?

All I could manage to choke out was, "you are absurdly beautiful."

She looked up at me through her dark lashes and a rosy blush covered all of her cheeks trickling down her neck. It reminded me of just how human she in fact was. As much as I wanted this, it was going to be tricky.

Before I had a chance to question our impending actions, there was the briefest flash in Bella's eyes, a sudden change in her stance as she squared her shoulders. She walked over to me with a strut I had never seen before. It was in no way awkward or clumsy, as she so often was. It was strong and sexy, womanly; this new Bella took me off guard.

She reached her hand out as a request for me to stand and whispered, "We're going to take this nice and slow," seeming to understand my apprehension. She wore a wicked little grin. As my eyes locked on hers, I reached out to take her warm, delicate hand. She pulled me up and motioned towards the king-sized, four-poster bed that was the center of the room. I followed her like a little impish puppy, still flabbergasted by this newfound confidence in my Bella.

Standing next to the bed, as she placed her hands on my cold chest I realized that I was still in my tuxedo. One button at the collar of my shirt undone, bow tie draped around my neck. Bella's eyes locked on mine and in that instant the desire and want that we both felt was so thick it could stand on it own. With trepidation she reached up to the buttons on my shirt and with agonizing slowness began to undo them. I thought I was going to die in anguish at the anticipation. I delicately placed my hands on her face. She took in a small gasp of air at my cold touch, an electric current passed between us. The lust in her deep brown eyes flared up like a fire. This was not the overly crazed Bella of so many times before, who lacked the self-control. No, this was a new Bella with control and determination. She pulled my shirt over my muscled shoulders, taking in every inch of me as if it were the first time she had truly seen my ivory, marble skin. Her breaths were deep and lusty as she gazed at me.

"Bella, I…" was all I could say, to try and express the magnitude of the moment. I wanted to give her one more chance to rethink this before it was too late.

"Shhh…" As she placed her delicate finger on my lips. The way she looked back at me, as if _she_ was the mind reader, I knew there was no going back, for either of us. We had waited too long for this union and even if it was a complete failure, we still had to try.

With more fervor than I had ever seen from Bella, she pushed on my chest to will me on to the bed. My stone skin felt on fire as I lay back on to the cold silken bedding. How would I ever get through this without losing my concentration? We weren't even undressed and I could barely think straight. The fire in the pit of the stomach was flaring up with an indescribable desire to have her, to _be _with her in even possible way. For once my thirst was not overpowering me.

Still without unlocking from my eyes, she undid the buckle on my pants and slid my trousers to the floor. She paused for a moment taking in my manhood that so yearned for her. I may not have been a human for a very long time, but the feeling burning in my loins was every bit man. I reached up to motion her to me. She gave me with a coy look I hadn't been expecting. Oh, this was definitely a new Bella and she was driving me crazy! She reached up and pulled her silken gown off of her shoulders and let it fall like a wisp to the floor. With my eyes, taking in every bit of her womanhood, gracing her curves, pausing for a long moment on her perfect breasts. It took every bit of strength I had to not attack her right there.

Bella placed her hands on my thighs, tracing the musculature with the tip of her fingers sending glorious chills through my body, as she crept up my torso. I reached up to cup her breasts, feeling her heart be rapidly under my cold palm. Her smooth, supple skin like ivory silk under my grasp. Slowly she placed her legs, on either side of me letting us come together as one. I moved my hands on her luscious hips to guide her. She winced and tried to hide the discomfort. A woman's first time with a mortal man can be uncomfortable, I am sure my stone flesh magnified that. But she didn't seem to let it break her determination, which as she started to move slowly turned into a look of pleasure. The yearning and fire I felt was like nothing I had ever experienced, even stronger than that first breath of her tantalizing blood so long ago. I flipped her over onto her back, holding my weight off of her, arm tight around her small waist, our skin connecting as I had dreamed of for so long. The warmth of her small body radiating onto mine. The venom was pooled in the back of my throat, but I hardly noticed. At that point…all my superiorly refined senses became a blur. I saw pure ecstasy and desire in her eyes that I am certain were reciprocated in mine.

We continued in that fashion for an immeasurable amount of time. The only place we held back were our kisses, having previously agreed it would be safer for her to refrain for fear of my venomous teeth. We were all twisted in the bedding, moving slowly, but always connecting as much flesh together as possible. Becoming one in every achievable way, our breaths in rhythm, exuding our desires, ending in wave after wave of pure ectasy. Spreading warmth throughout my whole body.

Afterwards I held her in my arms still in complete awe of what had just occurred. I never believed we would succeed in consummating our holy union while she was still human. I never believed that my desire for her blood would be superceded by my desire for her body.

I looked down at the beautiful angel in my cold arms and shuttered to think of what this all meant…that I was running out of time…to hear her heart beat, to see her cheeks flush…to breath in the bouquet I so longed for.

Bella's eyes slowly opened and looked up from my chest with an impish grin. She looked peaceful and happy, and I am sure quite proud of her transformation into this sex goddess.

She paused for a moment and then said in a whisper, "Ok…I'm ready." I knew exactly what she was referring to and I cringed slightly to myself.

"We don't have to do this. We could cherish tonight, together and wait…" I started to say but she cut me off

"Edward" she said with determination, a change in her eyes, "we have been through this so many times. The honeymoon is the perfect time to be out of the public eye and then we leave immediately for college. We have it all planned out. You can't back out on our deal"

She started to push away from me trying to sit up, the very thought of disconnecting out contact pained me. "I'm not backing out on you Bella," I said emphatically, pulling her back to me.

"I just don't see the need to rush in to it tonight and make our wedding night the night you lose your soul". She scowled at me not liking that last thought

"You don't believe that, I know you don't, not after what you said in Italy". She had a point, it was getting harder and harder to keep up my convictions on the whole soul-less vampire issue. Especially considering since I have been blessed with Bella's love, my soul felt more real than it ever did when I was human.

"I just…" I whispered

"What is it Edward, are you too thirsty?" she considerately replied but knowing that the warm, golden color of my eyes meant I had drank recently.

"No, no it's not that. I just.." trailing off, finding it hard to express to her how much her humanity meant to me, on so many levels. Part of me did fear that it would change things. To not hear her pulse race at my touch or her cheeks flush at the slightest embarrassing comment. I was realizing how much I would miss those very things that drew me to Bella. I knew deep down that this had to happen for us to spend an eternity together like we just pledged in front of all those important to us. And although we would lose some things, there was a level of equality that we would gain that was important to Bella, and if I was being honest with myself, I yearned for as well.

"What is it then?" she said

I took a deep breath knowing I had to tell her my thoughts. "I am worried about not being able to hear your heartbeat or see the lovely flush of your cheeks. I get great joy in taking care of you and keeping you from harming yourself as you seem to do so easily." She scowled back at me, not wanting to ever admit that she was the most accident-prone human to walk the face of the earth.

Bella became very still and pensive. Her eyes darted away from me and looked down. I couldn't stand not being able to see into her deep chestnut gaze. With my lack of ability to read Bella's mind like I do with everyone else, I heavily relied on the emotions that always poured out of her eyes.

In a whisper she said, "so, you think you won't love me the same?" obvious hurt in her words.

"No, No. How could you think that? I'm worried that you won't need _me_ as much." It seemed silly to feel that way, though I did, considering the level of our love. But tonight had given me a glimpse of a confident, womanly Bella that I had never seen before. What if it was just the tip of the iceberg and once she was comfortable in her new vampire skin she didn't need me around as much?

"How could you ever think that Edward?" She said stunned by my thoughts.

"How could you think that anything could change the way I love you? You are my soul. I cannot survive without you - as a human, vampire or any other sort of being." The fire in her eyes made me understand that she meant that with every once of her.

"I know. I just don't understand what the hurry is? You could take some more time to be human. We could do anything you want"

Bella's eyes flared up again with frustration. "How many times do we have to go through this Edward? I have decided the path for the rest of my life and it is by your side, as your _equal_, and I want that future to start as soon as possible. I know the beginning will be hard, but once we are past that, we have eternity together. And you won't have to worry any longer about how to keep me alive and whole. We can concrete on so many other things. We can travel and explore the world. We can do anything we want! We just can't do that now. I am too much of a liability to you and your family." She said with conviction. I knew she wasn't going to budge, the decision had been made months ago when Bella agreed to marry me, but I'm glad I gave it one last try.

I thought it all through one last time as we lay there entwined in each other arms, her still warm skin on my icy flesh. Carlisle has given me plenty of morphine to dull the pain. We had paid for the room for the entire week and had asked to not be disturbed by room service. I knew, as much as I begged, Bella was not going to give me any more time. I dreaded the thought of being the one that was going to cause her so much pain, but at the same time, I couldn't comprehend another one of us beside myself being responsible for this vile act. To steal her humanity, even if it was for love.

Bella's eyes were closed again and I could tell she was drifting into a deep sleep, her last ever. I enjoyed this time of the evening above all others, for this is when Bella's true thoughts came to light. Within minutes she began sighing and smiling. Then a small, "It's okay Edward…I'll be ok," slipped from her beautiful lips.

I lay very still gazing at her peaceful expression. Then without warning, she wrinkled her face up and seemed to wince in pain. The sudden tortured look that came across her features was excruciating to witness. What could she possibly be dreaming about that would seem to cause her such agony? She then cried out, "Stop the fire Edward! Please stop it!"

Bella had always put on a brave beautiful face whenever I reminded her how painful the transformation will be. She knew first hand the agonizing effects of our venom. Thankfully last time it had only radiated up her arm. How could she endure her entire body being engulfed in flames? I have few memories from that time in my existence, but those three days of terror have stayed with me through the century.

"Bella sweetheart, open your eyes" I gently shook her.

Bella's eyes opened and the look of despair and agony in them was hard to hide. She immediately looked away from me, casting her eyes to the foot of our bed, protecting me from her thoughts.

"Bella…you don't have to do this, you don't have to go through that pain," I murmured in her ear, pulling her closer to me, trying to protect her from what she wanted to become.

She looked up at me stunned, not realizing I had experienced her nightmare. The comprehension came over her face once she realized I was in on her ruse. "Yes I do Edward." She replied sternly.

"What is three days of agony, compared to a lifetime by your side? I can handle the pain. I know I can, as long as you are with me."

She continued, "Why can't you comprehend that this is no longer a choice? It is a necessary course. Especially given that fact that I want it to be a choice, not a remedy for the next time I am near-fatally injured." She said emphatically, willing me to understand her point of view.

"Of course there is a choice. You are not dying like the rest of us were. You have your hold life ahead of you!" I said trying to push away the multiple times that Bella's life had been in danger since we had met.

"But for how long? How long until I get fatally hurt or stricken with a terminal illness? Edward you never know what could come along and take me away from you.

"I am human and we die every minute of every day. You cannot always be there to save me. And I don't want you to live the rest of our time together worrying when we are apart what might happen to me and how you can protect me!" Her voice was slightly raised in frustration.

"Now, I held up my end of the deal and I couldn't be happier to be your wife. I don't even care how much gossip we caused" she smirked.

I weakly smiled back. I could see that there was no other acceptable path in her eyes. But why couldn't she understand that I found great meaning in being her protector? What would I do with my thoughts all day if I didn't concentrate on ways to keep her alive? Then my mind wandered back to the hours of ecstasy that we had just shared and a sly grin came over my face.

"What are you plotting now? Nothing you can say is going to change my mind." Bella said sternly.

"That's not what I was thinking about." I replied with her favorite crooked grin, looking down at her, the fire and lust instantly returning to my eyes.

"Then..." she paused; a look of comprehension and then desire flickered back at me.

"And you didn't even want to _try _while I was still human," she wickedly answered, lightly slapping me on the shoulder, locking her eyes with mine.

"Yes, but now that we have, and in my humble opinion, were successful," running my lips along her jaw line, "don't you think we should practice just a little more…just so we make sure it wasn't just a fluke," childishly grinned back at her, which she returned in agreement.

I gingerly reached my arm across her and pulled my stone body on to hers, being careful not to crush her. She eagerly responded by drawing her legs up to my sides, locking them behind me. The reconnection of our flesh sending waves of pleasure through me. I held her glorious face in my hands and kissed her gently, but with more passion than I thought possible, while still being careful with my venom-coated teeth near her delicate mouth. A feeling of desperation came over me. She responded in kind, both of us realizing this was the last time we would experience being together in this way, she a delicate human and I an unbreakable vampire, on unequal ground for the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

The light began to filter through the thick drapery of the hotel room windows. Bella slowly stir awake in my embrace, cracking one eye open and giving me a bashful smile.

"Good morning Mrs. Cullen" I said with a wide grin, happier that I could ever remember being in my bleak century of existence.

"Good morning hubby." She smiled back

"I ordered you some breakfast from room service"

"Oh yum, what did you get?"

"Let's see, pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, coffee, juice and…"

"Oh my god Edward, why did you get me so much?" She asked as if offended

"Well my dear, it is your last human meal, I thought you should get to try as many foods as you could, one last time," I replied casually, she looked back, obviously happy that I wasn't going to attempt to talk her out of it again.

She started to sit up and was awkwardly trying to cover herself with the sheet as she did.

"Bella love, I believe we are past the point of being modest after last night" I said softly to her, reaching up to run my finger along her spine, sending chills through her skin. I didn't want her to hide her glorious figure any longer. She looked back at me blushing a deep rose color. God how I loved that! To see her reaction to something I say without her saying a word. She sat there for a moment on the edge of the bed seeming to make up her mind on how she felt about so obviously exposing herself. For so long, out of necessity, we were guarded about our level of physical intimacy. But after last night, it felt like all walls were down.

Seeming to have decided, she slowly rose from the side of the bed and let the sheet slip off of her bosom and down to the floor. She sauntered across the room, I gaped at her perfect rear, she paused in the entrance to the bathroom to look back over her shoulder giving me a shy and devilish grin before she closed the door. How easily she can drive me crazy!

I heard Bella turn on the water to the shower. I had a momentarily thought to go in and join her, but decided it best to let her relish her "human moments" since they would soon be no longer as necessary. I took this time to get myself cleaned up and dressed as well.

I heard the hotel employee heading down the hall to our room, and then there was a light rap at the door. I reminded the young man that we would did not want to have maid service come during our stay. He responded with a slight smirk in understanding, I heard in his mind that he knew we were honeymooners and assumed that we would be partaking of more traditional post-wedding activities, as opposed to one of us suffering through the process of changing in to an immortal.

Bella came out of the bathroom wrapped in a large, fluffy hotel bathrobe that nearly came to the floor. She looked refreshed and happy. I was propped up in bed flicking through the television channels. She sat back and easily snuggled back into my arms, right where I wanted her for eternity. I just wasn't sure if I was ready for everything to change.

Seeming to know my thoughts, she murmured into my chest. "So what's the plan?"

I took in a deep ragged breath, even though technically I no longer needed the oxygen intake, it still helped to clear my thoughts. "Well, considering I have never done this, I spoke with Carlisle about the best way" I continued, "He said when he changed me, since it was his first time, he didn't know that there was a better way to do it, so he simply replicated the bites that he had received so many years ago in the streets of London. After the fact, Carlisle realized that several shallow bites did not put a sufficient amount of venom in my system and prolonged the changing process." I gave a slight shuttering recalling the agony I endured.

"But with Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, he said he took a much more direct approach and placed one large bite directly on their jugular in order to get the most amount of venom directly into their system. He said by doing that, the pain comes on quicker, but it is also over quicker." I continued, feeling that I should be as completely honest. "The one thing that Carlisle was not certain of is how your system will react considering you will have strong blood; you won't be hurt or sick at the time of the change, it could possibly take longer since your blood will fight more with the venom." I looked deep in to her chestnut eyes trying to radiate all my love for her, hoping she would finally understand the enormity of the process she so willing undertook.

"Edward, I never once thought that the change would be without pain, and I am certainly not looking forward to it, but with the morphine from Carlisle and you by my side, I'm sure I will get through it." Her stubbornness and determination never ceased to amaze me.

"So, as I asked before, what's your plan?" she said with a parental look to her eyes, letting me know that this was no longer up for discussion. I found it hard to not find her tenacity endearing.

I sighed, knowing I had lost this battle a long time ago and replied with a defeated face, "Well…once you finish your breakfast we'll get started."

"Good" she said back with a satisfied grin, turning to the TV, munching on her breakfast.

I realized throughout all of our discussions, I hadn't even begun to think about how hard this process was going to be for me. Bella's blood sang to me, I craved it in the very pit of my being, and although I had deprived myself of my natural needs for so long, there was a small part of me that thought I might not be able to stop once I had a taste of what my body desired the most. I had the pleasure, or rather the horror, of drinking her blood once before and still to this day don't know how I stopped myself from draining her completely. Knowing I could never kill my Bella, the other half of my cold heart, I pushed the thoughts far back in my mind.

Bella finished her breakfast and I placed the tray outside in the hall to be collected. I turned around after closing the door to see her lying lazily across the king-sized bed still wrapped in the plush robe. She looked like an angel with her warm brown hair strewed all around her head on the pillow. She was watching the TV, seeming to be completely relaxed given the circumstances. I took the moment to breathe in her heady sent and ready myself for the task at hand.

She looked up at my from the TV again seeming to understand my thoughts, "Edward," she said softly. Every time she spoke my name it sent shots of electricity through my dead body, "it will be okay. I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't truly believe that." Love flowed out of her as she gazed up at me.

"I know my love…I know," was all I could respond and gave her a light kiss on her sumptous, full lips, knowing it wouldn't change anything to continue expressing my disapproval.

"I'm ready whenever you are" she said with a whisper, eyes locked on mine.

She straightened herself out in the bed and propped the pillow up more behind her head. I climbed onto the bed and positioned myself parallel to her, taking her in my arms and drawing her to my chest. I held her there close for a few moments. I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this, how could I do this to my Bella? Then, as if time stopped, I saw an image in my mind of the two of us in the not-so-distant future. We were holding hands, I looked up into her eyes and they were a golden topaz surrounded by porcelain skin. She gazed back at me with a glorious smile and said, "Where do you think we should hunt this weekend hubby?" I smiled, relishing the thought of finally sharing that piece of me, even though it was exactly what made me such a monster. But we looked truly happy and at peace.

Snapping back to the moment, I knew right then that I could no longer prolong this. I felt a new sense of determination wash over me. I bent my head down to Bella's neck and as I passed her ear I whispered, "I love you". She quietly answered back "I know." Then I sank my razor sharp teeth into the side of her pale, delicate neck easily breaking through her frail skin, she let out a small whimper.

A gush of Bella's warm blood hit the back of my throat instantly causing pure, unrivaled, ecstasy. The feeling trumped the sexual climax of the evening before, an event I thought not possible. Holding her tense body firmly to mine, I felt the beat of her heart pushing her life essence into my parched body, which welcomed it like the Sahara welcomes its yearly rain. My body felt like it had been electrocuted with rapture. I sensed my mind leaving the moment, her body going limp in my stone arms as I was inching ever closer to ending her life. Then I heard her mummer my name, "Edward…," I snapped back to the present and was shocked at how much blood I had stolen from her so quickly. _Stop, stop or you will lose her forever! Remember the imagine in the woods! _I screamed in my head.

I once believed that she was better off dead than being cursed with my immortal, soul-less life. But now that we were at the precipice of her death, I would do anything to keep Bella with me. I forced myself; with every ounce of strength I had accumulated in me over my long existence, to separate my mouth from her neck. As I gasped for air feeling the last drop of her blood absorb into my system, I let out a loud growl of agony.

Bella lay limp in my arms, a small amount of blood at the point of entry on her neck, my body burning for more. What have I done? Have I drained her too much for her to survive? My mind was manic with the idea.

"Bella, Bella, my love!" I gently shook her to get a response.

She lay flaccid and still for a long moment. "What have I done?" I whimpered into her hair, breathing her scent in deeply, letting it fill me to my core.

"Edward," she murmured weakly her brow furrowed and eyes still closed, she was trying to reach up to my face

"Yes, love. I'm right here. How do you feel?" I waited with baited breath to hear her response, to see that she was okay. Maybe she didn't get enough of my venom.

"I…I…," was all she said. Then her eyes flung open in panic, "I'm on fire! Stop the fire Edward, put it out!" She screamed.

Just then I remembered the morphine that Carlisle had packed for us. He said it wouldn't stop the pain completely, but it would certainly take the edge off.

I gently rolled her out of my arms and started to get off of the bed to get the drugs. She immediately reached around and grabbed my arm with amazing strength; I could feel her heart racing under her grasp. The pure fear in her eyes as she looked up caused me utter agony.

"Don't leave me Edward, you have to make this stop," she whimpered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm not leaving you love, I need to get something out of my bag to make the pain better. I will only be a moment." All that kept racing through my mind was – what have I done to my sweet Bella?

I quickly returned back to her with the first dose of relief. She was now writhing in anguish on the bed, her back arched up, her legs twisting, arms grasping at the covers as if she were being tortured by an internal demon. I gave her the shot and within a minute she calmed down, her muscles still very tight but she seemed to slip into a slight comatose state as her eyes rolling back in her head. I took her hand and knelt on the side of the bed trying to will the process to happen faster for her. Hoping my love for her would give her strength. I began humming her lullaby to hopefully calm her and myself.

I knelt there for what seemed like an eternity, her hands pressed to my lips, feeling completely wretched for the vile thing I had done. She moaned every now and then, her eyes still closed, her head would violently flail back and forth and her grip would tighten, and then it seemed to pass and she would relax back into a catatonic state. I made sure to administer the doses of morphine at exactly every eight hours so that it kept up its effectiveness.

I saw through the slit in the curtains that we were through nightfall and were passing into a new day. I took in a deep breath to try and lessen my tension when I realized that something smelled different. I paused for a moment and took another breath and then I placed the smell or rather lack there of. Bella's scent no longer burned in my senses, it was fading. Her wonderful, glorious scent that brought me immense join and agony at the same time was vanishing away along with her humanity. I reached up and placed my hand on her chest, the temperature of her body a few degrees lower than it had been for eighteen years. I kept it there for several seconds before I felt the weak beating of her heart. I knew from what Carlisle told me that the worst was behind her, her body was succumbing to the venom, her cells were dying, and her heart would stop beating soon. Although I yearned for her to get through this, I also felt I could weeping at the idea of Bella's heart ceasing to continue. I hung my head down and closed my eyes, trying to remember that wonderful vision of us in the woods holding hands, happy.

Another twenty-four hour cycle had passed with her in the same state. At one point she started to claw at her skin, seeming to try to rip it off. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her side until it conceded. I had not moved from the side of the bed, other than to give her more pain medication.

At the end of the second day, she took in a sudden gasp of air, chest arched up…and she dropped back to the bed and stopped breathing. She was dead.

I tenatively reached up to gently stroke her now unnaturally cool cheek and brush the hair from her eyes, when she seemed to slightly come to life.

"Edward," she whispered weakly.

"Yes my love, I am right here," I urgently replied. "How do you feel?"

There was no answer for a long moment and then she murmured through barely parting lips, "I don't know." Bella's eyes gradually opened and she turned her head to look at me. I know I shouldn't have been in the least bit surprised, but I startled just the same when I saw the blood red irises of her eyes. I pulled myself up on the side of the bed, still grasping her hand. Looking down on her face, I could see that her skin was paler and she was starting to get dark bruise-like marks under her eyes. Her facial features had a more defined edge to them, more womanly. How was it possible that she was more beautiful?

"How's the pain my love?"

She forced a hard, dry, swallow and said, "It's ok…very weak and my throat feels funny… burned." She closed her eyes again.

I can't be certain because it was so long ago, but I don't recall how soon after my transformation I needed to take my first feeding. I had planned for us to stay in our suite in Seattle for the rest of the week to let her rest, but I may have to alter our plans if she was already feeling the hollowness, the overwhelming thirst associated with immortality. I wanted to keep her away from Forks as long as possible, but I knew and felt the safest in the woods surrounding our family home. I took a moment as Bella closed her eyes to call Carlisle and Alice to let them know that everything was going as well as could be expected.

"Hello," Carlisle said in to the cell phone before it even rang.

"Hi Dad." I tended to only call him that in times of stress. My voice sounded weary.

"How's she doing son?" Carlisle asked with concern.

"She's okay; she's just starting to come to now. It seemed to have happened a little quicker, I think we are only going on forty-eight hours. The morphine definitely helped. I don't know if I could have endured watching her agony if I couldn't have help her in that small way." I whispered in to the phone, feeling very small. My hands were over my eyes trying to block out Bella writhing in pain.

"She'll pull through this, the worst is over now. So you were okay, I mean you had the control?" He asked concerned.

I let out a sigh before responding, "I almost didn't. At one point I thought that it would be impossible to stop. But, then the thought of Bella dying and forever leaving me overtook the taste of her blood." I felt very ashamed to admit it, but knew that Carlisle would understand.

_"_I know how you feel son; I have been there before."He answered reassuringly. "Alice just came in and would like to speak with you." Carlisle handed Alice the phone.

"Hi Edward, how are you and Bella doing?" She said in her soft, sweet voice, obviously concerned for her brother and new sister.

"We're okay, the worst is past us." I paused and continued in a whisper, "Alice, I know I should have been prepared, but when she looked up at me through her blood red eyes, I thought it was going to nearly kill me with guilt. She doesn't seem like my Bella." If I could have cried at that point I would have.

"It's going to be alright Edward. I've been having visions for the last few days, and I know it's going to be okay. She is going to adjust amazing well, you just wait and see. I know that you wouldn't have chosen this path for her, but I am thrilled that she is by your side for eternity. You deserve more than any of us to be happy." The sincerity of Alice's words cut through me knowing how her life changed once she met her soul mate. I wanted to believe her, but it still felt so off.

"Let Carlisle know that we may be coming home a few days early. I think that Bella is going to need to hunt sooner rather than later, she's fairly weak." The mere thought of the words Bella and hunt in the same sentence almost made me laugh out loud, but then I was quickly returned to the severity of the situation. Bella is now one of us, the un-dead, and she will need to hunt to survive.

"Okay Edward, I'll let everyone know. See you two soon." I could hear the worry for me in Alice's voice as she hung up the phone. Alice had been Bella and my biggest supporter from day one.

I turned back to the bed and Bella was sitting up with her legs dangling over the edge, looking down at her hands. I could tell she was quietly examining her new, cold, pale skin. Not realizing I was observing her, she slowly reached up to touch her face, running her fingers along her skin. She then took her one hand and placed it on the pulse point of her other wrist. She sat there for a moment and then gave a little jump. I am sure realizing that there was no pulse to feel, for her heart was no longer beating.

Seeing the slight panic come over her face, I went over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. She looked up into my eyes with a look of disbelief.

"What is it my love?" I asked her gently, not entirely sure what kind of state she was in.

She wrinkled up her nose and furrowed her brow, trying to decide what she was going to say.

"I guess I thought I would feel a lot different. I mean I feel different, but not how I thought I would feel. I kind of don't _feel _anything." She said with a confused tone.

"How did you think you would feel?" I asked with genuine wonder

"I guess I thought I would feel cold and that I would be some kind of possessed newborn the second it was over." She said almost in embarrassment. I tried not to let out a little chuckle. I has assumed it was going to me a much more profound statement than that.

"Sweetheart, you only felt the cold, hard of my skin because it was in comparison with your warm, soft skin." I said trying to comfort her. She seemed to accept that for the moment. "As far as being a possessed newborn, well I think we just have to wait to see how hunting goes."

I brought her head to my stomach and she wrapped her arms around my hips, I breathed in the scent of her hair, which still smelled like her favorite strawberry shampoo. We stayed like that for several minutes. Bella was a vampire and there was no going back. I was trying very hard to not dwell on my guilt. What's done is done and now we have eternity to spend together.

Now, I just need to prepare myself for the next step.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella was in the bathroom with the door closed, no doubt examining her new body. I didn't think it was possible for her to be more beautiful, but my vampire venom had refined her features, made her womanlier, even more gorgeous.

I wanted to give her some privacy to allow her to adjust to this incalculable change. I just sat on the edge of the bed, head in my hands, feeling like I was going to be overcome by guilt and sadness. I don't know what I expected when she awoke, but she seems so dazed, maybe she is already regretting our decision. I wouldn't blame her.

After about twenty minutes, she opened the bathroom door; I raised my head, my eyes full of anxiety. She looked across the room at me with no expression on her pale, beautiful face.

I started to open my mouth to tell her how sorry I was for what I had done! That if she never forgave me I would understand. That even if by some small chance she still loved me, I didn't deserve it.

"Edward, what is it?" She said with confused concern, not understanding the look on my face.

"I'll understand if you hate me and never forgive me for what I have done." I couldn't even look at her as I said the words.

Unexpectedly, she let out a small chuckle, which made me look up in surprise to see a glorious grin on her face.

"Edward, how could I hate you?" clearly confused by my thoughts, "it's not even possible for me to not love you. You are my life and I would obviously rather _die_ than choose to not be with you for eternity." I smiled back weakly, slightly comforted by her continuing thoughts of eternity together.

She walked over to me, all signs of clumsiness noticeable gone, pushing me back on the bed, pulling herself on top of me, her legs straddling my hips. She put her now cool hands on either side of my face, elbows on the bed, and stared into my amber eyes. It felt entirely different from the familiar touch of my Bella's soft, warm skin, but I couldn't say it didn't feel wonderful.

"How do I smell?" She asked playfully, turning her head to expose her neck.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around her hard torso and pulled her close to me, burying my nostrils in her neck while running my hands up and down her back.

"Like heaven…" The smells of her newly, sweetened breathe consuming my senses; she was just as sweet and floral but without the burn. She leaned down further and her full lips found mine. Fire consumed me, just like the first time we kissed in the woods, only now I realized, I did not have to fight off my unquenchable thirsty for her blood. I grasped her face and ran my fingers through her hair in desperation, kissing her ever more passionately, the emotions of the last three days overtaking me. She responded in kind, tightening her grip on my shoulders, taking in ragged breaths. We spent the next hour coupled, exploring our lack of physical limitations, not realizing how guarded we were the night before, finally giving each other fully to one another.

Afterwards, we lay entwined in each other's stone, cold arms. Bella looked up at me with a slight look of discomfort in her red eyes.

"Edward, I would give anything to lay here like this for the rest of time, but I have such a funny feeling inside me. I feel…" I could tell she was searching for the words.

"Empty," I answered wearily for her, knowing all too well what she was experiencing.

"Yes, is that how you feel when you're thirsty?" She asked, trying to comprehend.

"Yes, my love. That is our thirst."

"Does it go away, I mean, once I drink…blood?" She winced at the thought.

I sighed. I knew I should give her an honest response. "It doesn't entirely go away from animal's blood, for that you would need to feed from a human."

"Oh," was all she said in response, seeming to finally understand our perpetual struggle a little better.

After a moment of silence I said, "So, I guess we better get you out in the woods then," trying to lighten the mood.

We both got up from the bed and started to pack up. Her wedding dress was still lying on the bathroom floor, the delicate negligee strewn across a chair. We gathered our belongings and took one last look at the hotel room, the room that had offered us so much joy and at the same time so much agony.

We began the drive back to Forks in silence. I was having a very difficult time figuring out what she was feeling. She held my hand that was not on the steering wheel, but just stared down at her other, pensive.

"Bella, please tell me what you are thinking. I can't bear to see you like this, so unhappy."

"Edward, I'm not unhappy, I'm…nervous." She said with a sheepish grin.

"What do you have to be nervous about, the worst is behind you?"

"Well, what if the rest of the family doesn't like me as much as when I was a clumsy human? What if I am not fast enough to catch anything but a squirrel?"

I let out a little chuckle, "Well, I'm sure that Emmett will miss the entertainment of you falling all over the place, but he'll get over it. As far as hunting, I'll be there right with you, you'll do fine, you'll see. If it makes you feel any better, Alice said she's has been having visions of you adjusting remarkably well." That last comment made her look up at me hopefully. I gave her a loving smile in return.

We arrived at the house just a couple hours later thanks to my driving at twice the legal speed limit. Before we could even get out of the car Alice danced out the front door and ran over to Bella's side. She gave her a peck on the cheek and a quick hug and said, "I'm so happy you could finally join us." A big grin spread across Bella's face. My heart warmed at the sight of the two of them, the most important ladies in my life.

The rest of the family was gathering on the front porch, obviously waiting for our arrival. Each giving us their own warm response, even Rosalie who in the past had been so cold to Bella.

Once Emmett had let her out of his bear hug, this time not nearly crushing her to death, he said, "So when are we going to take you out for a spin, see what you can do?" with a chuckle.

I looked at him in disapproval. Bella grimaced back, showing her lack of confident in her new abilities.

I chimed in before she could say anything, "Thanks bro, but I think we will go alone her first time." Emmett shrugged in disappointment. The whole family had known the change was coming for a long time, well with Alice's repeated visions, and they all seemed to have their own ideas of what to do first with the new Bella. Selfishly, I wanted to cherish this time with my wife before we had to deal with reality.

Bella and I retreated back to my, our, bedroom. I smiled at the thought of now truly being able to "share my bed" with her. As soon as I closed the door, I turned around and pulled her to my chest, holding her as tight at I could.

She let out a little whimper and said. "Edward I may not _need _to breathe anymore, but it still feels good." She smirked up at me. I was glad to see her dry sense of humor was coming back; I was starting to get a little worried.

"So, what do I need to do to prepare for this?" She asked trying to not seem concerned.

"Um, prepare, nothing really, it's not like we need to don our camouflage." I said lightly.

"So, we are just going to run into the woods and hope that we come across an animal to eat?" She said slightly confused.

I chuckled, "No my love, we pick up their scent and track them. That's where all of the fun is, in the hunt. You would be surprised how much your new instincts take over." My eyes lit up as I said it. I hoped I didn't scare her with my enthusiasm.

"Okay, but I really don't see how, even with your immortal venom in me, I am going to be able to track and catch a large wild animal. But, if you say so." She said with a shrug.

"Just wait, you'll see." I smiled down at her in my arms. I had no doubt Bella would be fine.

In the interest of not crossing paths with any random hikers, we waited until it was nearly dark to go out into the woods behind our house. As we stepped out in to the early nightfall, I watched Bella. Her eyes wide as she realized she could expontentially better now, even with the dim light of the moon, than as a human. She grinned back at me; a look of excitement came over her features. I could tell she was ready to try out her new, sharpened abilities.

Quickly I picked up the scent of deer very near us and I saw that she did as well. She gave me a wicked grin and before I knew it she shot into the woods. I stood there in shock, as it took me a moment for it to click, and then I took off after her, letting out a loud laugh. I knew what direction she ran in, but I couldn't see her, where could she have possibly gone? I ran over the knoll and there I found her, lying on the ground, teeth sunk in the jugular of a large doe. My eyes went wide with alarm, discomfort and at the same time excitement swelled in me, at the site of my beautiful Bella draining the life from the animal. She broke away and let out a sheepish grin, blood all around her mouth.

"Well, I guess that answers your question on whether you will be good at hunting." I answered back to her in a parental tone. We continued on through the woods, both of us taking a few animals. I was not entirely thirsty, but she had that unquenchable newborn hunger.

By one in the morning we returned back home. Everyone was still downstairs waiting in anticipation to hear how Bella's first hunt went.

Emmett was the first to pipe up, as we walked through the kitchen doors, smiling, hand in hand,

"Well?"

Bella gave him that same sheepish grin and then embarrassingly looked at her feet.

"She's a natural." I said like a proud teacher.

"See, what did I tell you guys?" Alice cried out in delight. Emmett looked at Jasper, and Jasper said in response, "Pay up bro," while holding out his hand.

A look of comprehension flew across my face. "Did you seriously bet on whether Bella would be able to hunt?" I asked astounded, shoving Emmett, sending him stumbling to the side.

"Come on Edward, she was such an unbelievable klutz as a human, I honestly didn't think that even our immortality could over come that." Emmett said in his defense.

"I wouldn't have believed it either," Jasper said shyly, "But I wasn't about to bet against Alice." Knowing full well that Alice's visions were rarely wrong.

The whole family chuckled and the mood lifted considerable. We all sat around the living room until the sun came up remembering all of the wonderful moments of the wedding just a few short days ago. I sat on the couch with my wife on my lap, holding her left hand, absentmindedly twisting her wedding band around her finger.

"Alice, I have to thank you again for all that you did for the wedding. I know that I made it difficult for you, being so stubborn, but it was truly beautiful. I couldn't have asked for anything better." Bella said with sincerity.

"You are very welcome, I was happy to do it," Alice replied with a grin. Alice's two favorite past time in one, planning parties and spending money. "I'm just so happy that you two made it official," no one missed the double meaning to her comment.

We stayed close to the house for the next two days, hunting fairly frequently for Bella. We worked on her controlling her new strengths; she only ruined a few doorknobs and household items in the process. Although, a little more than a week ago, I felt nothing but dread for her change, now that she seemed to be adjusting so well and genuinely happy, it made my stagnant heart sing.

We were inseparable now and the other couples in the house were getting a little tired of our newlywed status already. We would chase each other all over the house, Bella squealing in delight as I "hunted" her down. I always won, returning her in my arms to our bed and gently making love to her.

The nighttime was the toughest time for Bella. It would be long past nightfall and the most adorable, confused look would come over her face because she couldn't understand why she wasn't getting sleepy. I'll admit the no sleep thing was a tough one to get use to, that and the whole drinking blood to survive.

Our plan was to stay in Forks through the "Honeymoon" and then move up to Alaska. Neither one of us wanted to leave the family, but decided it was necessary for the time being. It would be much too difficult to stay in town, and not be able to get out of the house every once in a while for fear of someone noticing her changes.

We were both technically enrolled as full-time freshman, but weren't entirely sure that Bella would be ready to mingle with coeds this semester. I had hoped in the back of my mind that Bella wouldn't be like one of the crazed newborns I had met over the years, overcome by thirst, unable to control themselves.

For the most part she was better, but when we stepped foot out our back door into the woods, she became an entirely different beast. I was still having a hard time getting use to it. Thankfully though, with all of her feeding and the sad fact that I drained her of most of her blood at the time of change, her eyes were already transitioning from the awful blood red to a warm orange-yellow. Much less noticeable were a human to catch sight of them.

We were in our bedroom on Thursday night, getting our clothes packed, when my cell phone rang. We both looked at it with surprise, knowing that everyone was home, wondering who could be calling. I picked up the phone and looked at the number, my eyes tried to hide my concern. It was Charlie, we now could not longer avoid the rest of the world, it was finding us whether we liked it or not.

"Hello," I answered in a forced light tone.

"Edward, it's Charlie. I'm so sorry to interrupt your honeymoon, I wouldn't do it unless it were important." I replied, "I know, no worries, what can I do for you?"

Charlie paused, "Well I was actually calling to speak with my daughter, is she available?" He asked with anxiety in his voice.

"Why yes, she's sitting right next to me, one moment." Bella looked up at me in confusion, still not knowing who was on the other line. I mouthed to her, "It's your father." Her eyes grew wide. I handed the phone to her, watching her carefully.

"Hi Dad." She said as happily as she could, knowing full well that something must be wrong for Charlie to be calling like this, especially while we were supposed to be in Seattle on our honeymoon. I had wanted to pretend we were going someplace much more exotic than Seattle since it was our honeymoon, I mean really, who honeymoons in Seattle? But Bella wanted to try to keep the convoluted lies to Charlie to a minimum. Easier to keep track.

I could hear Charlie's voice through the phone, what he was telling his daughter.

_Bella, honey, I know you were planning on heading up to college right from Seattle, but I really need you to come home first_. Charlie said almost pleadingly.

"Dad, I can't, we just don't have time. We have freshman orientation on Monday. It's when we pick all of our classes for the semester. We can't miss it." I saw her try to not choke on the lie. We actually had another full week until school technically started. She wasn't even going to start school, but again we were trying to keep the plotting thin.

"I'm sure I will be able to come home and visit at Thanksgiving or Christmas." She attempted to hide the increasing panic in her voice. Up until now, the transition had gone fairly smooth, but Bella had been getting more and more nervous about phasing back into the real world. We had enjoyed our protective cocoon of the mansion in the woods, where we didn't have to think too hard about who we are.

I heard Charlie saying that he understood and then he took a long pause, _Bella, for Jacob, he's missing still and Billy is very worried about him. He said he kept going on about how couldn't take it, and if something happened to you, he was going to do something about it. There was obvious confusion in Charlie's words, but he knew that Billy was deathly worried about his son._

Bella's eyes grew wider and I could see the wave of guilt wash over her. She said she never regretted choosing me over Jacob, that it was not even a choice to her, she knew she couldn't live without me, but none the less, I held her in my arms the night she told Jacob of her choice. I held her, as she wept harder than I thought humanly possible, the whole time trying to reason with my own mind over what she was going through.

I knew I could never love anyone but Bella, but she _had_ fallen in love with Jacob. Did I think that made her love me less? I'm still not sure. I don't see how that would be possible. But as hard as I tried, it still sent a shot of pain through me whenever he upset her, wondering if she wished she had chosen differently.

Bella hung her head down, her face in her hands, "Dad, I…just can't do it. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep up the connection between Jacob and me. Edward and I are married now, and I really want to move on with my life. I am sorry that Billy is worried about him, but I don't see what good us coming back to Forks would do. Jacob doesn't even want to see me." She pleaded with Charlie to understand.

Charlie's thoughts were still jumbled, but he responded that for some reason, Billy and Sam think that if Jacob could see that you were okay then he could move on with his life.

Bella let out a sigh, knowing full well that Charlie was not aware of what Bella had been through, that she was okay, but not in the human sense of the word. She was a vampire now, and Jacob and his pack could not know that first hand or they were liable to start a war with our family over breaking the treaty.

After a long pause, Bella replied, "Dad, let me talk with Edward and call you back. I need to think all of this through." Charlie agreed to that and hung up the phone.

I gazed down at Bella, she looked weary and shaken. I knew she was battling in her mind what do to. I was trying my best not to overreact, but her silence was making that increasingly difficult.

"Bella, I know that you would like to help Jacob, but you just can't, he can't witness first hand that you've become a…" Not finishing the thought.

Taking in a jagged breath and continuing, "We have talked this through so many times; it has to be part of the transition to sever as many ties with your old life as possible. It is easy for us to hide in a town full of strangers, but not from people you knew before, when you were…" I couldn't say the words. It still brought me a little sadness to think back to Bella being human. We were incredibly happy, but to think of the flush of her cheeks, her clumsiness, the erratic beat of her heart whenever I touched her. All of those wonderful things about her were gone and I did still miss them, so fresh in my memory.

Bella didn't answer me. She didn't even look up at me. I knew she had pledged to turn her back on Jacob and her life in Forks to spend an eternity with me, but at the same time she was still struggling with the consequences of our actions.

"I know Edward, I know." Was all said under her breath and got up and walked out of the room.

The rest of the evening was quite; we finished packing our things for college. I knew that Bella was upset, but I didn't know how to make her feel better. I only knew that I wanted to hold her tight to me, to protect her even though she didn't need it as much as before. She was sitting on the couch staring at one of her favorite Jane Austin books when I came into the living room and sat down beside her. She didn't look at me. I could tell she wasn't even looking at the words on the pages.

"Bella love, I know this is difficult, and I wish there were some other way. Jacob will be fine, he has his brothers, and they'll bring him back." I truly believed my words, Jacob was strong. She was still looking down and didn't say anything for a along moment.

"Edward, I'm afraid that Jacob is going to do something really stupid. Like something as stupid as when you tried to off yourself in Italy. How can I not do anything when I know I am the cause?" She mumbled under her breath.

I fought to not over react at the obvious concern in her voice, but the demons of jealousy were starting to rage up inside me. I was partly at fault for her falling for Jacob in the first place. If I had never left her, if I had asked her to pick me long before it came to that, if only I had done something right? I couldn't let it happen again. Bella was my wife now and she was not going to jeopardize our future for a vile, young werewolf! She could sense the anger building up in me. She looked up and tried to put on a brave face but ended up giving me a sad smile.

How could I possibly get upset when an angel was looking back at me? I comforted her the only way I knew how. I took her porcelain face in my hands and kissed her deeply and passionately. She reached up and clutched her arms around my neck, clinging to me in desperation. Without unlocking our lips, I picked her up in one swift move, took her up the grand staircase and placed her on our bed. We made quiet, frantic love, never disconnecting from one another, but both our minds racing in different directions. She never called Charlie back.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning neither Jacob nor Charlie came up in conversation. I didn't push the issue and hoped that she came to her senses.

She was sitting on the bed. I was still folding clothes from the dresser. Out of the blue Bella looked up at me and said, "Let's go someplace new to hunt this weekend, see some sights. What do you think?" hope in her voice.

I thought for a moment. "It would be nice to get out of the house since we have another week until we leave. Did you have any place in particular in mind?" I asked, walking over to the bed, taking her hands in mine, kissing her palms.

"Umm, what about that place you told me about a while back, the one with the bears?"

"Goat Rocks? You really want to go there, it is pretty far out? We would have to bring a tent." I asked, a little surprised, she seemed to be rather fond of our king-sized bed. I was rather fond of what we had been doing in it, thinking with a smirk.

"Yes, I think it will be fun. Plus I would like to try my hand at something other than deer. Just to see." She replied offhandedly.

"Okay, do you want to see if anyone else would like to join us?" Not really wanting to share her, but acknowledging that we would be leaving our family shortly.

Before she could answer, there was a light knock at the door. "Can I come in?" Asked Alice as she slowly peeked her head in.

"Hi Alice," Bella said with a smile.

"Jasper and I would love to join you this weekend, we could really use some time away after all of the activities." Bella looked at me a little confused, still not entirely use to Alice's ability, I knew full well that the instant the Bella decided in her mind to invite them, Alice would see it.

A light bulb of realization clicked on in Bella's thoughts, "Oh, great.' She said with excitement. "No offense Alice, and I know you have been doing this for a very long time, but I really can't picture _you_ hunting".

"You just wait sister, I may not be like the boys here with their bears and mountain lions," she then gave me a quick wink, "but I can hold my own." She grinned and turning to walk out of the room to find Jasper and tell him of their plans.

"I'm hoping you can show me a thing or two!' Bella said enthusiastically out the door.

Although my wife had only been in her new form for a week and a half, she has adjusted amazingly well to our peculiar diet. I can't say that _I_ have become all that accustom to seeing her in the act; after all she is still my sweet, innocent Bella, vampire or not. But, I am relieved that the transition seems to be going fairly smoothly.

"I'm going to go get our gear together. Will you be ready to leave in an hour?" I asked, gazing down at her, gently stroking her lovely cheek.

She looked up at me, and before I knew it, she had pulled me on top of her on the bed. "Well, I do say Mrs. Cullen, how very unladylike of you!" I tried to act appalled.

"Well, I just thought if I was going to share you this weekend, we could take a few minutes to ourselves," she replied with a wicked glint in her eye and she drew her lips to mine.

We packed up our things and met Jasper and Alice at the jeep a little over an hour later.

"How's the weather look tonight Alice?" Jasper asked casually.

Alice closed her eyes for a moment and then replied, "It looks pretty clear, there may be a small storm north of us, but we should be fine."

Jasper and Alice sat in the front, Bella and I cuddled up in the back. The weather was getting cooler, more fall-like and the leaves were starting their annual procession to the ground. Although the wind didn't bother our already cold skin, I held Bella close to me and buried my nose in her hair, taking in every last drop of her glorious scent, secretly thankful I no longer had to hold back the urge to harm her.

"So, what other kinds of animals are up here other than bear?" Bella asked casually.

"There are of course deer, mountain lion, some mountain goats," Jasper said while making an offensive face, "and bob cats," the then winked at his wife. They were her favorites.

We parked the Jeep at the foot of a small trail and fastened our backpacks. If it had just been the guys, we wouldn't have bothered with the tents, but we wanted to keep our ladies' happy. Once we were out of sight of the main road, I grabbed Bella's hand and we took off, running through the trees, faster than the wind. I loved sharing this with her. Looking over at her and seeing her by my side, the wind whipping through her beautiful hair, a pristine smile on her face, excitement in her eyes. Once we were several miles into the woods, at the base of an outcrop of rocks, we sent up the tents.

Alice and Jasper took off, hand in hand.

I turned to Bella, "You ready?"

"Sure, where too?" she replied lightly.

"Well, let's just hike a little and see what kind of scent we pick up."

"Okay, sounds good to me."

We started to walk up a winding path through the rocks, when all of the sudden I was halted in my tracks.

_How could she marry him… if I go back and she's changed, it'll start everything. I don't know if I can handle that. I don't want to start the war… I just want to be with her… Maybe I just need to destroy myself. There is no point in going on anyways when she is with that filthy bloodsucker now!_

I didn't need to hear the last part of his volatile thoughts, I recognized his deep husky voice and knew exactly whose head I was in. Jacob Black. Bella was trying to pull me up the path, not realizing there was an intruder in my happy thoughts.

"Edward, what is it?" she asked concerned, seeing the look on my face.

I attempted to shake it off. She couldn't know he was near. He couldn't see her. We were so close to leaving Folks in peace, we couldn't start a war now.

"Oh, nothing my love." I smiled back at her, conceal my alarm. "Why don't we head back down the path to the south of the tents?"

I turned around and pulled her down the path. We walked a few more paces and I unexpectedly caught the glorious scent of my favorite prey. I dropped her hand as I felt the strong thirst build in my throat and burn like fire down my esophagus. All thoughts of the young werewolf instantly dissipated. I knew there was only one thing that could extinguish this fire, only one thing I could see.

The large cat was about one hundred and fifty yards ahead of me, standing on top of a small pile of rocks, oblivious to its impending death. Faster than any eye could see, I was mid-flight, landing firmly on top of the animal's shoulders. We pummeled to the ground and rolled down the hill, as I tore into his thick neck muscles with my razor sharp teeth. The large cat's powerful claws thrashed up around my face, trying to incapacitate me. But it was too late, my venom had taken hold. The animal's magnificent blood was flowing down my throat, filling every ounce of me with the warmth I so missed, quenching the burn. It was all over in a matter of seconds.

I stood up and looked down at the carcass. I felt a small wave of sadness for the life I had stolen, but I was whole again. I turned around and called to Bella. I hadn't seen her move. Then I saw her out of the corner of my eye, crouched over a large doe.

I walked up to her, her eyes blazing with animalistic instincts, pupils wide. A little shutter went through me. I wonder if she felt the same when she saw me at my most primal?

"Hello, deer." I said with a smirk.

She looked up at me with a grin, no sign of wasted blood on her lips. She was honing her skills quite quickly.

We walked back to the campsite it was near dark now; Alice and Jasper were already there.

"Hi guys," Alice said brightly, her eyes a warm amber again. A sudden stillness came over her face, I reached into her thoughts as she saw an image of me standing over a disheveled, stooped man in a cave, his copper skin dirty with mud, his ebony hair in knots. She looked up me in confusion.

She said in her mind. _Is Jacob here? Did you see him?_ _You can't go talk to him; he might try to hurt you! He will freak out if he sees Bella._

I gave her an imperceptible nod that only the two of us could understand. I wasn't certain what I was going to do, though the thought of trying to talk to Jacob did cross my mind. I wouldn't let him get near her.

Bella wasn't looking at me, she was quietly talking with Jasper. Alice pulled me aside.

I cut her off before the words escaped her thoughts, "I know Alice, I don't know what I am going to do, he is still very upset and volatile. I know I can't let him see Bella. She finally seems to be moving on," pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to work my thoughts out faster.

Jasper felt the tension building between us. "What's going on, why all of the whispers?" He said lightly while walking over and putting his hand on his wife's shoulder to calm the situation. We immediately felt our tension release.

"Alice just offered to take Bella hunting later to show her a few of her tricks of the trade." I winked at Alice. She gave me a slightly shocked look back, realizing what I was planning to do once Bella was occupied.

She recomposed her face, knowing she wasn't going to talk me out of this, knowing how protective I was of Bella. She turned to Bella and said brightly, "Yeah, Bella…what do you think? Just the ladies!"

"Well it's a little different from our usual ladies' night," Bella grinned at Alice, happy that this didn't involve her toes getting painted or her eyebrows waxed. Jasper just crawled inside their tent for a moment of peace as the girl's discussed their upcoming hunt.

I wasn't sure where exactly where he was, but once I headed back up the path I would pick up his wrenched scent again. God, why can't this all end? Bella and I are finally starting our life together. I am truly sorry for his pain, I can't imagine what kind of state I would be in if Bella had chosen him, though she would still be alive, flushed cheeks, heart beating strong; but regardless she was immortal now and I intended to cherish and protect her for eternity.

We sat around our camp area for a few hours making small talk. Alice was asking about our thoughts on heading to Alaska for "school" and how much she would miss us. I reassured her that is was only temporary until Bella could be more mainstreamed with the human population, hopefully no more than a year.

Jasper was quiet, I believe sensing my anxiety and keeping my fears at bay as I sat there coming up with my plan for approaching Jacob. Alice kept shooting me warning glances with each internal decision I made.

Bella was starting to look thirsty again. I could see her eyes darting out into the darkness, no doubt picturing her next victim. Alice, realizing this said, "Ok, we're going to head out. You guys hold down the fort."

As Bella got up, I grabbed her and pulled her onto my lap, holding her tight, nuzzling my lips up to her neck. "I love you," I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, we'll be back soon. Don't worry I'll be fine with Alice," she said, misunderstanding my clinginess.

Thankfully the girl's took off in the opposite of the direction of the path leading back up to the rock outcrop. Jasper looked at me, "What is going on, why are you so tense?"

I let out a huge sigh, "While Bella and I were hunting earlier today, I heard a familiar voice." Looking down at my hands, Jasper looked at me in anticipation, knowing there was more to the story. "It was Jacob Black."

His eyes widened. "What do you mean, Jacob's here, out in the woods? What about the rest of his pack?"

"I don't think they are anywhere near here, or at least I haven't heard them. He ran away right before the wedding and still hasn't gone home. We are far from their turf and they don't know where he is and unless he transforms, they can't hear his thoughts." I continued, "Charlie called us the other night and asked Bella to come home before leaving for Alaska to try and help find him. His father is very worried and after hearing his thoughts, I don't blame him, the kid's a mess.

"We can't let him see that Bella is one of us now, he already said that would cause them to start a war with us. I don't want Bella to know he is nearby, so I am going to go try and talk with, see if I can talk some sense into him."

"You know how volatile that kids can be, do you really think that you will accomplish anything?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know, but I feel like I have to try. He has been a real pain, but I do feel for the guy, losing the love of his life, especially to his mortal enemy. I don't know how I would coupe with that." I replied sympathetically.

"I am coming with you." He said firmly, looking like he was ready for the fight.

"No, Jasper. I need to talk with him man to man. If he sees there are two of us, he is bound to get defensive or try and attack. The last thing I want to do is have to kill him." Jasper seemed to agree with that, knowing full well I could take care of myself.

I sat there for another moment and then decided it was now or never. I started back up the path we were on earlier. Within a few minutes of walking, I picked up his scent. I could tell he was in human form; his scent was a little weaker.

_Why couldn't I have just imprinted on her, I know she is my soul mate? Then she wouldn't have had a choice, she would have to leave him and love me? She couldn't become one of them… _

I could hear the anguish in his thoughts. Images of him and Bella, hand in hand on the beach at La Push, flickered through his mind like a reel-to-reel movie.

I attempted to stay calm, even after he was thinking of kissing her in the woods that day, the day she kissed him back. I reached up and pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes tight, will the horrific vision out of my mind.

Jacob was so caught up in his thoughts of Bella he didn't see or hear me approach the mouth of the cave he was cowering in. I looked down at the sad figure; he was barely clothed, just a pair of torn sweatpants covered his enormous body, chest bare, hair all disheveled. He was curled up in a ball facing the back of the cave.

"Jacob" I said in as smooth a voice as I could muster.

His black eyes whipped around and stared at me with incomprehension. Then his body started to quiver, he clenched his teeth, calming his overwhelming anger. I got the feeling he didn't want to transform any more that I wanted him to, then his brother's would be able to hear his rampant thoughts and find him.

"What the hell are you doing here, you filthy leech?" He spat at me.

I took a deep breath in, "Jacob, I have been listening to you, I know you are in pain." I looked down, trying to not acknowledge that I was part of the cause, "Don't you think that your father and brothers will be able to help you through this?"

Jacob stared back at me, fury and hurt in his eyes from me inadvertently hearing his deepest thoughts and desires.

"If I could turn it off, I would, believe me. I would rather not know what is going on in there." I said rubbing my left hand over my eyes; try to stop the flicker of images invading my mind, his memories with Bella.

Jacob looked like he was going to calm down a little, and then his eyes went wide. He saw the wedding band on my finger, still glistening with its new status. A veil of anguish fell over his face, he covered his eyes and turned back to face the wall. I could see his shoulders shrugging as he wept. I didn't know what to say to him. I have been there. Remembering back to the months I spent coward in the attic of that disgusting building in Mexico. Oh how I wished for death when I thought that Bella no longer walked this earth. I stared at his massive, bare back, shaking with his tears.

"I'm sorry Jacob," as I turned and walked out of the cave, back down the path, not sure if I made things better or worse.

When I returned the night was fully upon us, the leaves rustled lightly with the breeze, the sky for once was clear enough to see the massive world above us, looking down. Jasper was lying on the cool earth, taking it all in. I decided to join him. Every time I looked out into the stars I felt so insignificant. For a moment I escaped the worries of my too long existence.

Without turning to me, Jasper calmly asked, "How did it go?"

"I'm not sure. He wasn't really in a state to talk. But he definitely doesn't know that Bella is changed. We need to keep it that way. He doesn't want to start a war with our kind, but I don't doubt he will."

We lay there for a few more minutes. I heard the soft voices of my love. Her footsteps light and springy along the fallen leaves and twigs. My sweet Bella, even though my heart no longer beats, if it could it would only for her, and hers for me. I regretted lying to her, but she couldn't know about the evening's events. We just had to make it through this week and then we could start over, start our new life as husband and wife.

She walked up to me quietly and lay down beside me. I pulled her close to me, she wiggled herself into the crook of my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest, I turned my lips to her hair and breathed her in deeply, not realizing the dull pain I had been feeling while she was gone. I was whole again.

"Welcome back." I murmured into her hair.

She tilted her head up and kissed me gently, not saying a word.


	5. Chapter 5

We hunted briefly the next morning. I guided her in a direction away from the caves, not wanting her to catch his scent, or he hers. We had planned to stay another day, but I couldn't bear to be so close to disaster. Alice surmising that, we're always so connected said, "Jasper, can we go home today, I really need to spend some time relaxing. I haven't gotten caught up after all of the wedding mayhem." She batted her round, golden eyes at him. Jasper would have been more than happy to live his life in the woods, away from the pressures of our strict diet, if Alice would be there by his side. But Alice preferred the fine things in life and camping definitely didn't fall into that category.

Jasper, catching on to Alice's motives, responded lovingly. "Sure honey, I can go back out tomorrow with Emmett and Carlisle."

"Okay then, lets get going." I said enthusiastically, ready to bolt.

"Why are we in such a hurry, it's so peaceful out here, even the birds are quiet," Bella said while staring up at the clouds quickly passing overhead. It was an unseasonably warm day, but with a feeling of change in the air, with just enough cloud cover to keep our skin from glittering like diamonds. But, if a random hiker were to come upon us, we still wouldn't look quite right.

Alice piped up, " I saw that it is suppose to get pretty stormy this afternoon. I think we are better off heading home before it hits."

Bella looked a little confused, "Since when do you care about rain, you guys were the ones that dragged me out in the middle of that lightning storm to play baseball?" looking around at the three of us.

"I know love, but we really do have a lot more to do before we leave for Alaska." In my most convincing tone, I looked at her with smoldering eyes that she can't ever resist. She couldn't really argue my point, we had been so busy either chasing each other all over the house or out hunting, we hadn't gotten much packed.

"Okay, I guess you're right, we can head back." Bella replied slightly defeated.

With in a few minutes Jasper and I had the geared loaded in the Jeep. Since Alice's visions yesterday did not include unfavorable weather, we left the top for the Jeep at home. As we looked up into the sky, seeing coal black clouds quickly moving in, we knew we were in for a wet ride.

Even though the drenching rain did not technically cause our skin to chill, I still held Bella close to me. By the time we were home, we were soaked through, or clothes clinging to us as if they had been masterfully painted on. I lifted Bella out of the vehicle and carried her up to our bathroom. I turned the water on very hot in the shower and let the steam fill the room like a sauna. Pulling her waterlogged sweatshirt over her head, letting my hands run through her hair, down her back, giving her goose bumps. We stood in the scorching water, letting it warm us as if we were still human, as if still warm blooded. I held Bella close to me, her arms curled into her chest like a child. When the water started to run cooler, she motioned to get out.

"Just stay with me a little longer…" I whispered. She sensed my uncharacteristic neediness and returned to my arms. I was still so torn on what to do about Jacob.

Later that evening, we curled up in bed, Bella pulled out her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ to read for the hundredth time. I gently pulled the book out of her hands, she gave me a scowl.

"Can we just talk? I feel like we have been so busy with everything else, I haven't had time to talk with you like we use to.

"How are you feeling about everything, I mean now that you are somewhat settled in your new self?" I asked cautiously, she hadn't shown any regrets yet, but I was anticipating them.

"I'm good. I'm with you, that's what matters. So far no complaints. Though, the no sleep thing is sometimes weird, but I'm sure I'll get use to it." She smiled.

"Bella, I glad that you have not felt the pain of your choice, the burden of regret yet."

"And why should I? This is what I wanted." She asked slightly defensive

"Because you haven't had to say goodbye to anyone. I know you said goodbye to Charlie and Renee at the wedding, but you didn't have a chance to say anything to your other friend, Angela, Ben, Mike. You may not even be ready to come home at Christmas. It could be a very long time until you see anyone."

In our world, saying goodbye was not just a form of send-off, it was severing ties. Keeping those that are important to use at a distance, to protect them from what we are. I didn't have the chance to say good-bye to my parents, as we all lay on our deathbeds. I the only one _saved_ from the peacefulness of death.

"And what about Jacob?" I asked softly while winding my fingers in hers, pulling her closer to me as I approached the sensitive topic.

"What about Jacob? I have made my choice to be with you, to be one of you. He wasn't able to accept that. I can't expect any more from him, and it's better if he moves on sooner rather than later," her voice cracking a little with emotion.

I knew it was going to hurt telling her this, but she needed to know, "Bella, he doesn't know that you have changed." She looked back at me in utter incomprehension.

"What do you mean? He ran away."

"I heard him, in the forest. Yes, he is distraught beyond belief -"

She cut me off, not even responding to my betrayal, "He ran away just because of the wedding?" Her eyes grew wide, pain flicking through them.

"Yes, it appears so." I answered softly, studying her eyes as they stared off in the distance.

She paused, "Well, he's better off. He needs to move on." The hardening of her voice not fooling me to the magnitude of the pain that was hitting her, reaffirming the depth of the damage she had caused to her former best friend.

The rest of the evening Bella was quite. I knew that she needed to deal with her emotions in her own way, and I let the subject lie.

The moving van was coming on Thursday to load up our belongings. The entrance at the base of the stairs had become a maze of boxes. As we prepared to start our new life, separate from our family, Esme was having the hardest time seeing us leave. She pulled me aside as the movers were putting the last boxes in the truck.

"Edward," She said taking my hands, "Carlisle and I are so very happy that you found Bella and that everything worked out." I smiled back at her and her motherly love. "We understand why you need to take some space, for Bella to get adjusted, for you two to build the ground work for your marriage. We want you to know, that you can come home _anytime _you want. If you are ready before the year is over, we will welcome you with open arms and support you in any way we can. This family just isn't whole without you two." She gave me a soft smile.

"Thank you Esme. I truly appreciate your loving words. We feel the same way, and I know that Bella and I will be back to join you just as soon as we can. We will miss everyone very much." I gave her a hug and turned to meet Bella in the car.

Bella was quiet. She wouldn't voice it, but it was hard for her to leave Forks where so many fond memories had been made. She worried about Charlie being alone again. I'm sure she worried about Jacob. I knew she would never admit any of it to me for fear I would be hurt, as if her sadness to leave her human life reflected on her love for me.

On the drive, Bella experienced her first encounters with humans since her change, and not to near the magnitude she would have to endure some day, she could barely even smell them as they passed by in their cars. Bella's jaw would clench and her grip would tighten on the door handle, a low rumble emanated from her throat. I feared that I had sheltered her too much from her ever-present lust for human blood in her first weeks of life. Selfishly, I just wanted her to adjust as best she could to this life, before she had to face her greatest hurdle. I knew we had our work cut out for us.

We arrived at our little cabin in the woods just after dark, the shadowing from the surrounding ancient pines making the dark more sever. Light snowflakes were starting to dance down to the ground. As we approached the front door, I scooped Bella up in my arms, and carried her across the threshold, "Welcome home." I said, placing a light kiss on my wife's lips.

The cabin had a large, open living area with the kitchen off to the right. The furniture I had bought had already arrived, two large overstuffed couches, centered around an expansive fireplace, naturally shaped stones framed the opening and reached up to the ceiling. To the left were my piano and the entrance to the bedroom and master bath. On either side of the fireplace were built in bookcases, filled with our volumes. Bella walked over and fingered the spines, she pulled a copy of _Wuthering Heights_, the new spine cracking as she opened it.

"I thought you needed a new copy," I whispered in her ear as I came behind her, wrapping my arms around her. She smiled softly.

"What do you think?"

"Edward," turning around in my arms, "It's perfect, just like you," reaching up and pressing her cool lips to mine.

The next day I decided we needed to start getting Bella better adjusted to the human race. I knew our goal was to return to our old way of life, be as mainstreamed as possible. But with her newborn blood raging through her, she was going to have to work very hard to over come what she was.

I took Bella to a nearby park. It was a cold day, there weren't many other people out, just a few walking their dogs. We sat down on a park bench, and I wrapped my arms tight around her. The closest human was a hundred yards away.

"Ok Bella, you can breath now." She looked back at me apprehensively. She took a deep breath through her nose, letting all the scents soak through her. In an instant, her body stiffened under my hold. Her eyes glazed over with the red haze of hunger and a low snarl sounded from her throat. I had to keep a tight hold on her, if she really wanted to, she could over power me. Her newborn strength would put even Emmett to the test.

"Bella, listen to me. You need to push the hunger down. Focus on why we are here. Focus on Charlie and Renee. Push it down, control your hunger." She was snapping her sharp teeth, her hands clenched into white-knuckled fists, writhing in agony at her unattainable desire.

Bella, more than any of us at this stage, understood the need for this. She knew what it meant to be one of us, but still hold on to humanity as much as possible. Especially since she wasn't ready to completely severing ties with her parents yet, it was a necessary evil.

We sat on the park bench for several hours, her tension never letting up, her glare distant. I finally asked her to stop breathing so that the thirst could subside. Once it did, the hunger gone from her eyes, she looked up at me in total abhorrence.

"Oh god Edward! I truly wanted to kill those people. It was all I could think about." She said turning into my shoulder to cover her eyes in pain.

"I know Bella. This is what we are. I knew you wouldn't fully understand it until you experienced it. I am so sorry you ever had to. But it is the only way that you can build up your tolerance." I felt such pain for what I had done to her, for what she had to experience now. For all we had gained, had she lost too much, too much innocence, too much humanity?

We repeated the exercise every day for several weeks. The people never getting any closer than twenty-five yards from us. But each day, it got a little easier for her.

We settled into a pattern, the days blurring together, the weather getting ever colder. We had found several parks in the area that offered plentiful hunting. I was taking one night class in advanced musical composition. I was uncertain, but Bella insisted that I get out of the house. She could see the cabin fever setting in.

One evening in late October, Bella and I were in our favorite positions on the couch. I was propped up, she was between my legs, her head resting on my chest, a book in her hand, and the fire roaring. I was deep in thought, my eyes shifting between the fire and her. The only time my mind was truly silenced was when it was just Bella and me. Ah, how I loved it. Alone with just _my_ thoughts.

I was so occupied in my own head, that I didn't notice someone approach the house. There was a light rap at the door. Bella looked up at my in surprise, the house was buried fairly deep in an evergreen forest, far off of the road.

Within a split second, I knew whose voice it was. I turned to Bella, "I'm sorry," confusion set in her eyes.

I was at the door, and with the most polite voice I could muster, "Hello Tanya."

I knew why she was here, and I wasn't happy. The one time that Tanya came up in conversation with Bella, I abstained from fully disclosing the details, not seeing it necessary. When Carlisle and I lived with Tanya's coven, she had actively pursued me, relentless really. I made it very clear, in my most gentlemanly way, that I was not interested in her romantically. It's not that she wasn't beautiful, no, she rivaled Rosalie. She was statuesque with strawberry blonde hair falling to the middle of her back. She had full, wide lips and high cheekbones. She had been a vampire for a very long time, longer than Carlisle and she knew how to use our advantages to get her way. No, it wasn't her looks. I desired someone that was an intellectual match as well and I speculate I just never saw the challenge. But I was a different man then, until Bella I never even desired a companion.

When I had returned to Alaska for the three brief days, after Bella arrived in Forks. When I thought my own personal devil had arrived to destroy me, Tanya reinitiated her quest. I was not in a state to put her straight, all I could think about was the little frail human girl and how she was causing me to hurt my family.

Bella twisted around, looking over the back of the couch at our uninvited guest.

"Hello Edward." Tanya said with a brilliant smile, a devilish gleam in her eye.

Bella was at my side, taking my hand. "Please won't you come in out of the cold?" I gestured to her. She took a swift step inside the house, her eyes locked on Bella.

"Tanya, this is my _wife_, Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella, I have heard so much about you." Tanya responded in her most ladylike tone, all the while her internal voice screaming.

_This is what I lost this divine man to! Even as a vampire she is plain. What could she possibly offer him that I couldn't? I could do things for him that she never dreamed of._

Tanya was fully aware of my gift and obviously didn't feel the need to censor her thoughts. I shot her a warning look, a deep, protective rumbling coming from my throat. She quieted her mind more thoroughly.

"What brings you to Juneau, were you in the area?" I asked politely, controlling my irritation, her home was two hours away, even at our speed.

"Yes, I was in the area. I spoke with Carlisle recently. He and I have been keeping in touch, every since the incident with Volturi and Victoria. We have been keeping each other up to date on news we hear. Plus, I like to know that is going on with that large pack of werewolves. There were threats of a war," She shot an accusing look at Bella, "We always like to be prepared. Not all of us have an Alice in their family." She finished with a sly smile, batting her eyelashes at me.

"Plus, I wouldn't miss the chance to congratulate the newlyweds," having a hard time hiding the distaste in her voice.

Bella was standing quietly by my side, holding my hand tightly, taking in Tanya. I wasn't entirely sure why it was there, seeing that she couldn't hear Tanya's thoughts, but I could feel the discomfort radiating from her.

The three of us came around to sit on the couches. Bella, sitting stiffly next to me. Tanya, exuding confidence and attitude, lounged back leisurely.

"How is everyone else doing?" I asked, attempting to seem interested. We had stayed with Tanya's group for some time, many years ago and I had become friendly with many of the members.

"They're good. Same old, same old. A few have fallen of the wagon. But, what can you expect, this life isn't for everyone." Referring to our choice for a vegetarian diet.

"Edward, remember how much fun we had hunting? I introduced you to your love of mountain lions," giving me her sexiest grin. I sat there stone faced, not sure what to make of the whole situation. I could hear the inappropriate thoughts streaming from her again.

"Irina and I have missed you and Carlisle so, you were so nice to have around. We did have some good times." I could feel Bella's arm tighten, and a very low growl start from her. Tanya smiled wickedly, her eyes condescending. We continued in this superficial banter for several minutes.

I was at a loss for what to do. I wanted to get Tanya out of the house. The intention of her visit certainly wasn't congratulatory. I could hear her nasty thoughts, her plotting. But I didn't know how to politely get her to leave. Her sisters had always been hospitable to my family and me.

There was an uncomfortable pause in conversation, Bella was stood up, "Thank you for stopping by to visit Tanya, It was so nice to meet you. We hope you have a safe journey home." She said in a forced polite tone as she walked towards the door and held it open. Tanya looked up at me in utter disbelief, at the boldness of my wife. I gave her an impish smile in return. Thrilled to the core that Bella wasn't going to let this woman shake her.

Tanya slowly rose and moved towards the door. Bella reached out her hand in a gesture of friendship, "Thanks again for coming. Take care."

"Goodbye Edward," Tanya said, turning to Bella and giving her a small nod.

Bella closed the door and turned around in what I expected to be a sign of victory, instead, there was pure fury coming from her, directed at me!

She marched to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. I stood there stunned. What had just happened?


	6. Chapter 6

"Bella...love...will you please open the door so we can talk?"

I stood there silent, waiting for a response. Bella and I hadn't ever had a fight like this. I wasn't quite sure what to do. Seeing as I had never had a relationship with another woman, vampire or human, I didn't have a point of reference.

I waited outside the door for several hours, but no response from Bella. I decided to do the only thing I could, I called my brother.

"Hey Edward, what's up? How's Alaska? See any good bears up there?" Emmett chuckled into the phone, always so lighthearted.

"It's good. I can't really chat right now though. I need some advice."

"Sure, shoot, what kind of advice?" He asked curiously. It was rare that I went to Emmett for advice, but he had the most experience in taming a wild female heart – Rosalie's.

"Bella seems to be upset with me, and I'm not entirely sure why. We were enjoying a quite evening at home and out of the blue Tanya showed up at our door" Emmett let out a snort, but I continued, "I certainly didn't invite her, but didn't want to be rude. I knew she had come to size up Bella. I think Bella could sense my discomfort and basically kicked Tanya out, but in a polite way. Then she stormed out of the room and now she won't speak to me!" I said confounded

Emmett started laughing on the other end of the line, "What's funny about this?" I asked annoyed.

"Let me ask you this Edward, how much did you tell Bella about Tanya before this?" amusement in his voice.

"I don't know, the basics I guess, that we had lived with her and her family for awhile. I didn't see any reason to tell her more." Not understanding where his line of thought was going.

"Did you tell her that Tanya was obsessed with you?"

"Well, obsessed is a little strong of a word," Emmett snorted again at that. "I told Bella that Tanya had shown interest, but that I politely let her know that I was not interested in her romantically."

"So, I am assuming that you didn't mention to Bella that Tanya is one of the most beautiful vampires, in probably the whole world, I mean other than Rosalie of course." Emmett said under his breath.

"Why would that matter? Bella knows I love _her_, that's what matters. I don't see where my history, or lack there of, with Tanya or her beauty come in to play."

"Edward, Edward, you have a lot of learning to do about woman. First of all, it doesn't need to make sense for them to get mad about it. Secondly, even though Bella knows that hers is the only mind you can't read, she still expects you to understand exactly what she is thinking, and why all of the time.

"Bro," he said still chuckling, "you are now eternally bound to the most irrational creature, a woman. If I had to guess, Bella was jealous. But instead of telling you that so that you could explain to her that there is no reason for it, she just got mad. I have seen that sort of irrational response from Rose." He was still lightly laughing to himself, probably remembering the many times he has had to dig himself out of this sort of hole. I thought I heard Rosalie yelling in the background at him.

"So, what did I do wrong?" I asked, totally perplexed.

"Probably nothing, that's the kicker." Emmett's voice was still smiling. "But you're going to have to grovel to make it right."

"But if I didn't do anything wrong…" Emmett cut me off.

"Doesn't matter, to her you were still wrong and that means it's up to you to fix it. Good luck with that one! I would suggest buying her a new car, but I know Bella isn't into that stuff.

"Oh, but the good news is, once she does forgive you, make-up sex is the best!" he said with a little too much enthusiasm. I'm certain images of Rosalie quickly overtaking his thoughts.

"Thanks Emmett." I said sarcastically and hung up.

I wasn't sure if that conversation had cleared anything up for me. I stood there shaking my head for a moment.

"Bella, love, can you please come out and talk with me? This is silly, I don't even know why you are upset with me." I whispered to the door, my hand pressed against it, trying to come to terms with how I was going to fix this situation that apparently was not my fault, but I still didn't want Bella troubled.

I heard her get up from the bed and swiftly swing the door open; the look in her eyes was fierce, with a hint of pain. I'm sure she saw a stunned look in return.

"Really Edward, how could you look at that woman, and then look at me and not understand why I am upset?" All I could think was, what? I must have looked like a deer in headlights at that point. Was Bella really jealous of Tanya? There wasn't even any form of comparison there, Bella was divinely more exquisite.

"Love, I'm not entirely sure why you are upset, but I would really like to make it right, just tell me what I should do?" I tried to approach her, pleading coming from my voice as she stood there, hand still on the door, ready to slam it at any moment.

She let of a big huff of breath and her shoulders sagged. "I don't understand why you would have settled for me…when you could have had…her?" She didn't look at me as she said it, twisting her toes into the carpet.

"Bella how could you ever say that?" I went to her swiftly and pulled her close to my chest, breathing in her scent, I whispered in her ear, "You know that I have only _ever_ had eyes for you. There has been no other woman in my entire existence that interested me, much less could compete for my affections. After all that we have been through, silly girl, you are still unsure of the hold you have on me? How is that possible?" My forehead touching hers, trying to drill the sincerity of my words into her.

"I know I am being stupid, but the way that she looked at you, and the snide comments about 'how much fun you guys had'" she said in a high-pitched, disdainful tone, "It made me want to leap across the living room and…rip her to shreds.

"I feel awful for kicking her out like that since she is your friend, but I just couldn't take it!" Embarrassment washed over her face.

"Well, I'm proud of you and don't worry for a second about her. If it had been me in that situation, I probably would have started a fight." Giving her an adoring smile back. A small ting of pain shot through me, remembering that I had been in that exact same situation with Jacob Black and how it nearly ate me alive with jealousy. She seemed to notice the subtle change in my expression.

There was a pause, then Bella dropped her gaze, "I'm so sorry Edward," pain coming from her voice.

"For what love?"

"I can't imagine how you felt all those times with Jacob, in the tent, when I visited La Push. I am still so sorry that I did that to you. I don't know how I will ever make it up to you." Sadness was in Bella's beautiful eyes. We acknowledged long ago that no one, and at the same time, we all were, at fault for that situation with Jacob.

"It's okay. There is nothing to forgive. You never meant to hurt Jacob or me. If you weren't so incredibly irresistible, then we wouldn't have had the problem at all," I smiled. She had chosen me, giving me the ability to so easily reassure her.

I raised her chin with my index finger to meet my smoldering gaze. I wanted my wife, right then and there, to make her understand _none_ of the past mattered, not Jacob, not Tanya, none of it. She acknowledged the desire in my eyes by reaching her sweet, full lips up to meet mine, kissing me deeply, more than we ever could when she was human. I lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around my waist. Our lips never losing their connection as I carried her over and placed her on our bed, letting the weight of me cover her, like a protective blanket. She whispered in my ear, "I love to feel your weight on me, it makes me feel safe and whole."

My fingers ran over her face, through her hair, holding her face tight to mine. I traced her lips with my tongue. She pulled my shirt up over my head, and ran her fingers down my torso, tracing each line, sending agonizingly delicious chills through me. My one hand reached up to caress her breast causing her to let out a small moan.

There was an edge of desperation from both of us, as if we were trying to express physically to each other how much we needed one another, how no one else had ever mattered. We melted into one another, the lines where one body stopped and the other began blurring together. This was our first fight…and our first make-up sex.

"Edward." She murmured into my chest as we lay curled up in bed, sheets all intertwined in our bare legs, pillows and clothes strewn everywhere.

My eyes were closed, replaying each exquisite moment we just shared. "Hmmm," was all I could get out.

"Do you regret at all changing me?" My eyes flashed open at at her words and looked at her in bewilderment.

"I mean…I know that it doesn't really matter, because it won't change anything, but I would like to know what you think." Sincerity poured from her. I saw no sign of edge or insecurity in her eyes. She honestly wanted to know.

I shook my head, pulling her closer to me. "No. I don't. Of course it was excruciating to know that I was the reason you were in so agony, but I knew it would end. There was a small part of me right afterwards that missed your humanity, your flushed cheeks, and your erratic heartbeat. But, they have been replaced with other wonderful things, like…" I could feel the desire coming back, knotting up in my core, "what we just did." I smiled, touching my lips to her forehead. "Although we did it while you were human, and it was wonderful, I didn't realize until after that there was so much restraint still. Now we can completely give in to one another."

"You mean how I am more durable," She chuckled at my terminology.

"Yes, that, and how I have someone to spend my nights with now. I know that I spent them with you before, and I loved all of them, to hear you talk in your sleep, but now is better. Much more interactive." She gave me a soft smile. "And best of all, I am not constantly worrying about who or what is going to take you away from me. It used to eat away at me. I feel an internal peace now that I have never had. Bella, I told you, I am far too selfish of a creature to not want you with me forever.

"Now's my turn, do you…have regrets?"

She thought for a moment. "No, I really don't. Obviously there was some getting use to, but nothing I wasn't prepared for. I know what you mean about the internal peace, because I feel it too. I finally feel past the point where I am waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I am really, truly, so happy being your wife, your lover, your equal."

Her words made me beam. I felt the warmth and love radiate out of me as I pulled her close to my chest. I am not sure what I ever did to be lucky enough to be loved by this heavenly creature, but I don't really care.


	7. Chapter 7

It was mid-December by now, the winter was increasingly cold and dark. It made us realize how much we appreciated the dreary overcast days of Forks. At least there, you knew the sun was somewhere, even if behind the clouds. I could tell that Bella was getting cabin fever. She spoke with Alice more often on the phone. Alice told her how much everyone missed us; it was terribly quiet there without Bella to cause trouble. I reassured her that our separation from the family was only temporary, but thought realistically it would be a while until we returned. Typical Bella put my feelings first and told me she couldn't be happier having me all to herself, but I suspected otherwise.

Bella occasionally corresponded with Charlie and Renee, becoming very creative with her non-existent college life. Luckily both her parent's realized that Bella was an adult now and didn't pry much. They seemed to be okay with letting her lead her new life with me, without much interference, since she was seemed happy. In the back of our minds we knew there would come a day that the only solution would be for Bella the human to die, but now needn't be the time.

She had worked up her tolerance so that she didn't need to feed more than twice a week, which was impressive for this early stage. Though I can't say that I am the least bit surprised, everything about Bella was extraordinary.

I wanted to cheer her up, so I planned a surprise, something I knew she had never done as a human. We were in the living room, Bella was pouring through another book, and I was at the piano. There was a knock at the door, Bella's eyes shot up to mine with distress.

"It's okay love, it's just a package I ordered." Once the courier had left the house, I went to the front door to retrieve the box.

"What did you order?"

"It's a surprise, come on, we are going out." I replied back with her favorite crooked grin.

"Okay, whatever you say. I'll take any reason to see you smile like that." She beamed back.

I put the boxes in the back of our black BMW X5 4.8Lis, a wedding present from Emmett and Rosalie. They had wanted to get us a Hummer H2, but I preferred something a less ostentatious, and faster. I knew we needn't drive far until we would arrive at my planned destination. I drove the truck off the road a bit on a dirt path covered with snow, deeper into the woods. It was close to eight p.m. and the sky was perfectly clear, a pristine evening. If we were human, it would have been much too cold, but that was not the case.

"Where are we?" Bella asked with complete confusion.

"A small lake about five miles from the house."

"And why are we at a frozen lake?"

"Look in the box." I coyly responded.

Bella got out of the truck, I could hear the snow crunching under her boots, and went around to retrieve the package from the back. I followed her around, not wanting to miss her response.

She opened the package to find two pairs of ice skates, one for her, white figure skates, and one pair for me, black hockey skates.

She looked up at me with dubiousness, "And what are we suppose to do with these Edward? I realize that I no longer trip over my own feet, but this is a stretch, I don't think even as a vampire I could pull off ice skating."

"Trust me Bella. You'll do great, and it's a lot of fun. I wanted us to do something I knew you never did as a human, and for good reason." I chuckled.

"Okay, but you are lucky I am nearly indestructible now!" I laughed at her self-deprecating humor and kissed her on the top of the head before putting on my skates.

I pushed out on to the ice, it was extremely smooth. There was no wind and the bitter cold air even chilled my lungs. Bella paused on the edge of the lake, looking up at me in irritation at my apparent ease.

"It's okay, you're not going to fall, but I will catch you if you do." Smiling, I held my arms out for her.

With trepidation, she placed her right leg on the ice and pushed off. Bella glided across the lake like a swan, nothing but pure elegance, to the right side of me and then circled around. Though I never doubted how she would do, I was impressed with her grace and beauty. She started to skate away from where I stood in the center, giving me a devilish grin over her shoulder.

"Oh, no you don't Mrs. Cullen!" I pushed off after her, grabbing her around her delicate waist, the momentum made us both twirl around in each other embrace. I turned her around to face me, placing my hand on her sweet face, delicately kissing her full lips.

Bella put her hands to my chest and pushed off, gliding backwards, taunting me to chase her by curling her index finger at me.

"Do you really want to do that? You know I always win." A huge grin on my face as I took off after her. She jumped into action trying to get away. After a few laps around the small lake, I caught up to her and pulled her to the snowy ground, sending her into a fit of giggles. I couldn't help but laugh just listening to her. We lay there in the snow, I propped myself up on my elbow looking at her glorious face, as she stared up at the night sky.

"Thank you Edward, I guess I didn't realize I needed that." Her eyes shifted from the sky to my smoldering stare. Just gazing at Bella, her hair strewn all over the snow, her beautiful eyes staring up at the heavens soaking in their depths, made my heart glow with happiness.

"You are very welcome. It is my one and only job to make you happy, don't you know that by now?" I leaned over her and kissed her deeply and passionately.

We frequented the small frozen lake and Bella was getting exceptionally talented at skating, doing all kinds of twirls and jumps. We also ventured in to the town a few times to air Bella out, let her feel like apart of civilization again. I was uncertain about it, but she assured me that she felt in control of her urges. I knew she would not be able to advance her tolerance to humans if she didn't push her limits occasionally.

We kept our distance from the people, going in the evenings when there wouldn't be many on foot. Bella had done well, initially she had to use all her restraint to keep the red haze from creeping up on her, but it was getting easier for her.

It was one of those evening trips in to town that it happened. We were walking hand in hand through the business area, it was very cold and there were flurries of snow in the air and thick ice on the sidewalks.

There was a mother and child walking about fifty yards in front of us, a safe enough distance for Bella to be comfortable. Bella was looking to her right at the store windows with all of their Christmas decorations. She was saddened that we would be away from family for Christmas. I saw the child slip on the ice, her hands going out in front her to break her fall. She started to cry as she got up, holding her palms up for her mom to see.

By the time it hit my senses, it was almost too late. It took all my strength to pull Bella back to me, to my chest, holding her tight. Her arms and legs were flailing wildly trying to escape, her eyes had glazed over and the growl of hunger was coming from her chest. I quickly pulled her into an alleyway, away from the sight of any humans. I pushed her back against the brick wall, holding her hard against her shoulders.

"Bella! Bella! Listen to me. It is a child. I know you don't want to kill that child. Look at me Bella." She was looking straight through me as I tried to break her trance.

I shook her shoulders and grabbed her face, forcing her to look me in the eyes. The ferocity and anger that I saw in her eyes was overwhelming. I felt my first twinge of regret. I wanted to cry out in anguish seeing my Bella like this, not because I couldn't handle seeing the blood-lusting devil that resided in all of us, but because I felt like I had stolen her innocence the day I changed her.

Finally, I felt her body relax slightly, her eyes refocused and found mine, hers going wide with fright. She threw her arms around my neck and buried her head.

"Oh god Edward. That was awful. I had no idea it would be like that. How could I have been so foolish?"

I put my hands on either side of her face and made her look at me, "Bella, it is not your fault! Do not blame yourself for this. You had no idea how much stronger their blood smells. This is all part of learning, we all went through this."

Her eyes pleaded with herself to believe me. "But Edward, what if…"

"Shh, my love. Don't even say 'what if?' it doesn't matter. Everything is okay. You are doing exceptionally well for only four months in to this life, much better than any one else. I know it was frightening, the loss of control, but you have to experience it to learn to deal with it."

I pulled her close to me, holding her tight. As much as I would try to prevent it, I knew she would blame herself, put a notch in her confidence. We stood in the alleyway for a long time, letting the snow fall on us, finally turning to retreat back home. Bella went straight in to our bedroom and quietly closed the door. I knew her well enough to know she just needed some time.

I called Carlisle, "Hi Edward, how are you doing? How's the weather us there?"

"It's good, cold and getting very dark." I am sure the weight of the recent events was evident in my voice.

"What wrong son?"

"Bella had her first set back today. Nothing happened to any humans, but it still scared her to death. I know she is going to have a hard time getting past this. What can I do for her to make her understand that unfortunately, for us, this is normal?"

"Edward, Bella has a strong heart. This will be difficult for her to understand, just as it was for you, only she has a much deeper understanding than any of us had at this point as to the ways of this life. She will be okay. I know you want to protect her, as we all do, but she needs to experience this pain to see past it, to work harder at building her tolerance." Carlisle said, the sincerity and worry seeping through his words.

"I know, I just feel so helpless when she is upset like this. I want her to be happy." My hands were covering my eyes, trying to block out the sight of Bella in that state.

"She is Edward, Alice conveys to us all the time how happy she sounds. She loves you and she knew this would happen some day. You in no way diluted her to that fact. All you can do at this point is continue giving her your love and support. She'll be okay." I knew that Carlisle's words were true, but I was impatient when it came to Bella's well being. I knew I couldn't protect her from the world, especially our world with all of its demons, but I still yearned to try. I went into the bedroom, she was lying on the bed, her back to me, staring at the fire. I climbed into the bed and pulled her close to me, molding her body to mine, silently trying to abolish her pain.

The next day, Bella was better, seeming to have come to terms with the previous evening's events. She was buzzing around the house doing some housekeeping. I was at the piano trying to work out a piece that had been flitting through my head for several days.

"That's nice," She said, coming up behind me, putting her arms around my neck.

"Thanks, I can't seem to get this one part down right, but I'm sure it will come to me. Maybe I just need a little inspiration." I said, pulling her around to my lap. I was just about to be in my preferred position, attached to my wife's lips, when my cell phone rang on the kitchen counter.

She pulled me closer to her and whispered in my ear, "Don't get it"

"As appealing at that sounds, and believe me it does, I probably should." I gave her a smoldering look. I could feel my eyes darken with lust, "Don't go anywhere."

"Hello"

"Edward, it's Charlie."

"Hi Charlie." I am sure he heard a bit of surprise in my voice; Charlie very rarely called unless it was important. "Would you like to speak with Bella?"

I handed the phone to Bella, she looked at me with concern, "Hi Dad, how are you?"

"I'm…okay kid, um, Billy died yesterday, complications with his diabetes. They are having a service for him in two days. I thought if there was any way that you could take a few days off from school and come home." There was pure anguish in Charlie's voice. He had already lost his other close friend Harry Clearwater the year before, and now Billy.

Bella just stood there with her mouth hung open, uncertain how to answer. I am sure part of it was the shock of Billy's death, we didn't even know his health had declined further, but more predominant was the issue that Bella was in no way ready to return to Forks to see her human family.

Her voice was unsteady, "I'm so sorry Dad, I know you must be so upset, but I'm not sure about coming home. I have a big test tomorrow that I can't miss and Edward..." I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face in her hair.

He cut her off, "Bella, you know I wouldn't ask you if it weren't important. You need to come home. Billy was like an uncle to you, and Jacob needs you right now. Sam finally found him and brought him home and then this happened." Charlie's voice was authoritative.

"Okay Dad, we'll try to work it out, I'll call you once we have our plans set." She hung her head down, knowing the impossibility of his demand.

She clicked the phone shut and turned around in my arms. She looked up at me with complete despair. I bit my lip from telling her the obvious that returning to Forks, much less for a funeral where there would be countless warm-blooded humans all packed into one building, was completely out of the question.

"Bella, my love." There was only love and concern in my eyes and I looked down at her.

"I know…I know Edward. I didn't know what to say to him, he's in so much pain and he doesn't have anyone now. I couldn't tell him no." Her eyes pleaded with me to find a way to make it work.


	8. Chapter 8

"Bella, I know you want to be there for Charlie," and Jacob I thought but didn't voice, "I really do. But you cannot go to the funeral. You are not ready." I tried to keep the fright out of my voice, and keep it one of only my undying love for my wife. I don't believe she needed a reminder of the recent events.

She just looked up at me with the same look she would give me when she human and about to breakdown in tears, only no tears followed. She buried her head in my chest. This would be her first real feeling of consequences from her decision, our decision. All along I surmised she would be able to work through her new desires, her new instincts, but severing ties from her loved ones was completely different. I worried she wouldn't be able to make it through whole.

We stood there for a long time, I was calculating if there was any way to make this work. I just didn't see how. It wasn't worth the risk.

"Edward" She looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes, "Can we at least go back to Forks to see our family? I would be able to check on Charlie without seeing him, just to know he is okay. I couldn't stand just staying here and not doing _anything_." When she looked up at me like that, pleadingly, how could I possibly deny her? She was my soul, the reason for my survival, the _only_ reason this existence meant anything at all. I couldn't tell her no.

The questions and uncertainties ran through my head at warp speed. Could I take her back to Forks to see our family to help her through this momentous hurdle, having her so close without making contact with Charlie or Jacob? Was it worth the risk for Bella's well being? At least at home everyone could help distract and reassure her. I could talk more with Carlisle about her progress. Maybe we would both be better off closer to family.

I let out a deep sigh before responding, "Bella, if we go back to Forks, you have to understand that you cannot make contact with anyone. I'm serious about this. I agree that it would be good for you, for us, to be close to family, but I have to make sure you understand the severity of the situation." I knew that my voice was stern, but I also hoped that she saw the love and concern in my eyes. This was a bigger risk than I was comfortable with, but I wanted, no I needed Bella to be happy and contended with her new life. If that meant bringing her out of our self-induced solitary confinement, then so be it.

"Edward, I understand what you are saying, and I knew that this point was coming all along, completely separating myself from Charlie and eventually Renee, I just wish it were under better circumstances. It is going to hurt him very much that I am not attending the funeral, but I can deal with that, as long as I can check on him and make sure he is okay."

"Okay love. I am going to call Carlisle and let him know of our plans. Go pack some clothes and we will leave shortly." I gave her a quick kiss as I pulled out my cell phone. She headed back to our bedroom to pack.

"Hi Edward." Carlisle answered his phone before the first ring. He must have known I would be calling. "You and Bella are coming home for a visit." He continued confirming my suspicions.

"Yes, did Alice have a vision?"

"Yes and I heard that Billy Black passed away. I am sure I don't need to state the obvious that Bella cannot attend the funeral," Carlisle replied with a caring, but fatherly voice.

"No, we realize that. Charlie all ready called and asked her to come home, actually not asked, demanded. She hasn't called him back yet to tell him she can't, she is going to make up something about school. He's going to be very upset with her and I am sure she is not looking forward to the conversation, disappointing him, you know how Bella is."

"Yes I do, always more concerned about others. But unfortunately, we all knew this was coming since it was out of the question, in Bella's opinion, to fake her death. We are all here to support her and you during this difficult goodbye."

"Thanks Carlisle. We are leaving shortly and will be there first thing in the morning. One more question, do you know what is going to happen to Jacob, I mean now that his dad is gone, he is still a minor, who's going to look after him?" I hushed my voice as I asked the last question.

"I believe that Sam and Emily are going to look after him, though I don't know if he is going to live with them or stay in his father's house. Drive safely and we will see you soon." Carlisle hung up the phone, I am sure he was going to immediately inform the rest of the family of the situation. As much as we didn't want to be Bella's jailors, we would need to keep an even closer eye on her while we are in Forks.

The drive once again was quiet, Bella held my right hand in her left, looking out the window at the vast darkness of the night passing us by at one-hundred and ten miles per hour. She was absorbed in her thoughts, her sadness and concern for Jacob and Charlie, her worry over how Charlie would take her turning her back on him, disappointing him so severely. She told me she wasn't ready to call him yet and break his heart, she would as soon as we arrived at the house.

When we pulled up the long driveway, to the big white house, the large, ancient trees casting a protective umbrella over it, a wave of happiness washed over me. I hadn't realized how much I missed this house, the first place I truly considered home. It is not that I was in any way unhappy with our life in Alaska; on the contrary, I felt a peace that I thought not possible for my eternal existence. We almost didn't know what to do with the lack of conflict in our new life. But, I did miss my family very much, and I know Bella did as well. The sun was just coming up and the rays were breaking through the trees at a low angel, casting variegated bright and shadowed stripes onto the heavily frosted front yard.

Alice was the first one out the door to greet us. "Edward, Bella, I'm so happy you're here, though I'm sorry for the circumstances." She gave me a quick hug and then raced around to Bella's side of the truck to do the same. She missed her best friend dearly.

Jasper was approaching us with a smile, "Hey Edward" giving me a firm hand shake, then pulling me in for a one-armed hug, "good to see you guys." He then went over and hugged Bella. "I'm glad I can finally do that and not want to kill you." He smirked back at her. Bella let out a chuckle.

We approached the porch, Carlisle and Esme were there, waiting to welcome us, Emmett and Rosalie were behind them. _Hello son, so glad to have you home, _Esme thought as she pulled me in for an embrace. I had Bella in tow. Emmett grabbed her, disconnecting our hands, up in a big bear hug.

"Hi Emmett" She chuckled, "Good to see you too."

"Bella, it is so darn dull around here without you!" Emmett laughed, setting her back down.

"Well, I will see what I can do to liven things up while I'm here." She smiled. I'm sure I was the only one that could see the hint of sadness in her intended happy expression. I also tried to ignore her joking remark about causing trouble, something Bella and I had seen far too much of.

Once we were in the house and had quickly caught up with everyone, I pulled Bella up to our old room. It was still the same, with the big king-sized, wrought iron bed in the middle of the room. Esme insisted that I leave it here and buy a new one for our house in Alaska, just in case we came home to visit, mothers always know best and for that request I'm glad I didn't argue.

I pulled Bella to the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to my side, "Bella, I know you don't want to do this, but you need to call Charlie."

She hung her head down, putting her hands up to her face. I wished I could make the call for her. In some ways, I wished I had the opportunity that she has, to properly say goodbye, to let my parents know that although I was no longer with them, I was okay, even if this is not the preferred form of existence. Such was not the case for me, or for any of us. My parent's left this world before me, and everyone else's, presumed his or her child dead. Even knowing that, I in no way envied Bella having to make this call to Charlie. He loved his daughter so much, even though he had so little time with her when she was growing up; now it was as if they were never apart all those years. Even in his overreactions, it was only in concern and love for Bella. He had come a long way accepting me in Bella' life, he even happily walked her down the aisle and offered her to me in marriage. But this, this would devastate him, her turning her back on him when he needed her most, when he demanded her presence, her support and love.

I retrieved my cell phone from the pocket of my jeans and handed it to her. She unhurriedly took it from me. The look in her eyes was pure agony.

"Hi Dad, it's me." She didn't pause, not wanting Charlie to break her train of thought, "Look Dad I'm really sorry, but there is no way that I can make it home for the funeral. I talked with my professors and if I were to miss classes right now, I may not pass my courses, and then I will have to repeat everything. I really wish I could make it home, but I don't want to mess up so early in my college career." Bella tried to keep her voice strong and firm.

She knew that Charlie and Renee had only given their approval to us getting married so quickly because we said we would still be attending college. Charlie didn't have a college education and it was very important that his daughter did. He wouldn't be as upset if leaving effected her college education, even if it was a total fabrication. I could hear Charlie's thoughts racing, he wasn't sure how he wanted to react. He was acknowledging that she was an adult, but his heart pleaded for her support and love right now. And he was concerned about Jacob, he knew Bella had chosen me, but did that mean she no longer cared at all for Jacob? Charlie hit on the exact question I had asked myself so many times.

"Bella, I am _not_ happy about this, but… I understand. You're an adult now. The last thing I want you to do is mess up your college education. I just…would have really loved to see you kid." Charlie sounded so weary, so much older than a few months ago.

"Could you do me a favor? Could you please at least call Jacob and let him know you are thinking about him, as I am sure are." That last comment made Bella's eyes turn away from me.

"Sure Dad, I can do that. I'll talk to you soon. Love you." Bella closed the phone shut. Even though Charlie appeared to take it well, we both knew this was the first stage in officially cutting ties for good.

Bella turned her face into my shoulder, letting the phone fall out of her hands to the floor. I pulled her close to me and laid us back on the bed, "Shh my love," running my one hand up and down her back, holding her face with my other hand, running my hands through her chestnut hair. She was silent for a long time, her little body shaking every now and then, as she took deep, ragged breathes, in hopes of controlling her emotions.

I could hear the concern of everyone's thoughts, my mind growing accustom again to having visitors. At the same time, they all had the thought I had had, none of us had the option to say goodbye, would it have been easier or harder given that opportunity? Knowing what existence was ahead of us? Knowing we would outlive everyone that had been important to us.

Bella pushed herself up from my chest. I looked at her sorrowful eyes; I wanted to abolish her pain away with my loving gaze. "It isn't fair for me to sit up here, stealing you away, and mope all day. Let's go visit with everyone while we can." She tried to smile as she said it, her face fought against her letting her lips curve up only slightly at the corners. Nowhere near the glorious grin I knew she was capable of.

"I'm not worried about anyone else, only you. And you can steal me away any time you like." I smiled, brushing a piece of her hair behind her hair. She leaned her face into my cool hand, letting her eyes close.

"You are too good to me, I don't deserve you." She gave a small sigh.

"Isabella Marie Cullen, when are you going to realize that I am on this earth solely to love you, and if you weren't here, I would cease to exist?" She opened her eyes from the change in my voice, ferocity in my eyes, feeling them smolder with passion, sensing them darkening.

I put my hands on her face, pulled her on to me, kissing her deeply, letting my tongue explore her mouth. She let in a gasp as I let my hand run down her back to her rear, pushing her in to me. Her hands were in my hair making my breath grow ragged with desire. Running my hand up her back, under her shirt, feeling her cool, marble skin. I was just about to unclasp her bra, the blue lace one that was my favorite. I have to remember to thank Alice again for _that _shopping trip, when I heard.

_Edward Cullen! You have had four months alone your wife to do that. Get down here and visit with your family!_ Alice yelled at me in her mind. I would have been very happy to ignore her intrusion, but I knew she wouldn't stay silent for long. With much regret, I pulled myself away from Bella's glorious lips. She looked back at me in bewilderment. Her eyes had darkened with lust as well.

"Alice is calling for us. I don't think she will let us keep her waiting." I sighed. Bella understood. We took a moment to right our clothing and headed downstairs to the living room where everyone was gathered.

Alice and Jasper moved over on the couch to make room for us. The sun was fully up and it flowed into the living room through the large wall-sized windows, reflecting off all the light surfaces, bringing its warmth, making it feel like a summer's day. I realized that was exactly how I felt when I was with my family, warm, bright, lighter. I hadn't recognized that Bella and I had been living in a perpetual slight overcast, not cloudy, but never enough to feel the warmth. There was so much joy and love in our life, how could that be? Suddenly guilt washed over me for feeling that way, that my wife alone couldn't provide all of the sun that I craved. I wondered, as I so often did since I couldn't hear Bella' thoughts, did she feel the same way, or was our little life in Alaska enough for her? I would make a point to speak with her about it.

Bella was on my lap and Alice was at my side, my arm around the back of the couch, resting on Alice's shoulder. I felt her go slightly stiff under my hand, something was flashing through her mind.

Alice's eyes went wide with excitement and she quickly turned to face me, _Oh Edward that would be so wonderful_! _We would move anywhere you want. You know this family loves you and Bella so much; we haven't been the same without you._

Alice obviously saw my internal decision to speak with Bella about moving back in with the family, and now I knew her answer. There were times that I wished that there were some surprises in my life, such as when Bella decided to accept my hand in marriage, but with Alice's visions and my ability to hear everyone's thoughts, it was nearly impossible. In this instance, I was perfectly happy knowing the outcome of my forthcoming decision. I gave Alice a quieting glance, now was not the time to discuss it.

"Edward, I hope since Bella hasn't gotten out much that you have gone shopping for her," Alice said with concern.

"Alice, with the amount of clothes you bought me before I left, I won't need to shop for a year!" Bella replied, lightly laughing.

_Well that's just crazy talk, _Alice thought with a scowl

"So Bella, how's it going so far? Killed anyone yet?" Emmett said lightheartedly.

Bella's expression changed immediately, her eyes grew wide, guilt flickered through them. I spoke up before she could let it consumer her any further.

"Bella has been doing great, amazing in fact. We have been going in to town fairly frequently. She has built her tolerance up unbelievably fast." I pulled Bella closer to me, looking at her with pride. Her eyes turned up to me in cynicism. She didn't think she was doing very well after the incident in town with the child.

"Has she kicked your ass yet Edward?" Emmett chimed up again, obviously not seeing the change in Bella's posture from his last question. She perked up at his last inquiry.

Bella let out a light chuckle. "Well, he is still faster than me" she grinned at me, "and most of the time he has better moves. As Edward would be happy to point out, he wins _almost_ every time. But I would be happy to arm wrestle you Emmett if you want to put me to the test."

Emmett stammered for a second, I'm sure not wanting to take the opportunity to lose to Bella and all her newborn strength. It completely shocked me at times how strong she was when she let herself yield to her new body.

Before Emmett could respond, there was a thud at the big window. We all turned to look at what caused the sudden sound.

"A robin flew into the window." Carlisle said calmly, turning back to us.

After a pause, Bella hopped up from my lap and walked over to the window. She looked out onto the deck to see the bird.

She turned to me, "It's not dead, but it looks like its wing is very broken." Bella…the only vampire that would be concerned about a hurt bird. I stayed on the couch watching her for a moment, in awe of the amount of love, even for a bird, that her heart was able to possess. She motioned to go outside. I rose from the couch and followed her; everyone else stayed seated, continued talking, but could clearly see outside.

She walked out to the deck. I was a foot behind her. The bird was lying on the cold, wet deck, breathing heavy in obvious distress and shock. It was trying to get up and right itself, spinning around in circles with its good wing extended, it couldn't retract its hurt wing, it was bent back at an unnatural, ninety-degree angle, the tips of its feathers broken and dangling.

Bella slowly bent down to scoop up the bird in her delicate little hands, taking extra care since one false move by her incredibly strong fingers would swiftly snap the bird's neck. As she stood up I placed a hand on her waist, looking over her shoulder.

She picked up the bird in her right hand, apprehensively running the fingers of her left hand over the shape of the broken wing, hovering above, but not touching it, until the very tip of the wing. As she made contact with the feathers, I felt a small wave of energy pass under my hand where it rested on her waist. Bella pulled her left hand back from the bird's wing, and it was right again, the wing was back to its natural shape. The bird quickly retracted it to its side.

Bella took in a small gasp of air. She swiftly turned to look at me, her eyes bulging out, seeing absolute shock in mine.

"Edward, what just happened?" She said confounded.

"I think…you just healed the bird with your touch, love." Certain my voice had as much uncertainty as hers. If I hadn't just seen it with my own amber eyes, I don't think I would have believed it.

My family's thoughts bombarded me from inside the house; _did she just heal that bird with her touch?_ Only Emmett's was different, he was looking at Rosalie with lustful thoughts, as usual.

Carlisle quickly come outside, everyone got up to follow. His were the only thoughts that were calm, calculating. He came up to Bella's side. She still held the bird in the palm of her hand, now covering completely encasing it to keep it from flying away. Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder in reassurance. She looked up at him, eyes still wide, not sure what to make of the situation.

"May I Bella," Carlisle said in his professional, soothing voice, holding out his cupped hands.

Bella nodded and gently handed the bird over to him. He cradled it in his hands, pulling the once broken wing out to examine it. No one said a word.

Carlisle broke the silence, "Well, I was beginning to wonder when your gift would appear. I knew someone as special as Bella would have even more to offer once she joined us." He smiled at her, like the proud parent he was.

"So…I can heal things?" She asked, still unconvinced.

"Yes, it appears to Bella. Did you not realize you were doing it?" Carlisle replied.

"No, I didn't. I just felt so bad for the little thing, I didn't want it to be in pain."

I raised my eyes from the bird in Carlisle's hands to his face, "When she touched it, when the wing repaired itself, I felt a small electric charge come from her. Bella, did you feel that?"

She turned to look at me rather sheepishly, in a whisper she said, "Yes, but I feel that all of the time when you are touching me." I felt a sweet grin come across my face. God I loved my wife.

Jasper was standing the farthest away, he cleared his throat to say, "If she is able to do that, why doesn't she heal the animals after she has fed from them?"

"That's a good question Jasper. I would guess it has to do with her _desire_ to heal the animal. Like Bella said, she felt bad for the bird and didn't want it to suffer. As a human, she was incredibly caring and compassionate, always putting other's well being before her own. Now it seems, after her change that wonderful quality results in an actual physical ability to heal, to take away their pain. It is quite amazing." Carlisle was still beaming at her. Everyone was quiet, trying to comprehend this new gift.

After a few minutes, Emmett piped up, "Well that's nice and all, but how is that gift going to help us if we don't get hurt?" In a quieter voice he said to Jasper, "I hoped maybe she would be able to do something really cool like make people levitate or something." Jasper chuckled.

"As with all of our family members' gifts, we don't realize how precious they are until we are really in need of them. I am sure Bella's abilities will be a great advantage at some point." Carlisle remarked back, half to himself, his mind was still racing, comprehending this newly found knowledge.

We spent the rest of the day hanging out around the house. Emmett and Jasper challenged me to Xbox games, thinking they would dominate me since I hadn't played in so long, and they were sorely disappointed. It ended in a rather destructive wrestling match in the living room.

"Boys, how many times to I have to tell you to save that until we are in the woods!" Esme called out from the kitchen, always the mother.

Alice and Bella were up in Alice's room catching up on girl talk, I was trying to block Alice's thoughts, but it was incredibly difficult when they kept saying my name. Once they were through talking about clothes, I perked up when I heard this conversation begin…

_So, Bella, spill it, how it is? _Alice demanded. I could tell Bella was trying to be coy and replied_ how's what Alice?_

_You know what, the sex!! _

_Ah, yes, the sex. _I am sure if Bella could have blushed at that point, she certainly would have.

_The sex is…well let's just say, there are days that we barely make it out of bed. _I saw Bella smiling in Alice's thoughts.

_I knew it, I knew Edward would be a good lover, he didn't believe me. He was worried about how inexperienced he was, but he can be so caring and sweet. I'm sure he's attentive… _I cringed at that last comment by Alice, I had completely forgotten about my conversation with her before the wedding.

_So, it's better as a vampire, right?_ Alice pushed.

_Oh yes Alice, it's definitely better as a vampire. I mean don't get me wrong, I am really glad we did before I changed, as a point of reference, but it doesn't even compare to how it is now._ I felt an involuntary goofy grin come across my face. I realized I was in the middle of a match with Emmett and snapped back to reality.

"What are you grinning about?" Jasper asked, sensing my mood change from competition to lust.

"Oh, nothing. There is just a very enlightening conversation going on between our wives." I smirked. Jasper caught on very quickly as he felt the mood change upstairs and gave me a knowing look in return. Yes, I truly missed my family.


	9. Chapter 9

It was approaching twilight, still my favorite time of the day. It occurred to me that although we had been wrapped up visiting with family, Bella may need to hunt. After spending the day with my brothers, and she with Alice and Esme, Rosalie was working in the garage, I really needed some quality alone time with her. I had undeniably gotten spoiled with having her all to myself.

I started up the stairs to release her from Alice's confinement as their conversation came into focus once again.

_Bella, I'm so sorry that you can't go to Billy's funeral. I know he meant a lot to you and Charlie._

Reflected in Alice's mind, Bella's head was hung low, looking down at her hands. _Would it help if I stopped over tomorrow after the funeral and checked on him?_ Alice asked with concern, she had grown to love Charlie, as he did her.

_Oh Alice, that would be wonderful, just to make sure he is okay. I know he would love to see you! _I heard Bella's voice brighten a bit as she continued, _Although I knew this was coming all along, it's so hard, to pull away, when Charlie only wants what's best for me. I know that Edward wants to protect me from this pain, and he just can't. I am fully aware of the consequences of my decision. Thankfully, this is one of the few negative prices I have to pay to spend eternity with_ _him, my angel. _I saw her give a sweet smile to Alice.

I was paused on the stairs, "Edward!" Alice yelled. Knowing full well that she could have just called to me in her mind, but wanting to pull me out of my reverie.

The next instant I came around the corner into Alice's room, seeing _my angel_, delicately curled up in the arm chair, her knees pulled tight to her chest, arms around them. As if she was attempting to hold her chest together like she had to so many times during those long months apart. Flashes of Jacob and Charlie's memories seared through my mind, reminding me once again how I nearly destroyed Bella by leaving her, with the delusion of protecting her. I constantly wonder if I, and she, would ever get over the pain I caused her. When she took me back, I swore I would spend every minute of my existence from that day onward trying.

"Yes?" I didn't look at Alice, but walked past her on the bed over to Bella. I put my hands out, she slowly unwrapped herself and seized them, and I swiftly pulled her to my chest, burying my lips in her hair behind her ear. Taking in a deep breath of her luscious scent. I felt the dull ache throughout my body subside.

I pulled her away from my chest a little so I could look her in her beautiful amber eyes, "You okay love?" She gave a weak nod in return. "Would you be willing to bestow your lowly husband your company for a little while?"

Alice had gotten up to go retrieve Jasper from downstairs, also feeling the necessity to see her other half.

"Edward…don't be silly…I will always want your company. And you will never be lowly." She scowled at me. "What did you have in mind?"

"I thought you might like to go hunting. It is a nice, clear evening." I looked back at her angelic face, still not entirely at ease with seeing her feed, at her most animalistic. I'm not certain if she felt the same, or since she had only known me in my vampire form, maybe it wasn't disconcerting to her.

"That sounds good. Do you want to ask anyone else to join us?"

"Um, no, I want you all to myself." I smirked and gave her a light kiss on her delicious lips.

"Well…okay." She smiled back, a glint in her eye.

We headed down the stairs and through the kitchen to the back door, hand in hand into the woods. We immediately took off at a leisurely run. I took in the night air, letting it cleanse my thoughts, everyone's internal babbling fading away. I looked over at Bella, her hair flowing behind her in chestnut waves. She looked like a goddess when she ran, my goddess. That thought made me bounce back to the day's earlier events, Bella's newly uncovered gift.

I hadn't had a chance to speak with her since the moments on the deck. I didn't know how she felt about it all.

I slowed my pace to a walk, still grasping her hand. "Love?"

"Umm," she replied in a soft, melodic tone.

"What are your thoughts about your gift?" My eyes searching her face with curiosity.

She paused as if she had already forgotten about her incredible ability. "I don't really know. It's not that I was expecting to have a gift, I wasn't. But, when it didn't surface in the first few weeks after my change, I assumed there wasn't going to be anything special about me as a vampire." She didn't add like when she was a human, but I knew she was thinking that. I have told her all along she didn't see herself very clearly.

My brow furrowed at her thought process. I grabbed her other hand and swung her around so that she had to look me in the eyes, "First of all, don't ever think that. Even if you didn't have a special gift, you could never be ordinary, as a human or a vampire. Secondly, what you can do is not the same as Alice or me. It needs certain circumstances and since we were so isolated, it never had a reason to present itself."

When will she ever get it in her head that she is the most amazing being to walk this earth, even if I am a little bias, it's still true? Bella has a bigger heart than anyone I met in my century long of existence.

I continued, "Bella, with how big your heart is, I am not at all surprised that your gift is to heal."

"Edward I didn't even know I was doing anything. How am I suppose to control it and use it when I need it?" she said incredulously.

"Let's think about this. I believe Carlisle was on to something when he said you needed to want to heal whatever it is. You said you were thinking about how you didn't want the bird to be in pain, right?"

"Yes," confusion on her face as to where I was going with this.

"Maybe it is a physical embodiment of your mental desires. A material result of your love and compassion." I wasn't certain, but the more I voiced the theory, the more it made sense. None of us understood why we could do what we could do, we had just learned to use and control it.

"Okay, say that's true. How do I learn to use it?" She said, not entirely convinced.

"I'm not sure love." I paused for a minute to think, letting my vision focus over her head at the distant forest.

"I could try what Jasper suggested." She offhandedly offered.

"Yes," I nodded, "you could try to heal an animal after you feed from it. But, you will need sufficient control to not drain the animal completely. Its heart can't stop." I highly doubted she had enough control for that, but I had no intention of discouraging her either. Nothing about Bella's transformation had been ordinary thus far. She seemed to take to this existence easier than the rest of us. Carlisle believed it was because she made the choice as opposed to it being thrusted upon her.

"Okay, let's get hunting." She smiled and started pulling me with her deeper into the woods.

Within a few minutes of running we came up on a large herd of deer, about twenty, bedded down for the night at the base of a hill. Bella broke free from my grasp and took off. She was indescribably beautiful when she ran, as graceful as a gazelle, but as deadly as a cheetah. She easily captured a doe in her lethal hold, bringing her to the earth in one swift movement. Within seconds it was over, and the deer was deceased, drained completely.

She stood up and looked down at the lifeless body, then turned to me a few feet away. "Sorry, I couldn't stop." She grimaced.

"That's okay, I'm sure you were thirsty, it has been quite a few days since that elk." I smiled. "Let's try again." I encouraged.

We ran another mile and came across the same group, though now they were not lying down, more on guard after the last Bella ambush. I took off after a large buck, he put up a fair fight, a better match, but he did succumb. His glorious blood filled my every pore, satiating my hunger, momentarily warming my perpetually chilled body.

I caught Bella out of the corner of my eye taking off after another doe, this one putting up a minor chase, before she brought her down hard, both of them flipping once on to the ground.

"Bella, stop before her heart does." I called out. She wasn't stopping. "Bella!"

I walked over to her. Her delicate frame protectively hunched over the animal. As I got closer she let out a deep, threatening growl, causing me to stop in my tracks from the shock.

After a few moments, her eyes at last drew up to meet mine, shame and frustration in them. "I'm so sorry Edward…I didn't even know I was growling until it was already out."

She stood up and shook her head angrily, clenching her fists and banging them on her sides while she started to pace around the carcass. "I couldn't do it. I really don't have a grip on this. I don't think I can stop!"

I closed the distance between us and put my hands on her upper arms, then lifting her chin with my finger forcing her to look me in the eyes. I saw frustration in hers. "It's okay, it takes incredible strength to stop before the heart does. We'll find another way to explore your abilities."

"No Edward!" She nearly shouted. "I should have been strong enough. I can't stand not being in control of my own actions, my own body!" Her voice rose in aggravation "I want to be as strong as you."

I let out a sigh, "I, unfortunately, have had eighty more years to work on my control. Besides, I am not as strong you think." Hanging my head down, visions hitting me of the torturous pain that I had to war with to stop from draining her completely. A sudden ache in my long-stilled heart at just the notion of how easily I could have lost her.

"Bella, now do you see why it is so hard to change someone, why Alice didn't want to do it when you asked? It's even harder with human blood. I would have actually been completely shocked if you could have refrained from stopping the heart. You are so new to this life and you already have incredible strength and control over your instincts."

I gave her a loving and understanding smile. I knew first hand how hard it was to stop once your body got a taste of what it so dearly desired. I pulled her to my chest, thankful every moment of my existence that I had somehow found the strength in me to stop.

I grinned down at her, "How about we try this. I will catch the animal, you do the healing," with a quick wink

She nodded her head in agreement, "lead the way." She motioned forward with her hand, still perturbed.

We took off through the woods once again, hand in hand. We were about three miles from the house and there was utter silence. It was divine. We came over a knoll to another smaller herd, this time only about six. I apprehended the closest one, not feeling the need to prolong the chase, letting my razor sharp teeth sink into her jugular. I let myself draw two deep swallows of her heavenly blood and pulled away. The deer was immobilized by my venom, as if dead, but her heart was racing feverishly in her chest.

"Okay Bella. See what happens." I motioned her over. She came up to the deer timidly; I could see her fighting her hunger. She laid her hands on the deer and closed her eyes in concentration for several minutes. She was struggling with her desire to comprehend her gift, and her craving to drain the animal completely. It's rapid heartbeat making it all that much harder for her. The deer continued in the same state, as if lifeless. Bella pulled her hands away forming them into fists of frustration. She looked up at me in a mix of disappointment and embarrassment.

"Nothing happened Edward. Maybe it was some kind of fluke." She hung her head down as she said it.

"Bella, do you want to heal the deer?" I asked softly with my most tender, loving voice as to try to calm her.

"Yes. I was trying to think about how I didn't want it to die…but, it doesn't really seem in pain. Plus, my throat is on fire the whole time making it very difficult to concentrate."

I nodded, internally acknowledging this wasn't the best route. I quickly bent down and finished the deer off, seeing no reason to prolong it or Bella's silent suffering.

"It's alright love. We don't need to figure this all out tonight." She stood up and wrapped her slender arm my waist. I pulled her close to me and gently kissed her then we started our journey back to the house.

After a few minutes of walking in peaceful silence, a notion occurred to me. Bella hit on it with something she said, the deer didn't appear in pain, therefore not causing an emotional reaction in her. Was that the key ingredient?

Without saying a word, I let Bella's hand go and took off into the woods. Within seconds I spotted a squirrel and scooped it up in my hand. Bella came up behind me.

"What are you doing?" she asked in confusion

I was holding the squirrel in my one hand, firmly around its torso so that it couldn't free itself, though it was trying desperately, head flailing around trying to get a piece of my flesh in its teeth. Little did it know, its teeth were no match for my stone-like skin

"Bella, you trust me, right?"

"With my heart and soul, why?" she said with bewilderment

I took the squirrel's rear leg in my fingers and snapped it back at an unnatural ninety-degree angle, just like the bird's wing. The animal let out an ear-piercing shriek of pain, writhing around in my hand.

"Edward, why would you do that?" Bella yelled, the animal's cries upsetting her

I said calmly, "Bella, do you want to stop this animal's pain?"

"Yes! Of course I do." She determinedly said back, getting flustered from the agony of the animal's screeching, waving her hands all around

"Bella, take the squirrel." I held the animal up to her.

She looked up at me with big, wide eyes, but hesitantly took the animal in her delicate fingers. I watched her with silent apprehension. She started to stroke the top of its head to calm it, moving down the animal's body to the severely broken leg. As she ran her hand down the leg's length and made contact, her index finger on the outside and thumb on the inside, it straightened itself out. The animal instantly relaxed in her grasp.

Bella looked up at me with a mixture of shock and delight and I beamed back with pride. She gingerly brought the squirrel down to the ground, letting it free. It took off in a series of graceful leaps.

"I knew it wasn't a fluke Bella! Even though you have a physical effect, it is rooted in your emotions." I pulled her to my chest, extraordinarily proud of her.

"I wasn't even thinking about healing it. I just wanted to stop its suffering." She shrugged, but smiled. Her eyes starting to brighten at the realization of her gift.

"Come on, let's go tell Carlisle, I'm sure he will want to hear." I relaxed my hold on her, but kept her hand in mine. We took off towards the house with a new vigor, excited to share the news.

When we arrived back home, everyone was home, milling about doing their usual to occupy themselves through the encroachment of nightfall. Carlisle was in his office going through some financials. I pulled Bella up the stairs and made to knock on the door to his office. "Come in"

He replied before I got my hand all the way up.

"Carlisle," I could sense the excitement in my voice, "Bella just used her powers again, deliberately. We think we understand what causes it…"

We told him of our trial and error approach, the entire time he sat pensively on the edge of his large mahogany desk. I did most of the talking, Bella was still a little beleaguered by the prospect that she had the ability to physically heal something. Before her transformation, and especially from our encounter with Aro, there was no doubt in my mind that Bella would have a gift. Now, looking back, at no time had it occurred to me what the gift would be, but I assumed it would be completely driven with her mind. Her fascinating ability to close off her mind to Aro, Jane and myself gave me no doubts about it. But in reality, it is her heart and her compassion that is her strength more than any other quality.

I knew that from the first time I spoke with her, that she had the ability to love like no other human I had ever met, or connected with through their thoughts. Most humans were capable of love, love of friends, love of spouse, but there tended to be an edge of selfishness to their thoughts on how that person that they bestowed their love upon could enhanced them as a person. I rarely had seen the ability to love, just for the sake of it, without gain. That is how Bella differed, even from myself and my family, no matter what the situation, she was completely selfless in her actions, many times at her own peril. Recollecting how many times Bella put herself in danger for someone she loved, and nearly paid the price in her life each time, made me grateful for her transformation; at the same time guilty for wanting her with me for eternity and the price she had to pay to grant me that gift.

We finished out conversation with Carlisle and returned to our room to clean up after hunting. The sun was just starting to rise over the mountains and it shone through our large window like a pink fire, warming all surfaces of the room. In that light, Bella's cheeks almost looked flushed. I reached my hand up and gently brushed her face, pushing her hair behind her ear, reveling in her beauty.

Her face lifted to meet mine, "Edward?" she whispered

"Yes love?" My eyes closed filled with the memories of her as a human and the way her blood-filled cheeks felt under my cool hand.

"Today is Billy's funeral" she paused, I looked down at her wide, innocent eyes, "I know I can't go, but I would really like to look in on Charlie, so you can hear how he is doing. Do you think that would be okay?" The pleading was evident in her voice. If we kept our distance from the house, I didn't see the harm in checking to make sure he was okay and I would check with Alice to be sure. Alice was going to stop over later, but Bella would need to see first hand how he was faring.

"I think that would be fine, but we have to keep our distance, okay?"

She nodded as her eyes lit up. She reached up on her toes and kissed my chin.

"Thank you." She said, burying her face in my chest, taking in a deep breath. I had learned that my scent to her was every bit as soothing as hers was to me. It was like aromatherapy for the soul, calming and comforting, the very essence of love.

We headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up and prepared for what was certain to be an emotionally draining day.


	10. Chapter 10

The funeral was at ten in the morning at the spiritual center on the reservation. Bella had requested that we go over to Charlie's house before he left. As we made our way to her old home, my mind was racing with concern for her. So much had happened in the last five months and she had progressed so far in her new life, what would seeing Charlie, especially under these circumstances do to her?

I led Bella up a tree a few hundred yards from the edge of the forest. I thought it best for us to be up off the ground, plus it gave Bella a clear view into the kitchen window. We sat in silence as she stared through the small, glass frame. Charlie was in his one suit, severely outdated and questionably tight. Bella was engrossed watching him move about the house preparing to leave. He sat down at the kitchen table, hanging his head down into his hands.

She turned to me, "What is he thinking?" a look of hope in her eyes, that maybe he wasn't doing as badly as she feared.

I focused my thoughts on Charlie which were transitioning all over the place, _I hate this suit…I really should get a new one, maybe the next one I will actually wear for a happy event…first Harry now this…then Bella… I miss her, her cooking, her company…this house is so quiet without her, even when she was grounded and angry was better than this…she is grown and married Charlie, _he cringed slightly at that last thought, _can't expect her to hang around the old man forever_,

"He misses you very much, but understands that you are an adult now and he knew he couldn't keep you with him forever." I relayed, sweet love in my voice.

_But this, how could she do that, how could she not come home when I needed her! Maybe I got too dependent on her. Hadn't I taught her better than to abandon her family? She hasn't even called Jacob like she promised she would! Charlie was shaking his head, brow furrowed._

"Edward, what is he thinking now, he looks angry?"

Do I tell her how upset he is when she is already tormenting herself? I can't censor his thoughts for her, I would want to know the truth if it were me in her situation.

I looked back at Bella, hesitating with being the one to break her heart further, "Edward tell me." She implored with desperation.

I hung my head down and whispered back, "He's thinking about how you let him down." I saw the words cut through her like a knife, "and how angry he is that you haven't called Jacob like you said you would." The last statement looked like it would have killed her if she weren't already dead. In an instant, Bella was on the forest floor and running full speed into the woods.

I jumped down and followed her at a distance for a few minutes. I could easily catch her if I wanted to, but surmised that she might need some time to herself. I was confident that she had enough self-control at this point to stay away from town. Like she said to Alice, I wanted to protect her from the pain, but in reality I couldn't. I could only give her my love and support when she needed it. But my heart ached that she didn't seem to need me. I made my way back to the house at a human's pace. When I walked in the door, Alice and Jasper were on the couch watching a movie.

"Hi Edward, where's Bella?" Jasper inquired since Bella and I were inseparable.

I felt the weariness on my face. Before I could respond Alice pushed herself up from Jasper's chest, he gave her a disapproving scowl at their physical separation, "Edward, she's going to be okay. She'll be back later today." I nodded in reply, silently thanking Alice for the comfort. I headed up to our room, feeling a sharpening to the dull ache that was always present when we were apart.

I scanned my CD collection for something to lose my troubled thoughts in, settling on Damien Rice. I turned it up as loud as was polite considering everyone else was home and laid on our bed absorbing the melodic guitar and soothing lyrics. Blocking out the minds of my family members, attempting to shift my thoughts to once we were over this hurdle and back to our blissful existence. I recollected my desire to speak with Carlisle about us moving back in the family. I didn't wish to put them out by having to moving again, but knew they would willingly do so if it made Bella and me happy. Esme would be thrilled at the chance to have a new project house. She had been done with our current home for some time and needed a new mission.

It had been several hours and Bella had not returned to me, but I had faith in Alice's vision that she would when she was ready. I would have been happy to wallow in my sadness and guilt until she did, but thought the time would pass more quickly if I were productive. I heard Carlisle return from work, greeting Esme in their bedroom where she was working on a painting. After giving them some private time, I would go speak with him. I had also been meaning to ask Alice if she had any visions of the Volturi coming to check on Bella's status as a human. As if able to read my thoughts, Alice appeared in my doorway.

_Edward. _ I turned to acknowledge her presence, and then motioned for her to come in. She flitted across the room as only Alice could, as if in choreographed ballet moves, and came to sit next to me on the bed.

"I was just going to come speak with you, how did you know?" I inquired, staring back up at the ceiling.

"I didn't really, but I seem to be in tune to you more than the others. I figured you could use a shoulder right now." She shrugged with a sweet smile.

"Thanks Alice. I appreciate your concern, but don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I attempted a smile in return, knowing it came nowhere near reaching my eyes.

"Edward Cullen," she scowled at me, "don't you dare blame yourself for this, for her pain. She knew what was going to happen and she is dealing with it the best she knows how. Bella doesn't need that right now, she needs the whole you!" Alice was right. I am no good to Bella wallowing in my own self-pity and guilt; all the same, I was finding it difficult to push through.

Needing to change the subject to get my mind prepared for when Bella came back, I remembered what I wanted to ask her. "Alice, have you seen any decisions by the Volturi to make us a visit, to check on Bella?"

She shook her head, "No, I haven't and I have been watching them carefully. If they are planning on it, they have been vigilant to not voice their decision. I'll let you know if I do ever see anything to be concerned with. But like you said, their version of time is different from most. It could be a years until we meet with them again, at least, we can hope." With that she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, then rose from the bed and walked out of the room.

Getting up as well, I made my way to the hall, just as I did, I heard Bella enter the house. I flew down the stairs with all my unnatural speed to meet her in the entranceway. Without saying a word I scooped her up in my arms and ran up the stairs to our bedroom, needing her alone before everyone else inundated her with their concerned words. She didn't say a word to stop me, resting her head on my shoulder and relaxed into my arms.

We sat on the leather couch for several minutes without speaking, just needing to be near each other again, dulling the pain in my heart, but not completely eradicating it until I knew she was okay. I held her as tight as I could, burying my nose on the side of her face, breathing her in.

When she finally spoke, it was barely a whisper, one that only our acute senses could hear, "I'm so sorry Edward…" I stopped her by putting my finger to her lips, her eyes going wide with alarm.

"There is nothing to be sorry for love. No words need to be said. I am here for you how ever you need and if you don't want me around, I understand that as well." In reality, that notion caused me physical pain, but I would do whatever she asked of me.

"Edward, how could you think that?" determination in her voice, "Of course I want you with me…I ran away because I…was ashamed of what I had done to my dad, my selfishness to be with you is causing him so much pain." I sensed she could see the hurt building in my eyes; was she finally realizing she regretted choosing this existence?

She spoke again before I could, "At the same time, as you know, it was never an option for me not to be with you. It would have hurt Charlie more to see me the shell of a human I was when you were gone, than to make him believe I was away at college and moving on with my life. I can't live without you, and you without me." She smiled at me, knowing it to be true. We were an absolute mess without each other.

"Yes, but I would have let you live your human life if that is what you wanted." I said in a breathy whispered, not able to look at her, knowing I was being self-indulgent voicing my perpetual insecurities.

"I know that, but it's not what I wanted then or want now. Edward, we can't keep having this conversation. As I told you that night, I have no regrets, and I hope that you still don't either." The reality of it was that it wouldn't matter if we had regrets, our decisions could not be undone, not that we even wanted them to - I didn't have regrets. I was more complete than I had ever been. At that moment I made an internal vow to never bring it up again, it only brought both of us unnecessary angst.

"Of course I don't have regrets, I am sorry for bringing it up again." Giving her a sheepish, apologetic smile. "I love you Bella."

She tilted her head up to mine and planted her sweet lips on my mouth. All my insecurities instantly washed away with her touch. I leaned into her kissing her deeply and passionately, my hands running through her soft hair. Reveling in her sweet, floral scent, thankful for this woman and her unfaltering love for me.

We headed downstairs to the living room. Alice and Jasper were once again on the couch now joined by Emmett and Rosalie. The girls had somehow convinced their men to watch a romantic movie. Little did they know all it was doing was causing Jasper and Emmett to plot what they would do with their wives once their suffering was over. I closed my mind having no desire to hear their creative, lustful thoughts.

Carlisle and Esme were still up in their room when I heard his cell phone ring. I wasn't tuned into Carlisle, but I picked up Jacob's name in the conversation and listened closer, but by that time, the exchange was coming to an end. The only thing I gathered was that it was Sam Uley calling, that in alone was extremely curious. As far as I knew, our two families had no interaction since the conclusion of the fight to end Victoria.

"I'll be right back, I need to speak with Carlisle for a moment." I whispered in her ear, leaving her seated on the floor to watch the movie with the others, hoping it would give her the same thoughts as Jasper and Emmett. I headed up the stairs to the third floor and knocked on their bedroom door. As I entered, Carlisle mind was racing.

_Edward, that was Sam, Jacob has been in a car accident and Sam thinks his injuries might be sever. He has asked that I come to the reservation to look at him, since they cannot take him to the hospital with his unusual conditions._

I nodded in understanding, "What happened?"

_He was on his way home from the funeral and hit some black ice causing him to go off the road and wrapped his car around a tree. When they got to him, it took four of the pack's boys to dislodge him from the vehicle. Sam is frantic with concern; afraid there are internal injuries that even Jacob's inherited powers cannot heal. After all, he is still human unlike us._

"Should I tell Bella? You know she will want to see him, and I'm not letting her anywhere near them in case they do decide to act on the treaty."

_No, I agree. Let me go assess the situation_. With that he gave his wife a quick kiss and rushed out of the room.

Esme turned to me with concern in her eyes, "Edward, do you really believe that those men, who protected Bella the whole time you were gone, would harm her?"

"I honestly don't know, but I do know that even with Sam's years of practice, he still could lose control. If any of them were upset enough…" I ran my fingers through my hair and continued, "I know that Bella is a lot less fragile now, but if they wanted to they could still harm her. That is their werewolf form's soul purpose, to kill vampires."

Esme nodded in agreement, but I could tell she didn't really believe they would start a war over Bella's transformation, knowing the circumstances. I hoped she was right, but I didn't plan on ever taking the chance to find out.

When I returned to the living room, everyone's eyes turned to mine. "Where was Carlisle off to in such a hurry?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not sure, he got a call, assuming a hospital emergency." I tried to keep the concern out of my voice but must not have been entirely successful as Alice gave me a knowing look. I took my place next to Bella on the floor and tried to concentrate on the dreadful movie.

A half hour passed and there was not a word from Carlisle. I was beginning to relax with the thought that Jacob's injuries weren't as sever as Sam initially thought.

Esme walked into the living room where we were all comfortably sprawled, I could see her contentment with having all of her "children" home. She called to me in her thoughts and asked me to meet her in the kitchen.

In barely a whisper she said, "Edward, Carlisle just called and it's not good. There is not much he can do for him without taking him to the hospital and performing surgery. He has damage to multiple organs and internal bleeding. Carlisle has him comfortable with pain medicine, but is unable to do anything further at the house. I know you are concerned about her safety, but don't you think Bella would want to say good-bye if it comes to that?"

I was so wrapped up in what Esme was saying that I hadn't noticed Bella at the entrance to the kitchen. Just as she finished speaking, Esme looked over my shoulder at Bella. I whipped around, my eyes wide. I hadn't even had a chance to figure out how to best handle the situation.

"Edward, what's going on? Who's hurt and why don't you want me to know about it?" Her voice was rising with panic.

I walked over and put my hands on Bella's beautiful face, her eyes were anguished with the unknown. I was going to have to tell her, but I couldn't let her go there. We had fought too hard to keep her transition a secret. "Bella, it's Jacob, he's been in a car accident. Carlisle is with him now at Sam's house." I refrained from telling her the extent of his injuries.

"What aren't you telling me? Why were you talking about saying good-bye? How bad is it Edward?" she was bordering on hysterical, she reached up and put her hands on my forearms, trying to pull them away from her face. I pulled her to my chest, her grasp still struggling against me.

"It's not good love. He needs surgery, but with his increased body temperature and ability to heal quickly, Carlisle cannot take him to the hospital, someone would get suspicious."

"I am going to see him then!" She said firmly, pushing against my chest with all her newborn strength, sending me back a few steps.

"No Bella, you can't do that, especially with all of his brothers there. This is definitely not the time to test their tolerance for your change." I said with love, but finality in my voice, extending my arms back out to her.

"Edward Cullen! What if I can help him? I don't care if every family member has to come with me, I am going to La Push!" There was fire in her eyes, and her hands were in fists at her sides. I knew Bella well enough that if she wanted to do something, whether I approved or not, she was going to find a way to do it. She was the most stubborn being I had ever encountered.

I hung my head, pinching the bridge of my nose as if a migraine was coming on. I couldn't even ask Alice if everything would go peacefully, once we crossed the reservation line, her vision was cloudy at best, and void if we were with members of the pack.

I didn't honestly believe that we required the whole family. Carlisle and I would suffice, not wanting to agitate them by appearing overly protective. I gave in. I could not deal with the alternative. "I will call Carlisle and let him know we are coming. He can also let the Quileute boys know the situation so they have time to work through it before we get there. But, there is one condition" I said raising an index finger, "If any of them appear at all combative, we are leaving immediately, no questions asked. The last thing any of us want is a battle while everyone is already on their last nerve."

She nodded, "Okay, that seems fair. " She said, unballing her fists, the tension not leaving her face. "Thank you."

"You are welcome, plus I know am better off just giving in than letting you scheme on your own." I looked down at her with a knowing smile, she finally allowed me to pull her back into my embrace. She reached up to kiss my lips. I could feel the sadness in her touch.

I turned to Esme, "I think it would be best if you did not tell the rest of the family where we are going. I know that Emmett will want to come to back us up, and I don't believe his presence will help the situation if the goal is to keep the peace. We will let you know if that changes." She nodded in understanding, "Be careful, and I will call Carlisle while you are on your way."

With that we were in the garage getting in the Volvo. During the drive to the reservation Bella was bouncing off of her seat. I wasn't able to conclude if it was her nerves from the anticipation of seeing her old friends, what their reaction would be, or her concern for Jacob or both. Times like these I very much wished I had access to her thoughts.

As we pulled up to Sam and Emily's house, Carlisle met us on the porch. He looked aged for his normally young appearance and he had blood on this clothes. Bella saw it and immediately became frantic.

"Edward, I have spoken with Sam about the situation. He agrees that now is not the time to make any rash decisions concerning the treaty. Since we have shown good faith and are not presenting a united front with our family, he has conceded to sending some of his brother's home. Especially the more volatile ones such as Paul." He paused and took in a deep breath as he turned to Bella. "Bella, I want to prepare you, Jacob's condition is not good. As you can imagine it would be difficult for me to bring him to the hospital, but he needs surgery. I have given him sufficient pain medicine and he is not coherent."

"Thank you Carlisle," she replied, trying to calm her nerves with a deep breath of her own.

Before we went in the house, I pulled Bella back, "Bella, I am going to keep a hand on you, not because I am being your jailor, but as you can see, there is blood. The first sign I see of you losing control, I will extract you from the house with all my force." She nodded with heartbreaking understanding, "It helps if you don't breath," I added before we entered. With that I heard her stop her inhale.

As we went into the house, Sam and Emily were in the kitchen, they gave us a weak smile, and Emily's eyes were red from tears. Sam's face had the same controlled, impassive expression he always wore around members of my family. Bella looked up at them, I could see the shift in their expressions. Even in the dim light, they could easily see the changes in Bella's features and the new grace of her gait. Off to the left on the couch was one of Jacob's pack members, Embry. He briefly looked up at us. He was doing a reasonably good job at controlling his anger, but was definitely upset that we had broken the treaty.

At the kitchen table was a young woman, she was dark-skinned with black hair as well. She had a delicate heart-shaped face and full lips. I would have guessed she was around seventeen. She didn't look up at us when we entered. She was staring down at the hands in her lap. I instantly picked up on the distress in her thoughts.

I_ just met him, how could this have happened? It felt like my life was finally beginning, my Jacob. What will I do if he doesn't pulls through, what will I do? I feel so useless just sitting here. _Her thoughts were full of pain and angst. It didn't slip my attention that she said "my Jacob."

Carlisle was leading us to the back of the small house where the bedrooms were located. I held Bella tightly around the waist. Although there had been blood on Carlisle's clothes, they had cleaned up Jacob. His large frame completely covering the bed, feet hanging well off of the end. He had deep bruises on his face and one of his eyes was swollen, but had no other physical signs of his injuries. He was asleep.

Carlisle turned to us in a low tone, "He has several broken bones, and those are already healing themselves well. The concern is the internal bleeding. It has slowed, but not entirely ceased. I am not certain how or if his body is able to heal his organs. I have already prepared Sam and the rest, including Sarah that tonight will be the true test."

Bella's voice broke as she spoke, "Who's Sarah? Is that the girl sitting in the kitchen?"

Carlisle gave me a concerned look, but proceeded with answering her question, "Sarah is Jacob's girlfriend. He imprinted on her last week. She has been at his side the entire day."

"Oh…" was all Bella said in response. Even given our earlier conversation my mind began reeling with doubt. Before I let myself once again get lost in my own internal destruction, I felt Bella moving forward under my hold. I pulled her back to me, "Bella, are you in control?" I whispered. She looked up at me, sorrow in her eyes, and simply nodded her head in affirmation, then moved forward to Jacob's side.

_I__s she okay son, will she lose control?_ Carlisle directed at me. I shook my head, confident in my wife and her strength.

Both Carlisle and I sat with baited breath to see what she did next. Neither of us had acknowledged it, but were overwrought with curiosity to see if Bella's gift worked in this type of situation, on a human with such sever injuries. As she knelt at his side, I kept my hand on her shoulder for reassurance. Bella slowly hovered her hand over his arm, up to his face, tracing the curves with her index finger, but never making contact. Her other hand traced the lines of his torso. His breathing was shallow and skin pale. She bowed her head as if in prayer as she finally laid her delicate hand in the middle of his broad chest.

An immeasurable amount of moments passed, we were all holding our breath in anticipation, but nothing seemed to happen. Bella stayed still still as a stone sculpture. I was about to speak, to reassure her, she had just learned of this gift and to put it to this type of test but then I felt the same wave of electricity pass under my hand where I made contact with her shoulder. This was not the same level of shock as before, this jolted through my entire body like a fire. As if being silently hit by lightning.

Bella had not moved, but the hand resting on his chest began to move up and down with greater measure from his deeper breaths. The color seemed to instantly return, erasing the pallor of his complexion and his eyes began to flutter in awareness. Carlisle looked over at me with complete astonishment. Bella stayed at his side, while Carlisle reached his stethoscope to the location of Jacob's heart.

"It is much stronger now." He smiled at me, eyes still wide, as he moved around to continue examining him. I had learned long ago that it took a great deal to shake Carlisle from his consistently calm demeanor, and this was one of those instances.

Jacob began to move slightly, it appeared that he was attempting to bring his hand to his face. That's when I looked at his face again and saw that the bruises were already fading to a yellowish-green hue. He opened his eyes and turned his head to where Bella was, her gaze now raised, silently watching him. Once he comprehended who it was at his side, his eyes went wide with confusion and a flick of anger. His thoughts revealed he had expected to see his Sarah.

He cleared his throat to speak, Carlisle stopped him, "Jacob, please don't speak, you are still weak." But he didn't listen to him. Just in observation I could see he was getting stronger by the minute.

"He changed you." He whispered in a statement, not a question, to Bella, "I knew it was coming, so I'm not surprised, just to see you here. Didn't expect that." He tried to give a sarcastic smile. Bella gave a sweet but sad smile in return.

Judging from the floodgate that had opened on his thoughts once he was released from his comatose state, he truly wasn't upset about Bella's change, but all the same it hurt to see her as one of us. He didn't know that Bella had just saved his life. He desperately wanted to see his Sarah. Her name was repeating like a mantra though his mind. I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Bella rose from the side of the bed, to take my hand.

Jacob's Sarah came through the door and upon seeing he was awake, burst in to tears and threw herself on to his chest. He let out a low laugh and put an arm around her. "You can't get rid of me that easily," he whispered to her as she kissed his face. We turned to leave the room, feeling our continued presence inappropriate. Sam was coming down the narrow hall, filling the entire space.

"Is he awake, did I just hear Jake?" he asked, trying to keep his stoic composure, but his shock was getting the best of him.

"Yes, he just woke up." Carlisle smiled, " I believe he is going to be okay, but he needs to stay in bed to regain his strength, and no phasing for awhile," returning to his physician's tone.

"But, I don't understand, not two hours ago you weren't sure he was going to make it?"

Carlisle turned to proudly look at Bella, she had not said a word, I was certain she was still holding her breath, "Our young Bella has discovered she has the gift of healing." Sam looked at her in amazed bewilderment. "Thank you." He said with heartfelt sincerity, looking at all three of us.

We started to head to the main living area to leave and Sam said, "Carlisle, there is no need to speak of the broken treaty. We have no intention of acting on it, but the lines still hold true." Carlisle gave him a nod of understanding and we left the house.


	11. Chapter 11

The first few minutes of the car ride home was endured in silence, with an unexplainable tension. Bella had taken a few deep breaths when we left the house to clear her senses and was now gazing out the car window as the night began to fall thickly upon us. I reached over for her hand on her lap and took it in mine, bringing it to my lips to kiss it. As I did, she turned to look at me with a soft smile, weariness in her eyes.

I was driving at a near human pace, lost in reflection. I was still in shock at what she had done, it was incredible, her strength, her focus so early into realizing this gift. But, she was contemplative for some reason.

"Love?"

"Hmm," I could see how tired she was. An unusual state for our kind. "I am incredibly proud of you. The fact that you are able to control and focus your ability within just days of learning of it is astounding. None of us were able to so early."

"Thanks Edward. I'm still not sure how I did it, but it felt good to be the one helping for once." Her lips curved up, not quite making it into a smile, having a hint of sadness. "I feel incredibly drained by it though. I think I will need to hunt in the morning." she looked down at her free hand that lay in her lap.

"Can I ask you something?" Now that it was over and she was okay, I was consumed by curiosity. What had she experienced? From Carlisle and my perspective, it was as if nothing happened, other than the jolt of electricity that flowed from her to me.

Her eyes rose again to meet mine, I saw only a deep love in them, "Anything."

I wasn't quite sure how to phrase it other than to be direct. "What does it feel like? I mean it doesn't seem as thought it was as entirely conscious act. Why did you run your hands over his body before you touch it? "

She was pensive for a moment, I imagine piecing together her account so I could understand. Much the same way I had explained to her how it felt to hear people's thoughts. "You are right, it is not entirely a conscious act, but like we discovered I have to want to heal, to make the decision, to want their pain to stop. When I hovered my hands over Jacob's body, I could feel where he was injured. There was a decrease in the energy of that particular area. It felt like a…reverse pressure almost. When I finally touched him, all I was thinking about at that moment was that I wanted him to live for Sarah. That she didn't need to feel that kind of pain, to lose the love of her life. Then the energy somehow passed from me to him. I felt his body absorb and disperse it." She smiled, slightly befuddled herself.

"Yes, I felt the energy as well, it was much stronger this time. Like being struck by lightening. I dare to say that if a human were touching you at that moment, you would harm or possibly even kill them."

She had returned her gaze out the window. I was starting to get worried that her melancholy mood was not entirely from her physical state. "Bella, I have to ask you this, and please don't get upset with me, but I need to know what is going on inside your head right now. You are obviously troubled for some reason…" I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pants pocket. I pulled it out and recognized the number immediately.

"I believe this is for you." I solemnly said handing the phone to her. She looked back at me with confusion until she saw the caller ID on the front display of the phone.

"Hello." She answered.

"Hi Bella, it's Jacob." I heard through the phone. His voice was still crackly from the stress of the day. I am certain it felt like a very bad day for him, most likely his worst. First burying his father, to a nearly fatal car accident and ending with seeing that his first love has been changed into a vampire, his kinds' mortal enemy. At that moment I felt rather sorry for him.

"Hi Jake, how are you feeling?" she said with concern in her voice.

"That's not why I am calling, but I'm okay thanks, much better, still sore. Bella…I had no idea that you…healed me, Sam just told me. I didn't even know that something like that was possible, but I guess I shouldn't ever doubt the mysteries of the world after all we've seen. I didn't get a chance to talk with you. I don't even know what to say other than…thank you," earnestness in his voice.

"You are very welcome. I figured it was the least I could do since I was the once that broke you in the first place," Bella responded with a light laugh, but there was a glimpse of pain in her eyes.

"I have to admit, it was a shock to see you, when I woke up, but then relieved that you were okay, I mean that he didn't kill you. I never thought I would say this, but I am not angry anymore that you chose him; I always knew he was like a drug to you. I can see now that it is how it was meant to be, and from what I saw you seem happy. Ironically enough, your decision...it saved my life." He said with a low, deep, chuckle

"I _am_ very happy Jacob. I truly am." Bella smiled into the phone, the conversation lightening

He continued, "Did you get a chance to talk with Sarah?" his voice brightening at the mention of her name.

"No, I didn't. She seems lovely though. She was very worried about you." Bella paused, "I'm glad you found her Jake."

"Me too! I had come to terms that I would be one of the few that didn't find their "one", I mean I thought I had, but now see why it couldn't work out, but you know how that goes," I could hear somberness in his words, "so I was completely surprised when I ran into her a couple of weeks ago. I was in such a miserable state still, even worse being back home. She was in town visiting one of Paul's cousins and it was instant." I could hear a grin in this words, "We have been practically inseparable ever since. Luckily she wasn't riding with me when the accident happened." His voice dropped to a whisper, "If I barely made it out alive…" he stopped and took a in a swift breath.

"It was really good to see you Jacob. You stay out of trouble." She said, knowing that this was finally giving closure to both of them, sealing up the small fissure that had struck her heart only months ago, but seemed like a lifetime.

"You too Bella, you take care of yourself." With that he hung up the phone.

"I'm sorry Edward, what were you saying before he called?" she smiled, taking my hand in hers. We were nearly home, but I needed to clear the air before we replayed the evening for everyone.

My heart didn't want to know the answer to my question, but it would consume me if I didn't ask. "Bella, did seeing the fact that Jacob has moved on, upset you, make you wish it were you?" My voice dropped to a murmur at the end.

She looked away from me, seeming to decide how she was going to answer, then she tightened her grip on my hand and brought it to her lips, I felt a tingle where her skin made contact with mine, our eyes locked and I saw love pouring out of hers, "On the contrary, it made me love and want you more."

A coy smile spread across her lips as she continued. "It made me see how we truly are meant to be together, to even further solidify my choice, not that I _ever_ had any doubt, or choice." She said quickly before I could contradict her. "I feel reminiscent to the days when we first met, and every touch was new, the exploration of each other. The way you _dazzled _me to the point of fainting." She chuckled. "I know it sounds strange that seeing them together would make me feel that way, but it did. I love you Edward, I always have and I always will."

"I love you too Bella." I whispered back with a silly grin on my face, absorbing her loving words, internally reprimanding myself for ever doubting her.

"Now, what I want more than anything," she beamed at me, a sparkle in her eye, "Is to be alone with my husband. Today is the day that would never end, and I know only you can make it all go away." I reached up to caress her face and stepped on the gas pedal. She let out a light laugh; it was like a melodic kiss to my ears. It seemed like a long time since I had heard it.

As we pulled up to the house, my thoughts were pleasantly drifting to what I was about to do to my wife to make our day be long forgotten. It seemed like an eternity since we had been truly alone enough to really share ourselves with each other, though in reality it had been less than a week. Just as I pulled the Volvo into the garage I was barraged with blaring thoughts from my family.

_Edward, they're here, Jane and Felix, I didn't know, I never saw it. It's going to be okay so don't overreact! _Alice yelled to me

_Edward, I don't believe they mean to cause us any harm, they are just checking on the status of Bella. Do not tell them about her gift. I doubt Aro would find it useful, but we cannot chance it._ Carlisle thoughts overpowered everyone else's.

I turned to Bella. She was oblivious to the tension raging inside the house. I put my hand on hers as she went to unlatch her seatbelt, a habit she hadn't dropped from her human life, "Bella, we are going to have to postpone our time alone for just a little while," her mouth fell into an adorable pout. "Why?" she replied incredulously.

"Because Jane and Felix are inside the house with everyone. They have come to check on you."

I tried to keep the strain out of my voice, to keep her calm, but she saw the concern in my eyes. I felt panicked for a moment, as her eyes grew wider. I couldn't take even the thought of then trying to harm her. I was desperate to protect her. I knew it would do no good to run, they would never stop until they tracked us down. Hopefully Carlisle's thoughts were right, they didn't mean to harm us.

I reached over and fervently pulled her lips to mine, breathing in her heady scent, letting all of my love for her through our connection. I clung on to her like a person drowning in open water does to the one buoyant object within reach. Her hands were twisted in my hair. I was completely lost in her, the awaiting stress washed away, when I heard it. _Edward, it is not the time for that when you have guests to attend to. _Jane's childlike voice ripped through my lusty thoughts like a chainsaw.

I looked up to see her standing on the passenger side of the car. I pulled myself away from Bella. She looked at me in confusion, but followed my spite-filled gaze over her shoulder to Jane's cloaked figure.

"It's going to be okay," I reassured Bella with as much confidence as I could muster.

Bella and I got out of the car in silence and followed Jane back inside the house. When we entered the front door, everyone was sitting quietly in the living room. Felix was glaring at Emmett, waiting for Emmett's control to crack so that he would have reason to use force on him. Emmett did look upset, but his thoughts were only on his wife and protecting her. He had no intention of lashing out unless absolutely necessary.

_I'm so sorry I didn't see it. __Edward, I was able to tell everyone that they don't mean any harm, before they arrived. Let's get this over with so they can go back to the hellish place they came from. _Alice didn't even look at me, not wanting to set them off to our private conversation. She pushed her small body closer to Jasper's. Carlisle and him were completely impassive, the best at controlling their emotions, from their centuries of practice. Jasper was sending out waves of calm.

I was fighting my instinct to instigate a fight, just on the principal of them coming here unannounced. But, I knew better. There was only one of us here that was impervious to Jane's power; the rest would suffer immensely if I acted out. I decided I would be the spokesperson since I had the most amount of experience with Jane and Felix, and my wife was the reason they were here.

"What can we do for you Jane, Felix?" I asked in an overly courteous tone, bordering on condescending, as I nodded to both of them in acknowledgment. I held Bella tight to my side.

"First of all, I would like to thank you for making this so convenient for us. I assumed you would no longer be with your family and we would be required to track you down. You've made my job much easier by your ludicrous love for each other." She said with disgust in her voice, pausing then continued, "You know why we are here Edward." Jane smiled coyly

"Yes, I believe I do and as you can see Bella is no longer human, therefore your mission is accomplished. We wish you a safe trip home." I said starting to motion my free hand towards the door.

"You don't think we are going to leave that quickly, after such a long journey?" she said with an evil snicker, she looked up at Felix briefly who was like a statue in the corner of the room. "We may have quenched Aro's curiosity by confirming Bella's change, but I have _my_ _own_ reasons for traveling this far."

I knew where this was going. Jane's pride was severely wounded when her powers of mind manipulation did not work on Bella. She was going to demand to try again. I knew in my heart that she still would not have power over Bella, after all, I still could not hear her thoughts, but my anger was starting to boil over.

_Edward, calm yourself. Bella will be fine._ Carlisle sternly said to me. I looked down at Bella, her arm tightly wrapped around my waist, and was amazed that I did not see any trace of fear in her face. She was gazing patronizingly at Jane.

It all happened within less than a second. Without a word, Jane turned on Bella and let the full force of her torturous glower meet her. I pulled Bella closer to me, when she started to shake and whimper in pain, she fell to her knees. Everyone took a gasp of air, no one thought she would be affected.

Jane had a sinister smirk of triumph. I wanted to rip it off her child-like face. But somehow I resisted and reached down to pick Bella up, when she suddenly jumped up to a confident stance, her hand on her hip and a wicked smirk on her angelic face. Jane's eyes went wide with disbelief and shock. It was obvious wasn't done with her hate-filled actions.

"Sorry Jane, you still don't have me." Bella said in a sweet apologetic voice, with a hint of defiance. A light growl reverberating from her throat that I'm certain only I could hear. I hastily pulled Bella back to me letting a growl out of my own, waiting for Jane to lash out, but she seemed to be too stunned to retaliate. She looked as if she could murder all of us with her eyes alone. Carlisle took the lapse in her concentration to stand up and speak, authority in his voice. "Thank you for coming to visit, I believe you have found the answers you were seeking. Please give my regards to Aro."

Felix glanced over at Jane for instructions. I could hear her mind was flying with indecision, working through various scenarios. Aro had specifically instructed her to not use her power on us unless we initiated force. He still clung to the notion that one day Alice and I, and possibly Bella would want to join his guard, make a contribution to their world with our gifts. It was not possible for Jane or Felix to hide their actions from him either. His ability to extract memories with physical contact was incomparably strong. I knew from experience the way he purposefully explored every memory in my head as if leafing through an encyclopedia, only stopping on the subjects of great interest.

Felix spoke up for the first time, startling all of us a bit, "Does she have a gift?" he said without looking at Bella, boredom instead of curiosity in his voice, as if she wasn't in the room. I would imagine he still regarded her as a useless human.

I was praying that everyone would comprehend the need for me to lie in this situation and not react. Although the Volturi would most likely see Bella's gift as useless, like Jasper's, I could not chance it.

"No, she's just an ordinary vampire." I smiled down at her as I said it, the irony of the statement not escaping anyone.

"Come Felix, we have a long journey home and I'm thirsty." Jane said, her tone that of a bratty child who didn't get their way. She had thrown in that latter comment to upset us. There was nothing we could do nothing to stop them from taking human lives if they so choose. Sadly, I didn't care at the moment. My only concern was for their departure.

With that Felix and Jane turned on their heals and headed for the door and were lost into the moonless night. I instantly yanked Bella to my chest, holding her tight for several moments. I put my lips to her ear, "You know love, that was incredibly…reckless. Strangely, it makes me want to take you right here." The lust was rolling off my tongue. She shivered in my arms. She pulled back just enough to gaze into my coal-colored eyes, the sign of desire was mirrored in hers. Without acknowledging our family, I swiftly scooped her up in my arms and fled to our bedroom.

Before we even made contact with the bed, my lips were feverishly exploring hers. We knelt on the bed facing each other, her arms grasping at my back; my stone hands on her glorious, porcelain face. I pushed her hair from her neck and buried my lips behind her ear, taking in her scent, letting it fill me and erase the angst of the day. I realized if I felt drained, she must feel even worse. I let out a breathy whisper in her ear, "you okay love, it's been a long day."

She retracted back and stared at me with a slight scowl, "I'm fine. I just want you. I _need_ you," thick desire in her voice. With that we crushed our lips together once again, I let the tip of my cool tongue gently explore her mouth, she groaned into me and pulled me harder against her, feeling my arousal. Reaching up for the buttons on my shirt, she started to undo the top one, but in one swift movement ripped it off my torso and flung it to the floor. My desire for her increased ten fold at her palpable want for me. I felt like I couldn't make enough contact with her smooth skin. I pulled her t-shirt over her head, put my hand around her thin waist and roller her on top of me as she straddled my hips. At our skins' points of contact there was prickling pleasure radiating out. My hands were buried in her silken hair as I greedily explored the curve of her neck with my lip, my tongue, my teeth, down her shoulder. She let out small whimpers of pleasure as she ran her hand over the planes of my chest, sending waves of delight through my body.

I led my hand down her back and unclasped her bra as she let her fingers dance around my neck. She quickly wiggled free, letting her breasts settle in sensual contact with my chest, feeling their excitement. I swiftly rolled my body on top of hers, relishing the ability to be free with my movements, to lose myself with her. No worry of harming her. I reached my hand and let my fingers linger around her naval before I undid the button on her jeans. She arched up her hips to help me pull to them off, throwing them across the room with a thud to the wall. Once standing, I unfastened my pants as well, letting them drop to the floor.

I took a moment to gaze at her figure sensually sprawled on our bed, one hand on her toned stomach, and the other grazing her almost flushed cheek, her hair spread around her on the pillow. The mere sight of her naked body took my breath away. She was indescribably beautiful, perfect in every way. She was my goddess. I saw a mixture of deep hunger and anticipation in her eyes. I was in no hurry to see this union end. I thought devilishly, she was going to have to ask for it.

I took her ankle in my one hand and brought it to my lips, making swirls with my chilled tongue on her silky skin. My other hand explored up her body to grasp her waist, then cupped her breast causing her back to arch. I continued very slowly creeping up one leg and down the other, glancing up at her to see her eyes full of a painful desire. She attempted to pull me too her, and I pinned her hands at her side with my strong grasp. She didn't fight me; she only gave me a coy grin. I kept her arms at her side and continued my oral exploration of her body, taking in every sweet drop of her. She let our small moans that made me grin against her flesh, nibbling her with my razor sharp teeth.

I flipped her over on her back and worked my way up her torso, straddling her hips, feeling my manhood graze her, making me gasp from the building pressure. I leaned over and unrelentingly kissed her back and shoulders up to her ear and hair, my body absorbing her scent like a dry sponge. "Please Edward…I need to feel you…inside me." She whimpered, her body trembling with yearning.

Hearing that, I could no longer control my consuming desire for her. I required the same. I slowly reached underneath her and led my hand to fondle her breast, the other pinning her arms above her head on the pillow, and then gently let myself move into her. We both let out a raspy moan at the pressure-filled connection as I began to rock into her. The way she held me was indescribable. Even after months of our coupling, I find it inconceivable that I existed for over a hundred years without experience this; I could not imagine how I lived without this level of physical connection. Not just for the unadulterated pleasure, but the way it melded us together as if we were one being, moving in a choreographed dance.

I was overwhelmed with the need to gaze at her magnificent face, to lock her desired-filled eyes with mine. I rolled her over, pulling her small frame onto my lap. She locking her legs firmly behind me, our bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces, as only two lovers could. She ran her hands through my tousled locks, causing my eyes to close in delight. She let her lips trace the lines of my mouth, moaning into me. I clawed at her back, pulling her deeper to me, the internal tension building like a runaway forest fire. The surrounding room seeming to blur as if we were in a heavy snowstorm, only being able to see what is right in front of us, each other, nothing else mattered. Limbs and lips intertwined, our bodies moved in smooth rhythm with our exuding desires, breaths becoming raspy and quick, until the waves of climax crashed over us. Bella let out a guttural whimper into my shoulder as I felt her tighten onto me. My need for air becoming desperate. The waves of heat washing through me, feeling the pressure release in me, as I grasped at her face and hair, frantic to feel and touch her in every way. We slowed, exhaling onto each other's skin, sending chills, still clinging urgently to one another. If we were still able to sleep, I would have stayed there until unconscious, our bodies connected in the most primordial of ways.

"Thank you Edward," she mumbled in a seductive purr onto the skin at my neck.

"You are very welcome, love. Anytime," I smiled into her hair, my eyes still closed, the most at peace I had felt in days.


	12. Chapter 12

The dawn came and we were still intimately entwined, as close to sleep as we could be in this existence. The pink rays of the sun shone through the large window of our bedroom causing our bare skin take on a pink glow, almost as if there were blood still flowing just underneath, through our cold veins. For a split second I closed my eyes and gave in to the idea of Bella and I being human together, her baring our children, to watch them grow, to grow old with her, to die with her. And then, just as quickly, it was gone, as the angle of the sun became more direct to reveal the unnatural iridescence of our skin, leaving no doubt that we were very far from human.

Having put the past few bleak days behind us, I was ready to look ahead. I knew we were not entirely whole without our family and having come to that realization, I wanted to initiate the next step.

"Bella, love," I whispered into her hair, her eyes were closed as she nuzzled into my shoulder, pulling my torso closer to her. I eagerly responded to her awakening touch, stroking her cheek with my thumb, letting my hands run through the length of her hair.

"Edward…I would really love to…again," a sly grin came across her face as she slowly opened her eyes, "But I have got to hunt first."

I chuckled at her insatiable thirst for me. I thought that traditionally the male in the relationship had that problem, if you could call it that. Another way that Bell exceeds my expectations.

"That isn't what I was going to ask, but would be happy to oblige on both accounts," I felt my lips go into that silly crooked grin she loved so much.

"Oh, well, what was it you were going to ask then." She seemed a little taken aback that that my mind didn't seem to follow the same lustful thoughts that hers did. Oh, if she only knew! Since we had been married, and even before, it was almost all I could think about.

"Don't get me wrong, I was thinking that too. But there is something that I have been meaning to talk with you about ever since we came back to Forks." She pushed on my chest to straighten herself up therefore looking me in the eyes. She wore a look of concern.

"It's nothing to be worried about." I said before she let her imagination ramp up. "It's good, at least I think, but of course want to know what you think." I paused letting her see that I wasn't worried about anything in the least. I already knew she would be in favor, thanks to Alice.

"Since we have been reunited with everyone, our family, I have seen a light in you that I haven't seen since we have been in Alaska. You are doing exceptionally well with controlling your instincts, better than anyone thought possible." I took a deep breath in, and studied her face for a moment, she hadn't determined where this was going. "I want you to be as happy and fulfilled as possible. I know that although I want to, I can't fulfill every one of your emotional needs, like Alice and Esme can. With that said, what would you think about moving back in with the family, I mean we will have to move…" she cut me off by firmly placing her lips on mine.

"That would be wonderful Edward." She beamed. "I noticed that change in you too since we have been home, but didn't want to say anything. I felt terrible that I wasn't the one making you feel that way and I know you have missed your brothers very much. I guess I'll admit I really have missed female companionship." Her smile fading a bit at her revelation.

"Please don't feel that way love, I wasn't unhappy at all in Alaska. It has taken me a century of existence to realize that each person in our lives adds a little piece to make us whole, though you alone account for most of my happiness." I lovingly gazed at her while I spoke, wrapping my finger around a strand of her hair. "We are blessed with an amazing family, especially considering the life we lead, and are lucky they love both of us so much. Don't ever feel bad that you love and need them as much as they do you." I reassured her, brushing the tips of my fingers along her jaw line causing an involuntarily chill to run through her.

"Do you think that everyone will be okay with moving? I hate to put them out." Her brow furrowed slightly at the idea of upsetting anyone.

"I am sure everyone will be more than okay with moving. We have been in Forks longer than any other place. Alice and Jasper have been bored not being in school and I am certain Esme is ready for a new project." I hadn't had a chance to speak with Carlisle about it yet with all of unexpected events yesterday, but Alice's visions assured me that everyone would be on board, even Rosalie. I am sure there will be stipulations, as there always were, but we have yet to find a town we couldn't all agree on.

Bella was looking at me, trying to fight the grin from taking over her face. I put my hands on her face and pulled her to me, brushing her lips with mine.

"It doesn't take much to make you happy, does it?" I whispered into her mouth.

"Not as long as I'm with you," as she formed her lips around mine.

"Well let's take you hunting so we can get back and talk with everyone." And with that we finally relinquished our embrace and got dressed. We swiftly headed out into the woods and within five minutes came across a herd of deer. With no desire to prolong this trip, we hastily fed and within an hour were back in the living room.

Bella moved over to the couch as I went into the entranceway to call to everyone. Within moments, our family was heading downstairs to join us. I returned to Bella on the couch and lifted her onto my lap to make room for the others.

Emmett, as usual, was the first to speak up, "So what is this all about? By the way Bella, that was fantastic how you showed up Jane. I mean, if she had decided to torture us all, I probably wouldn't have been as entertained, but since she didn't, nice job!" he grinned at her like a the proud big-brother he was.

"Thanks Emmett. I don't know what came over me, " she innocently shrugged her shoulders, "I just couldn't stand to let her think she was better than me, than my family."

"I agree with Emmett, I certainly would not have encouraged your boldness Bella, but since it ended well, it was nice to see the look on Jane's face." Carlisle mused. Esme nodded her head in agreement and Emmett was going on about how it would have been great to fight Felix.

Jasper spoke up, he had been sitting quietly with Alice, his soothing, calm voice shushed everyone instantly. "Bella, Carlisle told us what you did for Jacob Black. It's really incredible, your gift." I could hear the admiration in his voice.

"Thank you Jasper. I feel quite lucky to have this...ability. I only hope that I am able use it as it was intended, to help, unlike what the Volturi use their gifts for." Bella smiled modestly.

"I believe you already have dear." Esme beamed at her. Everyone's thoughts agreed with Esme, except for Rosalie's. She was thinking she wouldn't have bothered to save the mangy dog if it had been her choice. There were many times over the years that I had been thankful that Rose had not taken a liking to me, like Carlisle had wished when he changed her. This was definitely one of those times.

"So, Edward," Alice turned her devilish gaze on me, "Why did you gather the whole family here? What's going on?" I shot her back a brotherly glower.

I took a deep breath, I wasn't sure why I was nervous, but I was. I was once again asking my family to be inconvenienced by Bella and me. After all they had done for us it didn't seem right, but I also knew they would have it no other way.

"Well…Bella and I have been talking," I looked at her and she gave me an encouraging smile back, "and although we are happy in Alaska, we both miss everyone very much. We have had our time alone and Bella is adjusting amazing well, as you all know. I guess what I am getting at is, we would like to move back in with everyone. I know that means we would need to relocate again and…" Carlisle cut me off suddenly.

"That is wonderful news Edward. We would be delighted to have you and Bella back with us. And don't worry about the move, we have been ready for some time, but just haven't had the motivation. I am sure you have made your mother very happy." He lovingly looked over at his wife.

"It's true. I've been lost without my whole family and am in desperate need of a new focus. Finding a new home for our family is a perfect project." Esme smiled. I knew out of everyone she would be the most delighted with our decision.

Alice was clapping her hands in delight. She had missed Bella very much and I had to admit I missed Alice's delightful enthusiasm. She was the rare little diamond of our family.

I looked at Jasper to gather his thoughts. _You know I am fine with wherever we live, as long as Alice is there. Plus it hasn't been nearly as much fun messing with Emmett since you have been gone. _I gave him a knowing smirk in acknowledgement.

Rosalie hadn't said a word and when I scanned her thoughts, for once she wasn't thinking of putting up too much of stink over something involving Bella and I.

"Don't worry Rose, we won't move anyplace too far from a reputable mall." She gave me a condescending glance back, but I knew that was her main concern. That, and Emmett, consumed the majority of her thoughts.

We spent the rest of the morning discussing possible locations. I suggested somewhere in the Adirondack Park in northern New York State. There was over a million acres of land with abundance of wildlife and to Emmett's liking; they had a sizable bear population. There were more overcast days than not and we were certain to find a home with privacy, considering most of the homes in the area were seasonal. Carlisle said he would start putting calls into some of his contacts to see about openings at hospitals in the area.

Bella and I would need to return to our house in Alaska to pack our things. It was funny how although the little cabin was the first place we lived together, as husband and wife; it didn't feel nearly as special as this house did. Forks would forever be where my life began.

Over the next few days there was an excitement in the air for the move. Esme had expeditiously located a home in Dannemora, NY that looked promising and she was flying out this afternoon to meet with the realtor tomorrow. Carlisle heard through one of his connections that there was an opening at the hospital in Plattsburgh, a slightly larger town about fifteen miles east, situated on Lake Champlain.

Emmett, Jasper and I had picked up where we left off in the competitive arena. I repeatedly beat Emmett in Xbox and Playstation games; his strength was of no use to the little controller, of which he had broken one a day, and I had immeasurably quicker reflexes. Most of the time the competitions ended in wrestling matches, and invariably we would break something in the room. Generally I beat Emmett, not without a fight, but his sheer brawn caused him to navigate around much less agilely than me. And, he tended to not have very sophisticated moves.

Bella came down the stairs during one of our many brawls, leaning against the doorway near Jasper.

"Emmett, come here a sec." He broke his hold from me and jumped over to her, looking over his shoulder to see if I was going to attack while his back was turned. I gave her a suspicious look. She waved him down so she could speak in his ear.

She was speaking below a whisper so even my keen hearing could not make it out, and Emmett was blocking his thoughts from me. Jasper was looking up at them from the couch with amusement. I heard in his thoughts that he could sense a change in Emmett's mood; he was excited for some reason. I then saw it in his eyes. "Thanks Bells," as he gave her a high five.

"What were you two talking about?" I asked cautiously of her then glanced over at Emmett, he was still doing a thorough job of blocking me.

"Oh nothing," she smirked.

"Edward, you want a rematch on Spiderman?" Emmett asked me casually as he sat back down, grabbing the wireless controller, in front of the wide screen TV.

"Sure, if you want you to be beat again," I chortled. Bella took a seat next to Jasper, her face showing only slight amusement, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Emmett and I reinstated our dueling and within minutes were back to physically brawling once I had swiftly killed off his character. I had the upper hand once again, my feet dancing around him as he reached out to grab me. I am sure to a human, we would have been a blur of indecipherable movements, but our matches were generally well-choreographed jabs and feins. To my surprise, he got a hold of my wrist and twisted it behind my back, throwing me to the floor. Normally, I could have easily escaped by pushing away with my free arm, but Emmett grabbed that a split second after the first. Suddenly I found myself pressed on the ground, both of my arms twisted and pinned up behind my back, with Emmett sitting on me.

"Yeah!" Bella cried out in victory. Jasper was laughing hysterically at my compromised position. Emmett was shaking with laughter on top of me.

"Bella, love. Did you tell him about this move?" I requested as I strained my neck to look up at her on the couch.

"Who me?" Bella said with faked abashment, casually pointing her finger at herself. "I would _never_ give away my secrets Edward," as a huge grin spread across her face, lighting it up like sunshine, but with a hint of deviousness. I could see she was trying to mask her triumph.

While in Alaska we had taken to playfully wrestling, though ours generally ended in making love all over the house, not me having my face plastered to the living room floor. This was the one move she had mastered that she could use to prevail over me.

Emmett finally released me and backed away slowly. "You have one evil wife Edward, telling me how I could beat you." He shook his head in disparagement, trying to hold back his grin. I quickly jumped to my feet and took off after him again, but was stopped by Rosalie yelling over the banister.

"I realize Esme is not here to yell at you, but could you please keep it down before someone's head goes through a wall again!" she shook her head and returned to her room, most likely to continue gazing at her own reflection.

"This isn't over Emmett." I laughed as I sauntered over to Bella and Jasper on the couch.

"And you, what am I going to do if my own wife gives away my weaknesses!" I said with shock and amusement as I leaned over and scooped her up, throwing her over my shoulder and running up the stairs with her.

"Emmett, I have more where that came from. Come see me later." She yelled while flipped upside down. I heard Emmett and Jasper chuckling in delight.

Once in our room, I leaned over and rolled Bella off my shoulder onto the bed. I crept over to her on all fours, pinning her hands over her head.

"I see how it is going to be now that we're living with everyone. I'm no longer the sad, lonely- man out. I have to watch my back, don't I?" I said as I nuzzled my nose on the side of her face into her hair, breathing in deeply, placing kisses along the curve of her ear.

"Edward…you know I can't…think straight when you do that…" she murmured.

"And why, pray tell, do you need to think straight, so you can pass along other tips to Emmett?" I continued my exploration down her neck and along her collarbone as she let out a groan.

"I guess…you will have to do…this forever then…just to keep…me quiet," she said in little gasps. I loved the way she responded to me. In the back of my mind, I had feared that my touch wouldn't affect her the same way once she was turned, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Since our physical restraints were completely gone, she responded to my every glance and touch.

"When do you want to leave for Alaska?" I asked while lifting myself from her, she scowled in disapproval and wrapped her arms around my back, pulling me again on top of her. I rested my head on her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Doesn't matter," she murmured, kissing the top of my head.

"Let's leave first thing in the morning. We have one stop to make on the way." I replied with a smile, my eyes closed from the warmth her touch was sending through me.

"Where are we going?" Her voice perked up with curiosity.

"Don't you worry about it, just be ready to go in the morning." I mused back, excited about my surprise for her.

The next morning I was packing a bag for us when Alice showed up in our doorway. "Bella, could you come to my room?" she had a knowing smile as she held out her hand to Bella.

"Sure, why?" She asked, always suspicious of Alice. I smiled at Alice as she let me know with her thoughts that she was going to get Bella ready for my surprise. I smiled at her with a nod. Alice always knew how to make an event even more special.

By the next hour, Bella and Alice had still not surfaced from the bedroom. I was starting to worry for my wife's safety. I had put on a pair of black slacks and a light blue button down, the top button open. I was waiting in the entranceway when Bella started to come down the stairs. Alice was behind her with a big grin on her pixie-like face.

Bella floated down the staircase like an angel, wearing a merlot-colored silk blouse that tied at the side, showcasing her womanly curves, with a low cut front, a thin line of matching lace peeking out, a long, black velvet skirt that fluttered around her ankles with each step down the stairs. She had on black high heels that she could walk in with much more gracefully now. Alice had put her hair in sexy, loose waves, one side pulled up in a delicate crystal hairpin. Her makeup was minimal but for slightly smoky eyes and deep red lips. Her skin was luminescent again the color of her blouse. I gasped at her beauty, which was almost causing me physical pain, with my desire for her. She once again stunned me into silence. All I could do was hold my hand out to her.

She turned around as she grasped mine, "Thank you Alice," she beamed. Alice nodded.

_Edward, she had no idea where you two are going. She's so nervous. _I smiled in return, thanking her for her doting attention to my wife.

I led Bella to our truck, opening the door to help her in, a silly grin on my face as she tried to read my expression.

"Edward, where are we going?" she asked nervously once we were both in the truck.

"You look beautiful Bella, absolutely glorious." My eyes smoldering as I gazed at my love, bringing her hand to my lips.

"Thank you, and you are perfection as always," she said her glance averting, she was never good at taking compliments, "and you are avoiding my question." She looked up and smiled at me.

"No, not avoiding, just not telling. This is our first real date since we've been married. You're not learning anything until it's time."

Bella found out a long time ago that I lived for surprising her. She let out a deep sigh of acceptance and leaned her head back on the seat, turning her head towards me,"I love you Edward."

"I love you too." And with that I stepped on the gas speeding towards Vancouver


	13. Chapter 13

The day was overcast as we wound our way up route 101 towards Port Angeles where we picked up the ferry to Vancouver Island. After twenty minutes of driving in peaceful silence, my anticipation building at sharing my surprise with Bella, she turned to me and asked with innocent eyes, "Why are we all dressed up?" But I knew better. "Do you really think that I would give up information that easily?" I chuckled at her sly attempt. She gave me an adorable smirk in return. Bella dislikes surprises as much as I liked them, especially for her. The anticipation alone was worth the endearing look on her face.

We pulled up to the Port Angeles -Victoria BC Ferry Terminal and I paid the attendant and drove onto the boat. It would be about an hour trip to cross, so I suggested that we leave the car below deck and go up top to see the sights. Bella obliged without further question. I offered her a black wrap I had brought for her, as I put on a black leather jacket. Although we didn't technically need them, it would look suspicious if we only wore our lightweight tops in the middle of December. Since it was the mid-day on a Wednesday, the Ferry was only half full of passengers. We found our way to the top level at the bow, where we would have the best view of the harbor, and had the deck to ourselves. I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind as we both looked out over the vast, cold, blue-green water. There were little snowflakes dancing through the air, but not enough to accumulate. I pulled Bella closer to me and leaned down to bury my face in the nook of her neck, breathing her heady scent in.

"Edward," she murmured. Every time she uttered my name, even in anger, it sent a thrill to my very core.

"Yes my love?" My face still buried in her hair as she looked out over the water, her hands over mine.

"There's something I have been meaning to ask you, it's silly really, but I figure I won't stop thinking about it until I ask," hesitancy in her voice.

"It can't be that silly if you keep thinking about it, what is it?" I said encouraging her to share her thoughts with me. Even after all of this time together, there were moments it was still difficult for me to accept that her mind was not open to me like the rest of the human population.

"Well, it's about before you changed me," she paused. I sensed her struggling with her words. I turned her around in my arms so she was facing me and looked deeply into her eyes.

"You know how we 'slept together' before you changed me?" she said while fiddling with the top button of my shirt. Her eyes averting mine.

"Yes," I grinned. It was a glorious evening, she was finally my wife and we consummated our union as I never thought possible while she was still so fragile. My Bella had been transformed into a very confident, sexual being that night. I agreed with her earlier comment to Alice though, it was wonderful, but it couldn't even compare to our physical unions since we were equals. The emotion was the same, but the level of intensity was increased tenfold with our lack of physical restraint. I felt myself grinning like a silly schoolboy as my mind raced with all the wonderful intimate occasions we had spent together. And to think, I was ready to spend the rest of this existence without ever experiencing that level of unguarded love and connection. It was foolish of me to believe I was ever complete without Bella.

She pulled me out of my lustful reverie as she continued. "Well it seemed relatively easy for you to not hurt me, so I have wondered was the reason that you made us wait until we were married more about preserving your, err, my virtue, as opposed to my safety?" she asked with a smirk.

She still couldn't believe that I had been concerned about her, and partially my, virtue. I knew it didn't make sense considering what I was, but I still clung onto the social rules of my time, and they said absolutely no sex until marriage. But in reality, the main reason was her physical safety. I had been ready to give into all my pent up desires that day in the meadow when I told her all bets were off. I'm so glad she stopped me for I have no idea if I was truly ready at the point.

"I mean, I appreciate your concern if that is the reason, and in retrospect I am glad we waited. Though at the time I thought I might combust with my lust for you," she smiled, a hint of that same desire in her eyes, "But, since I have been changed, I have tried to get a better understanding of the struggle you went through every minute you were around me. I honestly don't know how you did it, controlled your hunger, when my blood was the one and only that sang to you." She said as she shook her head in disbelief.

Bella continuously took me by surprise with the way that her mind worked and this was no exception. She had obviously been thinking about this for some time and for whatever reason didn't feel comfortable sharing it with me until now. I surmised that the question was less about why I had requested for us to wait, and more about what I had experienced while she was human.

If I was truly honest with myself the only reason that I had insisted we wait was because I wasn't sure if I could control my thirst when we were wrapped up in the throws of passion. But, could I admit that to her, when she looked up to me as the one with so much control over my inner-beast? I had every intention of sharing my experiences in this existence with her, but at the same time, it was difficult to admit to my weaknesses and self-doubt. Since I knew she was asking to help her get a better understanding of her own eternal struggle, I thought it would be wiser to put my own self-preservation aside and share even if it resulted in her thinking less of me.

"Yes, part of the reason that I wanted to wait was for virtue," I smiled at her and then continued in a more serious tone with my admission, "but the main reason is because I wasn't fully confident in my ability to control myself once we were caught up in the moment. As you recall, it was a struggle on both our parts when it came to physical contact," I smirked attempting to lighten the strain in my voice, "I knew that if I lost control, if I harmed you in any way, I had to be ready to change you. I truly did not want to be faced with that situation until we were married."

I paused trying to put into words the gut-wrenching struggle I went through with my decisions concerning her, "Bella, up until the morning after our wedding, I was still not convinced I was ready to change you, or that I could even control my thirst for you enough to change you, even with all of the feeding I did leading up to the wedding, without taking your life completely. Obviously hindsight is twenty-twenty and I am extremely happy with our decision, but if I had seen a way out of it that morning without causing you pain, without a doubt, I would have taken it." I pulled her even closer to me, running my fingers through her silky hair that flowed down her back.

My voice dropped to a whisper at my revelation, "Now I realize I was foolish to ever think we could have had a life together without being equals. My pride once again almost got the best of me, and I'm so glad it didn't this time." She was looking deeply into my eyes. I only saw love and admiration from her. How she did not hold my weaknesses against me I will never understand, I certainly did.

"Edward, I'm sorry I pushed you so much that morning. I mean I'm not at all sorry you succumbed to my stubbornness, but I didn't realize you were still questioning your own control. I hope you know that I never doubted you." I smiled and nodded as she said it. I knew that she had a deep faith in me; I wish I could say that same for myself.

"What made you be able to stop once you bit me?" sincere curiosity in her voice.

I hung my head, vividly recalling the moment when I had to fight to stop taking her blood, it was excruciating. I had only admitted to Carlisle my weakness during that moment. My self-loathing was fighting its way to the surface of my emotions - trying to overcome me. But, when I thought about what caused me to release her from my deadly clutches, it was a good memory. She deserved to know. "I had an image of you and me in the woods hunting together. Your eyes were a warm amber and you took my hand, smiled at me and we ran together. We were so happy. Knowing that could be us, if I could only stop myself, gave me the strength." The physical pain of battling what my body wanted more than anything still coursed through me. "Then you whispered my name and it brought me back to reality, to what I could so easily do to you."

"Why do you think it was different than the other time you tasted my blood?" She inquired, attempting to truly understand my internal warring.

"When James bit you, all I could think about was keeping you from changing. I was nowhere near ready at that point to see you become one of us. I didn't have to take that much of your blood to get his venom out. It tasted different then too, it was tainted with his venom and morphine; nothing like the purity of your blood when I bit you." My voice dropped to a barely audible whisper, my eyes closed in despair. "I took _so_ much from you. It was too close." I had come so close to ending it all, her life and my reason for existence. Over the last few months those painful memories on occasion would creep up and paralyze me. I would have to force myself back to the present to realize I didn't end it all, somehow I stopped and now I had my love with me for eternity.

She reached up and touched my face with her fingertips and I opened my eyes to see her lovingly gazing at me, again, not even a hint of disappointment.

"Do you think that's why I changed in less than three days?" she said while still lovingly caressing my face.

I nodded, "Carlisle thinks so, that and the fact that your blood had already been exposed to our venom, even if it were for a short amount of time."

Bella was whispering into my chest, "Now that I have only scarcely experienced what you went through every day to be with me, and I haven't even come close to what you went through to change me...I feel unworthy." Her eyes did not meet mine as she spoke. How could she think she was unworthy? Bella was the most loving, compassionate, and intuitive being I had ever met.

I cupped her chin with my hand and drew her gaze up to mine, "Bella, love, don't even think that again. It is me who was unworthy of your love and adoration, but I have realized over these last few months that for whatever the reason, you do love me with your whole heart," a sweet grin spread across her face as she nodded her head, "and I am going to accept that wholeheartedly and no longer question the reason. The energy I spent berating myself for being blessed with your love was that much less energy I was able to spend on loving you."

I bent down and whispered in her ear, "We are two sad, selfless fools who are stuck with each other for all of eternity, so we better get use to it," with playfulness. Bella and I were very similar in our ability to let ourselves be consumed with guilt.

I felt her cheeks pull up in a smile against mine. She drew back slightly and looked at me. Her gaze was like an ocean full of love and I wanted to spend my eternity floating in it. She pushed up on her toes and pressed her full, cool lips to mine. I pulled her closer to me, taking in a gasp of air as the electricity of passion passed between us. We stood there for several moments, locked in our embrace when the voice of the captain came over the loud speaker to tell us we were nearing the harbor.

I released all but her hand and led her back to our car below. We drove off of the ferry and headed slightly north to our destination. As we pulled up to the hotel, I glanced over to see Bella's eyes wide with shock. The structure really was a grand sight with its seven-story brick facade, high peaked dormer windows, and copper domes atop the brick pillars and large entranceway. The entire outline of the building had been lined in white lights for the holiday season. It had a presence on the edge of the water similar to buildings seen in London. A level of regality and elegance not seen in modern day hotels.

She turned to me, "Are we staying here?" she said with incredulous excitement.

I had a big grin on my face at her response, "Yes, for two nights and then we will make the drive up to Juneau. I thought we deserved a mini honeymoon since we didn't spend much time in Seattle."

"How did you find this place, it is amazing?"

"It was built a few years before I was changed. My mother and father had planned to come here on vacation, but that never came to fruition when we all fell ill. It has recently been restored to its original early twentieth century grandeur." What few memories I still had of my parents came rushing back, filling me with peace and love.

We pulled up the circular driveway and the valet took our keys and bag. We walked into the opulent entranceway with its marble pillars and parquet floors. There were palm trees lining the center aisle and seating areas off to each side. The coffered ceiling had stepped, recessed panels with a different painted scene in each, replicating al fresco style.

As we approached the desk, the concierge's eyes went wide at the sight of us. Her thoughts were absorbed with our indescribable beauty and her heart rate sped up when she spoke to us, obligatorily listing off the features of the hotel. Although I was entirely accustomed to this reaction from humans, I sensed Bella's discomfort as her body stiffened at the young woman's quickened pulse. I wrapped my arm around her waist in reassurance.

As we made our way up to our room, I saw off to the right of the elevators was a formal lounge with leather seating and a three-story fireplace that covered most of the wall. The decor was reminiscent of British regality.

I had requested their most impressive suite with two bedrooms and a large parlor. A section of the sitting area had parquet flooring and in the middle stood a baby-grand piano. Upon seeing it I realized I hadn't played since we had been home and I missed the creative outlet. I was certain I would find an opportunity to play for Bella later.

As the bellboy left I gave him a tip and closed the door. I turned to find Bella running at me and jumping into my arms, "Edward, it is just beautiful here. I love that you wanted to share a place with me that was from your human life. It means so much to me."

"Bella I want to share everything with you." I said, her favorite crooked grin on my face, while leading her over to the king-sized mahogany four-poster bed and laying her down. I removed my jacket and lay down beside her, pulling her back to my chest. My one arm was under her head and she twined her fingers in mine and kissed each one. I let out a deep sigh of contentment.

"How did I ever get so lucky to by loved by you?" she said sweetly.

"Now you know how I have felt every single day since you told me you loved me - the night after the meadow." I murmured into her hair, kissing her neck.

We spent the next few hours just relaxing in the room, but I didn't plan on squandering away the entire day when there was so much to show Bella. At dusk we walked over to the hotel's gardens that had been decorated with thousands of white lights, swags and wreaths of evergreens. The recent snowfall crunched beneath our shoes as we walked hand in hand through the magical paths. We talked about the move. She was excited to live on the east coast. She wanted me to teach her to snowboard at one of the large mountain resorts in Vermont. Our hope was that by next fall she would be ready to attend college full time, there was several in the area.

We meandered our way back to the hotel and up to our room. After a few minutes I found myself seated at the piano. Bella was looking out the large window at the lights outlining the bay. I started playing the composition I had been working on in Alaska. I had been close to completing it when Charlie called to inform us that Billy passed away. The last verse came to me while we were walking through the gardens.

Bella came to sit next to me on the piano bench as I played the last few notes. "That's beautiful. Is that the piece you were composing at the cabin when Charlie called?"

I nodded, "For whatever reason it took me until now to hear the ending." I smiled with satisfaction as I memorized the notes so that I could later put them to paper. I didn't need to have them written down, I already knew every note, but I liked to take the time to do it just the same.

I got up from the bench and walked over to my bag to remove a CD. I went to the stereo system that was built into the outside wall of the room and put in the CD and pressed play. As the music started to fill the room, I held my hand out to Bella. She took it with hesitation in her eyes.

"Trust me." I smiled.

I pulled her body close to mine, my right arm around her waist, and my left arm elevated in proper waltz stance, lightly cupping her hand in mine. Our feet floated across the parquet floor in time with the music. The two other times we had danced like this, she was human, at the prom and our wedding. Both times she needed to place her feet on mine so I could guide her. Now, just like with ice-skating, her newly honed body instinctively took over and followed my lead like a professional. It felt wonderful to twirl her across the dance floor while the piece I had recorded filled the room. The entire time she had a huge grin on her beautiful face. Her velvet skirt swayed to accentuate each of our movements. As the music came to a close, I dipped her and kissed her deeply.

The next day I had planned a whale-watching trip through one of the local tourism companies. The gentleman I spoke with warned me it would be very cold out on the water and I assured him we would bring proper outerwear. Bella was so excited about the trip and said she had never done anything like this before. She couldn't wait to board the boat and was like a giddy school child. We were out on the open water for a couple of hours and saw several humpbacks, some seals as well as some prey birds. The host of the tour was informative with the history of Victoria Island area and discussions on endangered wildlife native to the bay waters.

We returned back to the room just before sundown and spent the rest of the evening curled up on the bed talking about the last few days. Then we made love until the light of the morning started to seep through the drapes. We left the hotel early on the third day. It was a long drive up to Juneau and we wanted to make haste so that we could return back to Forks and our family.


	14. Chapter 14

We arrived at our cabin by late evening. There were several feet of snow that had accumulated since we had left for Forks and I needed to clear the path to even access the front door. When we entered the living room, I felt a small sense of loss that this no longer was our home. I had believed that every part of me wanted to be back with the family, but returning here after the events of the last week, reminded me how much I enjoyed having Bella all to myself.

We had come a long way during our four months in Alaska. She had not only honed her physical control extremely well but we had also grown immensely as a couple. After our wedding, I didn't think it was possible for us to become any closer. She was already my reason for existing and I loved her with every ounce of my stilled-heart. But, I found, as we spent many quiet days and nights together, curled up by the fire, that Bella opened up to me even more. We spent hours talking about our favorite books and movies. I explained to her my thought process when I was composing music or why I bought certain cars for my collection. She attempted to convince me that there was merit in modern day movies, that they weren't all awful. She never completely sold me on that.

Along with her thoughts, Bella opened her emotions to me more as well. She was no longer as guarded, concerned that she would say the wrong thing and I would leave, as if I would ever make that mistake again. It truly felt as though we shared every aspect of ourselves with one another, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme, and Rose and Emmett felt the same way about their spouses. I heard it in their thoughts and saw it with their actions. They kept nothing from their better halves. They all loved our family, but that love did not even begin to compare to what they felt for their mates. After having finally experiencing it for myself, I understand why my family longed for me to find my other half, the one that would complete me, though I hadn't even realized it was missing. If Bella had never come into my life that dreadful day in Biology, I would have continued existing in a semi-numb state for the rest of eternity. I shuttered at the thought of ever having to endure that way again.

"Edward, what are we bringing with us and what are the movers packing up?" Bella asked returning me to the present moment.

"I thought we would keep this place for a while. Eventually I would like to build us a house someplace warm, but for now, it will be comforting to have a hideaway to run to when we are sick of everyone." I smiled at her knowing that all of the couples in our family experienced that everyone once in a while. Rosalie and Emmett especially, they preferred to run around Africa together. "So, just pack up clothes and whatever books you want, and of course your ice skates. There are hundred of lakes in the Adirondacks and some of the smaller ones freeze over during winter."

We spent the night and departed in the morning, immediately after we hunted in the nearby woods. We arrived back in Forks by Saturday evening. Esme had returned from her trip to New York and was ecstatic about the house she had found. It was previously vacant; therefore we would be able to take possession within two weeks. She was going to make one more trip to take care of some decorating before everyone arrived. Each time we moved, she did her best to have the next house ready when we moved in, to make it feel like a home. Every house had its own personality and style. No two have been alike. With the differences in styles, the furniture we had tended to no longer fit, so she took it upon herself to buy everything new. I knew that this move would be no exception. I was fully confident that when we arrived everything would be perfect. It is amazing what one can accomplish without the necessity for sleep and an endless supply of money.

It would be Christmas in a few days. We would celebrate it in Forks and then pack up the house and make the move across country. It was Bella and my first Christmas together. A cloud of despair threatened to move over me as I thought about where I was a year ago, very unsuccessfully tracking Victoria. While my poor sweet Bella was fighting to keep herself whole while she clawed through the depression that consumed both of us from my ill-conceived separation. I will forever be haunted by that one mistake.

"What does the family usually do for Christmas?" She asked as were in our bedroom shortly after arriving home. "I mean, I assume you don't attend Christmas Eve mass." She smirked.

"Actually, Carlisle has attended a few times, but couldn't rally the troops to join him. Esme insists on us all being together on Christmas Eve and we open presents after midnight." I replied. A look of shock was in Bella's eyes at something I had said. "What is it love, why the frightened face?"

"It's, um, well I didn't get present for everyone, just for you...and I got something for Alice. For all of her help with the wedding." She said in a panicked whisper. I walked over to her and put my arms around her, she wrapped hers around my waist, bringing her face to my chest.

"That's okay. We don't all exchange presents, just with our spouses usually. There are just too many of us. Plus, when we want something, we just go buy it." I chuckled. My family did have a way of being materialistic at times. She let out a big sigh of relief at my reassurance and I let out a light laugh at her perpetual concern for upsetting others.

Edward, we are all going to watch some awful, gory movie. Why don't you and Bella come join us? I heard Alice's request from downstairs.

"Love, would you like to take a break from packing and watch a movie with everyone?" I murmured into her hair, taking in a deep breath of her heavenly scent. She paused before she answered me, "Sure, but I want you to myself later." She said with a smirk as she looked up at me.

"I think I can accept those terms," with a boyish grin on my face, giving her a quick kiss and leading her downstairs. As we entered the family room where the home theatre was set up, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were already seated.

"Where's Esme and Carlisle?" Bella asked to no one in particular.

Alice was the first to answer, "Carlisle is on the night shift at the hospital and will be home around 6am and Esme is upstairs working on spending money on the new house. She is very excited about it and won't tell anyone what it is like. Oh, Edward, she said if you dare to look in her head, you better not tell anyone else what you see." She said with a stern, motherly look on her face, trying to relay Esme's threat correctly.

"Got it, no peeking." I grinned. I led Bella over to one of the open spots on the large sectional. I sat down first and then pulled her onto my lap. She wiggled her head in the nook between my chin and shoulder and let out a sigh of contentment.

We proceeded over the next two hours to watch one of the worst movies I had ever seen about vampires and witches. They got absolutely nothing right about our kind. The creatures on screen barely even resembled humans and looked more like the Orks in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Did the masterminds of Hollywood really think believe that was what humans wanted to see, disgusting monsters that ripped people into parts as they fed on their blood? The whole time my siblings and I were hackling at the screen, yelling at the silly humans who kept cornering themselves and in turn ended up slaughtered.

Over the years Jasper, Emmett and I have joked about how satisfying it would be if we could go to California and give the bigwigs of Hollywood a real demonstration about the realities of vampires. I am certain is would be an eye opening experience. The only movie that I saw that came even close to detailing our kind in the correct light was Interview With a Vampire, though they still had us sleeping in coffins. I shook my head at the silly thought.

When the movie was through, I whispered to Bella, "So what did you think?" She did not answer me, so I pulled away from her a little so I could look at her face. What I saw surprised me. She had a mixture of shock and disgust in her eyes.

"Bella, what is it, what's the matter?" I asked with a hint of desperation in my voice. I couldn't stand to see the frightened look in on her face. She just slowly shook her head and then drew her eyes to mine.

In a barely audible whisper she said, "Is that what people really think of us? Of vampires?"

I held back a laugh at her response. I had thought something much worse would come out of her lips. But, I didn't want to lessen her dismay.

"I take it you haven't watched too many vampire movies?" I asked in my sweetest voice.

She shook her head again, "No, I don't like horror movies. Plus I never had anyone to watch them with other than my Mom. Cuddling up to her and holding her hand just isn't the same." She whispered looking up at me with big, round, innocent eyes. There were so many times I forgot that Bella has had such a short amount of time on this earth compared to the rest of us. She was so sheltered and naive and so many ways. It never occurred to me that she would find this movie upsetting, poorly made and somewhat comical, yes, but not upsetting.

"I'm sorry love. I promise we don't ever have to watch a vampire movie again. It's only romantic comedies and dramas from here on out." I chuckled. She gave me an exasperated look in return as she turned to Alice.

"Alice, could I talk with you for a minute?"

"Sure thing. Want to go upstairs?" Alice said rising off of Jasper's lap. Emmett took the cute and started to get out the Playstation controllers. Rosalie left to go work in the garage.

Jasper turned to me, "Any idea what that was about?"

I shook my head, "No, I am fighting the urge to listen in to find out since we are so close to Christmas. I am sure it is just harmless girl talk, but I never can tell with Bella. Her thoughts have a tendency to take me completely off guard." I smirked more to myself. In so many ways Bella's unpredictability is why I loved her so much. There was no one else in my life that could catch me so off guard. "Did you sense anything?" I asked Jasper.

"Well, I did get a quick wave of nervousness then excitement from Bella, but then it was gone." He responded nonchalantly. Why would Bella be nervous? I had to find out, so I opened my mind to Alice's voice. She was listening to Bella talk about Christmas.

_On Christmas my mom and my tradition was to get dressed up in our nicest outfit, we would go out to dinner, someplace really fancy and then go to midnight church service, the denomination varied depending on her whim at the time. When I was little, we would wait until morning to exchange presents and when I got older we would do it after church. I loved that she let me stay up so late. Then we would sleep in on Christmas day and when we got up I would cook her a big breakfast._ I could hear a bit of sadness reflected in her voice in Alice's thoughts. I craved to go to her and hold her and take that sadness away.

She continued, _Obviously I know we can't do a lot of those things, and I am excited to start new traditions with Edward and my new family._ She paused. Alice sat there patiently waiting for her continue, surprisingly Alice's mind was void of other thoughts. I know Alice adored hearing Bella's human stories since she herself didn't have any.

I sensed both women were slightly saddened by the topic. But then Bella's voice perked up. _One tradition I would like to continue is getting dressed up. Obviously I need your help with that Alice since I haven't a clue and I'm not quite ready to go shopping._ Alice's thoughts brightened as her mind raced with possible outfits. I think Bella had made her day by giving her a project to focus on, and a reason to shop.

Within second Alice came flying down the stairs at vampire speed, "Rose, where are you?" she yelled throughout the house.

Rose came running in from the garage donning her coveralls, covered in grease. As soon as Alice saw her enter the family room she took off on an explanation of their newest project.

"Rose, it's going to be light in a hour. Can you be ready to go by then? We are making a trip to Seattle. We have some shopping to do!" Alice asked with excitement dancing on her pixie-like face.

Rose saw that same excitement and sensed it did no good to question Alice, "Sure, I will go shower right now," heading up the stairs to her bathroom.

Jasper and I were sitting on the couch witnessing the whole exchange. I was attempting to keep my face impassive, as if I didn't know what was going on.

"What is going on Alice?" Jasper requested sweetly of his wife. Alice tried to calm herself before she answered. I am certain that Bella did not want me to know about her plans, otherwise she would have not pulled Alice away for a private conversation. As if anything is private in this house!

Alice came around the side of the couch and plopped herself next to Jasper. "Oh nothing, just a little last minute shopping for Christmas." As she said it she winked at him. I had learned over the years to decipher their signals to one another. Her response indicated she would tell him the rest of the story when they were alone. She was blocking her thoughts from me.

"Really, Alice. You are not as covert as you think." I grinned at her as I stood up to go join my wife upstairs. She looked back at me with mock shock as a big grin spread across her face.

The next day passed without incident. Alice and Rosalie went to Seattle and were back by mid-day. Bella and I were finishing packing up the rest of the items we had left at the house. We spent the evening hunting. As we were walking back to the house, the sun was just starting to rise. I could tell that Bella was sad and I assumed it was because she missed her parents and the holidays made the separation more obstinate. She hadn't been corresponding with them as much since we returned to Forks, especially Charlie.

"Bella, love. You seem so sad. I know you miss your parents, but is there something else?" I asked, bringing our entwined hands up to my lips to kiss hers.

She let our a huff of air before she responded, "Yes, well no. It is about the holidays. I miss my mom. This is really my first Christmas without her. I know I was apart from her last Christmas, but I honestly don't remember it." She said, averting her eyes from me. Was she in that much pain from my leaving that she had completely blocked out whole events? I already knew the answer to that before I finished the thought. She was in as much or more pain than I was. She thought I no longer loved her. I had deduced from seeing memories in friends and family's minds that there were about four months that she barely existed. It will never cease to amaze me how she so willingly forgave me for my blasphemy.

"It's just that I am struggling with whether I should call Charlie and Renee, or let this be the next step in forever separating from them." She shook her head then turned to look up at me with pleading eyes, searching for her answers.

Being that Bella's transition into this world was completely unique from the rest of ours, I decided a while ago that however she needed to deal with it, I would support her. Carlisle had pushed for her to fake her death at the time of her change, but she couldn't conceive of hurting her parents like that. Therefore, he had conceded to giving her some time to distance herself from them to hopefully lessen the blow. We all knew no time or distance would lessen the pain of losing a child, but everyone supported Bella's path.

"Bella, I don't know what to tell you. You need to do what feels right. If calling your parents on Christmas would make you happy, then you should do it. If it is only going to cause you more pain, then you know what you should do. Unfortunately love, I can't answer that question for you." I said as I pulled her to me in an embrace.

When we returned, the sun was completely up. As we entered the house I heard Alice's thoughts. There you two are. I need your wife! It sent warmth throughout my whole body whenever she was referred to that way. My wife.

"Bella, Alice is requesting you upstairs." I said while kissing her forehead.

"Okay, I'll see you later." She grinned back at me as she raced up the staircase.

Bella spent the rest of the day, which was Christmas Eve, in Alice's bathroom with her and Rosalie. My brothers and I worked on boxing up the items in the family room, disconnecting all of the cabling to the home theatre and game consoles, and boxing up the books in the living room. I can't remember the last time we had the luxury of taking our time packing. The last few occasions we departed in the dead of the night at a moments notice under the suspicion that someone in the town we lived in had caught onto our rouse.

It was nearing twilight and I missed my love terribly. It had been far to long since our lips had touched. I made my way up the stairs to Alice and Jasper's room. Edward, don't you come in here. We are almost done. You and the boys go wait downstairs, we will be down soon. Rosalie commanded to me. I shook my head knowing it would be futile to dispute either of my sisters.

I turned on my heel and headed back to the family room where Jasper and Emmett were. Carlisle had just returned from the hospital and he and Esme were in their room catching up the day's events. After a few minutes they both came down the stairs to join us.

"Where are the girls?" Carlisle asked looking at the three of us sitting there looking lost without of wives.

"They are upstairs, they have been locked in the bathroom all day." Emmett responded with a shrug of his burly shoulders.

We all heard the girls come down the stairs and into the hallway with a click of their heels. Simultaneously we turned to see the three most stunning creatures to ever walk the face of the earth. I am certain Emmett, Jasper and my jaws visibly dropped open. Rosalie was wearing something blood red and Alice had on a dress that was emerald green. I honestly couldn't pay much attention to their outfits because all I could see was Bella. She wore a cocktail dress that came to just below her knee. It was the most amazing shade of sapphire blue, my favorite color on her, even more now with her paler skin. It was made of a light material with multiple layers, but was snug on all of her glorious curves. The neckline had thin spaghetti straps that hung skillfully on her shoulders with a deeply, draped neckline that crossed in the front and dipped low back. She was the sexiest creature I had ever laid my eyes on. I had never seen her wear anything like it. Even her wedding dress had a sweet innocence to it. There was none of that in this outfit. The girls had put her hair all up exposing her long, delicate neck. I was speechless, as were my brothers upon seeing their wives.

Carlisle broke our gaping silence with a light chuckle. "I didn't realize that Christmas Eve had turned into a formal affair."

Only the sound of Bella's musical voice broke my trance, "Sorry Carlisle, it's my fault. I had told Alice how my mom and I used to get dressed up on Christmas Eve and go out to dinner. Alice decided we all should get dressed up." She smiled sweetly at her father figure.

"Well, I think you boys look rather shabby compared to your wives. Run upstairs and put something more presentable on." Esme said while shooing us up the stairs. None of us had said a word yet, following our wives with our lust-filled eyes.

I ran up to our room and returned within a minute in my black suit with a pale pink shirt underneath, no tie. As I flew down the stairs, I grabbed Bella by the arm and swiftly pulled her away from listening ears.

"You are absurdly gorgeous and dangerously sexy Mrs. Cullen." I murmured into her ear as I ran my nose along her jaw line. She involuntarily shuttered with chills in my embrace.

"Dangerously?" She replied playfully.

"Yes, dangerously. I have never come so close to being killed all over again. You are lucky I no longer need to breathe." My words thick and raspy with desire.

"Well if that's the case, I better not give you one of your gifts. I didn't realize you were so vulnerable." Seduction oozing from her voice. It took every ounce of my control to not sweep her off of her feet and carrier her away to our bed.

The others had returned downstairs in their best attire, Carlisle and Esme included. We all reconvened in the living room around the Christmas tree. Traditionally Alice acted as the Santa and handed out all of the gifts. Jasper was reluctant to relinquish his hold on her, but eventually did.

Alice opened the present the Bella had gotten her, garnet stud earrings. "Thank you Bella. These are beautiful!"

"You are very welcome. It was the least I could do after you orchestrated our entire wedding." Bella replied with a big smile at her sister and best friend.

"Here, open mine love." I said handing her a rectangular box wrapped in silver paper with a red silk bow. She took it from me with a coy grin. She gentle shook the box as she looked at me, my face holding an indecipherable smile. Bella's delicate fingers gently tore open the paper and opened the box to find a large packet of information from State University of New York at Plattsburgh.

She studied it for a moment, "I don't understand Edward?" she said incredulously.

"I enrolled you in some English courses there starting the winter semester. They are almost all conducted online except for the occasional meeting with a professor. The program is geared towards working adults, so they expect a high level of self-study." I beamed at her. I knew she was going crazy not having anything to do all day. Bella was too smart and too good of a student to not be applying herself.

A look of comprehension crept over her face. "Are you serious Edward?" Her voice still unsure.

"Yes, and I will be attending classes as well. So, any meetings you need to go to, I can go with you if you think you need the support." I beamed at her, proud of how far she had come so quickly. She jumped from her seat next to me and onto my lap.

"Thank you Edward! I love you." Her voice now excited at the idea of entering back into the world and having something to focus her time on.

"You are very welcome love. I love you too."

The others were smiling as well. Alice of course knew she would love the gift.

"You are doing great Bella. You deserve to get out a little." Esme said in her soft, motherly tone. Carlisle nodded his head in agreement. Bella smiled back at them.

"Here Edward, open mine now." She said while handing me a small gift bag. I gave her a crooked grin as I reached into the bag. I pulled out a small envelope, which held two tickets. On the front was the name of my favorite classical pianist, one of the worlds more accomplished performers, the Toronto Symphony Orchestra and the date of March 7th, Toronto, Canada.

"Bella, are these what I think they are?" in complete disbelief. I had be wanting to see him in concert for over a decade, but no one in my family would concede to going with me. And now, we were going to go see him play with a symphony orchestra in three short months.

"Yes they are. I figured Toronto wouldn't be too far from the new house and we could make a weekend trip out of it, assuming I can keep my control up. But now I have a goal." She smiled.

"How did you know I have been wanting to see him?"

"I didn't actually. But, I knew he was one of the best in the world, so I figured you must have heard of him." She replied

"Thank you love. It's perfect, just like you," as I planted a kiss on her sweet lips.

The others were still opening their presents. Emmett as usually got Rosalie jewelry, which she loved. She got him some new Xbox games and a book on bears. We all chuckled at that. Carlisle got Esme some new art supplies and books on native Adirondack art. She got him some new clothes and some books, ones he already had, but they were so worn they were falling apart. Jasper gave Alice new CD's and he planned a weekend get away to New York City to go shopping. She was nearly bouncing off of her seat. She knew it would be hard couple of days for him to be in such close proximity to so many people, and she loved him all the more for it. She got him some books as well and some fly-fishing supplies which he said he would like to try once we moved.

We sat around talking for the next few hours. Bella started to get antsy on my lap, fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt and running her fingers through my hair. I needed to either get up or take her right there in front of our family. I didn't think they would appreciate the latter.

"We are going to retire for the night. Merry Christmas everyone." I said while getting up from the couch and placing Bella on her feet.

"Goodnight, it has been a lovely first Christmas, thank you." Bella said while looking around to everyone.

"The first of many dear." Esme said, "Goodnight," as she gave me a knowing look. _Your wife looks like she is going to jump out of her skin Edward. _

Bella led me up the stairs into our room. The second the door was closed my hands were all over her sumptuous body. "How did you know I was in agony sitting down there with you so close to me looking the way you do?" I said as I was starting to pull the zipper down on her dress. She drew a hand to my chest and pushed me away.

"Just one minute there, Mr. Cullen. Don't you want your other present?" She asked with a devilish look in her eyes.

"Yes, but I want you more." I replied attempting to pull her back to me.

"How do you know they aren't one in the same?" She mused with one raised eyebrow. "Give me just a minute, okay," while making her way to the bathroom.

I threw myself on the leather couch, the burning of desire in the pit of my stomach consuming my thoughts. It was less than a minute and the door to the bathroom opened. Bella walked over to me, one hand on her hip. She was wearing red lace panties, black high heels and a big red bow tied across her breasts…and nothing else.

After finding my voice again, "Love, you truly are going to be the death of me," as I pulled her to me. She let out a wicked giggle as she straddled my lap. "Merry Christmas Edward."


	15. Chapter 15

I can say without a doubt, and a smirk on my face, that it was the most memorable Christmas of my entire existence. The next day we finished preparations for the move. Carlisle had arranged for all of our vehicles to be transported and the "kids" were to ride in Emmett's new Escalade while Carlisle and Esme drove his Mercedes. Even with driving at double the speed limit it would still takes us two days to make it to New York. We had planned to stop overnight in Detroit.

Before we left Forks for possibly the last time ever, there was someplace I wanted to take Bella.

"Carlisle what time are we planning on leaving?" I asked, as the movers were passing by us on the front porch, finishing putting everything in the van.

"In two hours Edward, Esme has a few things she still needs to finalize."

"Bella and I will be back by then. I want to take her to the meadow one last time." I had in an internal grin at the thought of bringing her back there.

"That's fine, but don't be late son." He replied with a parental tone. Carlisle was strict about sticking to schedules. I nodded in understanding and went upstairs to retrieve Bella in Alice's room.

"Bella, if you are all packed, there is something I would like to do before we leave." She looked at me in acceptance and rose from Alice's bed to follow me downstairs. I took her small hand in mine, relishing the way they fit together and led her outside.

"I thought we could make one last trip to the meadow, for old time's sake." I smiled at her. So many fond memories were created there. She discovered what I really was without my carefully crafted façade but at the same time what I was capable of, what could have happened on that fateful day in Biology, how I had come to love her more than my own life, and of course our first kiss, and finally we solidified our marriage plans there by her finally placing my mother's ring on her finger for all of eternity.

"That would be wonderful Edward. I also wouldn't mind some time alone with you before the long car ride." She smiled as she stretched up on her tippy-toes to kiss my cheek causing my lips to curve up in a goofy grin. With that, we took off hand in hand to our sacred spot in the woods.

When we arrived minutes later, the sun was just breaking through the clouds. The air was cool and there was a light dusting of snow on the ground making it sparkle with the same intensity as our skin. We hadn't been back there since last summer and once we stepped foot in the circular clearing the memories hit me like a sharp wind, surprising me with their intensity. I tightened my grip on her hand as I led her to the center and sat down on the frozen ground, pulling her down beside me.

After a few minutes of silence Bella asked, "What are you thinking Edward, you seem sad?" I gazed up at her into her warm golden eyes.

"No, not sad. A little reflective I think. I have never had such mixed emotions at leaving a place. We have made so many wonderful memories in Forks." I said while she nestled herself onto my lap, putting her arms around my neck and kissing behind my ear causing delicious chills to run down my spine.

Pulling away from her nibbling on my ear she responded, "Yes we have, but we also have sad memories here. I don't want to forget them, because they are part of the reason we are where we are, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by them and I know you do too. I can see it on your face when it happens. I don't want anything to cause you that kind of sadness. I am ready to move on, to really start my new life with you, a clean slate," while gazing intently into my eyes.

"I can't argue with that love. You know me too well. I have tried desperately to not let my past mistakes haunt me, but sometimes I can't seem to escape them, they creep up on me like a black cloud." I said while shaking my head at my admission. I continued in a whisper, "In my heart I know it isn't true, but I can't shake the feeling that if I let my guard down and completely give in to our happiness, something will happen to take it all away." At times, the very thought of that panicked me to my core.

"Edward," she said while taking my face in her hands, forcing me look her in her eyes, "when are you going to accept, like your family has been telling you all along, that you deserve to be happy? Yes, you haven't been dealt your cards of choice, but you have elected to make this life the best you can. Your choices have always been out of love… I, for one, am not disheartened at all by Carlisle's choice. If he hadn't elected to create a companion in you, I never would have met you. I would have walked this earth for my entire human life searching for my soul mate, the one to complete me, not realizing he had died seventy years before I was even born," love and adoration pouring out of her as she spoke.

I felt the corners of my mouth lift a little at her words. She truly was my soul mate or whatever you wanted to call it considering I was still not entirely convinced I had a soul. But I knew for certain that Bella still did, she was my angel. "What would I do without you Bella? You are my sunshine, my voice of reason, my everything."

"You will never have to find out." She said while sweetly pressing her lips to mine. I breathed in her intoxicating exhale, letting it fill me with its calming love. We stayed in the meadow in utter silence, just holding each other, like we had that first day so long ago. Finally, I reluctantly checked my watch and knew we had to start the trip back to the house.

"Edward, I know we don't have much time but do you think we could stop by Charlie's quick on the way? He's at work. I need to make my peace with never seeing that house again."

"Sure love. But we need to make it quick."

We made our way through the thick woods to the edge where the trees met the grass of Charlie's lawn. I pulled her around back, to avoid the eyes of any neighbors. I opened the back door off of the laundry room with the spare key and we stepped inside. I was instantly hit with Bella's human scent. It was the very scent that drew me to her in both heavenly and hellish ways. To any other, even of our kind, she didn't smell much different, but to me, it was very noticeable. Now she smelled even sweeter, but without the subtle undertone of heat and blood that all humans radiated.

She walked into the kitchen and glanced up at the faded yellow cabinets before moving in to the living room. Everything looked exactly the same, except there was a new picture up on the mantle, in the middle of all of her school photos. It was a picture from our wedding. We were standing on the dance floor embracing each other, having just finished our first dance as husband and wife. We were both glowing with happiness. Bella was silently gazing at the photo.

"Edward, what did you ever see in me? Even all done up for our wedding I look completely out of place next to you," she murmured, not turning to look at me.

I came up behind her and put my arms around her waist. I turned her around in my embrace, cupping her chin with my hand, drawing her gaze up to meet mine. "Bella you always have and always will be the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. I know you don't believe me when I say it, but you don't see yourself very clearly." She didn't say anything in response, just a sweet smile. We both had our insecurities that we could only hope time would fade.

After a few more minutes of wandering through the house she turned to me, "Okay, I'm ready to go now." I nodded and we made our way home.

By the time we arrived the family was in the entranceway waiting for us. "There you two are! We are all ready to go." Emmett said slightly exasperated.

"Sorry, I wanted to stop by Charlie's house one last time." Bella said in response.

Carlisle directed his thoughts towards me. _Is she okay Edward?_ I gave him a slight nod of affirmation.

The six of us loaded into the Escalade, Bella and I were cuddled up in the third row with Jasper and Alice in the middle and Rosalie and Emmett in the front. We were going to drive straight through to Michigan only making stops for gas.

About eight hours into the drive Emmett and Rosalie switched places with Jasper and Alice, Jasper drove.

"Okay, I have a game to play to help pass the time. Jasper and I can't play because I would have a hard time not cheating." Alice cheerily said.

"What are we playing Alice?" Bella asked.

"The Newlywed Game!" She exclaimed receiving a response of groans from the rest of us.

"Alice, Emmett and I aren't newlyweds, not even close. We have been married for over seventy years!" Rosalie shot back.

"I know, I know. But we need something to pass the time. Just think of the unfair advantage you have over Bella and Edward. They've only been married for four months." _But I actually think you could win this Edward, you two know each other really well. _Alice finished in her thoughts.

"What does the winner get?" Emmett asked. Alice didn't answer immediately. Her mind revealed she hadn't thought about a prize. She should have known better with this family – the eternal gamblers.

"How about they get to pick their room in the new house?" Jasper replied as he looked over at Alice. Normally if the bet involved just my brothers, the prize would entail some form of humiliation of the loser, but considering Bella and Rose were involved as well, I am certain they would rather be playing for a tangible prize. Alice closed her eyes to search out a vision.

"Yes, Esme will be fine with that. She hasn't assigned the rooms and therefore hasn't decorated them yet.

"To get started, here are four pads of paper and pens. When I ask you questions boys, write both your answer and what you think your wives will answer and obviously ladies do the same. You should end up with two sets of answers for each question. Don't let you spouses peak. Then we will go back and reveal the answers to see who knows their mate better!" Alice was bubbling with excitement.

"This is going to be great. Are you going to ask what our wife's favorite sexual position is?" Emmett asked with an unabashed grin.

"No, Emmett. This is not the x-rated Newlywed Game. Get your mind out of the gutter. Besides, the questions are going to be harder than that. I'm sure Edward could answer that one for you." She laughed as she shot a glance at the back of the truck to me.

"Nice Alice. Real mature, but sadly, I could. I am not always quick enough at blocking their warped thoughts." I said while pointing at Rosalie and Emmett - who didn't seem the least bit embarrassed about my comment. Bella was quietly giggling next to me.

We positioned ourselves with our backs to the windows, facing each other.

"Question number one, what is your spouse's favorite color?" I pondered that for a moment and knew the answer fairly quickly.

"Question number two, what is your spouse's favorite book?" I sneaked a peek at Bella over the top of my pad of paper. She was deep in thought and then the most adorable look came across her face, I am assuming signaling an epiphany.

"What is the one place your spouse would like to go but has never been?"

"What would he or she consider to be their greatest weakness?"

Alice continued on in that fashion for about twenty questions. Some answers came to me fairly easy, others I had to really think about what Bella would answer. Thank goodness for our photographic memory – admitted a huge perk to this life.

"Okay, now for the results. Ladies first. Rosalie, what did you say that Emmett's favorite color is?" Alice asked.

She held up her paper with a confident grin, "Red. It is my favorite and his – he _loves_ all of my red underwear."

"That's right Rose! I wrote red for both." Emmett exclaimed pulling his wife over to kiss her cheek.

"Bella, what did you say that Edward's favorite color is?" Alice asked.

"Blue," Bella said with a shy smile at me.

"That is true, ever since I met you blue has been my favorite color." I grinned at her, reaching across the seat to grab her hand.

"Edward what did you write for Bella's favorite color?" asked Alice.

"I wrote topaz, golden yellow." Bella nodded her head in agreement as she stared into my amber eyes, tightening her grip on my hand.

"It is a tie so far, one, one." Alice proclaimed. "Next question, Rosalie, what did you answer for Emmett's favorite book?"

"Kama Sutra." She grinned.

"That's right sweetie. You know me so well." Emmett said.

"Well it is dog-eared and falling apart at the seams Em." Rosalie lovingly responded.

"There is a lot of good information in there." He said in his defense. We all chuckled at his seriousness.

Emmett answered that her favorite book was Chilton's Do-It-Yourself Auto Mechanic Guide and he was right. I had a hard time answering this one for Bella. She loved so many books and I was torn between Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet. In the end I decided to go with the former and was correct. I felt certain she wouldn't choose Romeo and Juliet because ever since Italy, her view of the tragic love story has changed.

"Bella what did you write for Edward's favorite book?" Alice asked. She looked up at me with worried eyes, she clearly didn't feel very confident about her answer. I squeezed her hand in encouragement.

"I remember once that you mentioned that The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka had an impact on you when you read it, you felt like you could relate to the main character's struggle with his change." I beamed back at her in agreement. How did she remember that, I spoke of it long before her change? I held up my paper to show her I wrote the same answer, causing her to clap her hands in delight and lean over to plant a quick kiss on my cheek.

"The score is two, two." Alice announced officially. Jasper chuckled to himself at his wife's enthusiasm. His thoughts reiterated his love for her. "Question number three, Rosalie what is your answer for Emmett?

"I said Antarctica for the polar bears." She replied.

"That is right Rose, I would love to try my hand at irritating one of those beasts. It would be great, less places for them to run in the tundra." Emmett light heartedly chuckled. "I answered Paris for Rose."

Rosalie hung her head down and shook her golden locks lightly from side to side.

"No!" Emmett cried. "What did you write?"

"I, um, wrote, The British Virgin Islands. I would love to be able to bask in the heat of the sun, though I know I never could." Rosalie finished in a whisper. She tried so hard to put on a brave face, but other than myself, she had the most difficult time accepting our limitations. Forever wishing she was a mortal human, even if it meant forfeiting the love of her life.

Everyone was silent for a long moment at Rosalie's admission. Alice broke the silence.

"Bella, what did you write for a place Edward would like to go?"

Bella's melodic voice answered, "Well, that was a tough one because I know that Edward has been a lot of places, I am sure more than he has ever told me about. But in the end, I decided it wasn't a geographic location. I answered, that the place he would like to go, but has never been is my thoughts," while locking eyes with me. There was so much love and trust in them I felt as if she truly was trying to let me in on her thoughts, but once again, I was not granted entrance. I nodded in agreement; amazed at how she completely understood me. I heard Emmett punch the seat as we moved ahead in the game.

"Edward, what did you write for Bella?" Alice asked.

"New York City." I responded. Bella has mentioned several times that she yearned to experience the feeling of the towering buildings blocking out the sunlight and the intensity of humanity all packed into such a small island. I have been many times and find it exhausting. The concentration of human scent is overwhelming even to my honed control. But, one day I would take my love there.

"That's right Edward." Bella smiled.

We carried on the same fashion, back and forth, for another two hours. All four of us admitting our greatest weakness were our spouses. The tension was growing with each verbalized answer. This was the last question and would mean the game. If Bella and I got them right, we would win.

"Rosalie, what did you answer for Emmett's favorite article of clothing of yours?" Alice chimed in.

"Well, this was hard because I really do have so many outfits that he likes, but I honestly have to say, my coveralls." Rosalie replied. Everyone exchanged confused glances. Of all of Rosalie's revealing outfits, why would Emmett like her greasy coveralls the best?

"That's right Rose!" Emmett exclaimed proudly.

"Emmett, why is that your favorite?" Jasper asked with a perplexed look from the driver's seat.

"Because she goes commando whenever she wears them." He smirked devilishly at his wife.

"Geez, Emmett, could you please control your thoughts a little better!" I cried out, as my mind was flooded with nude pictures of my sister.

Emmett turned in his seat, "Sorry Edward, can't help it." He said turning back to his wife with a goofy grin. Rose answered that she liked his Polo jeans the best, finishing in her thoughts _because of the way they made his butt look_. Again, more information than I needed.

Alice cranked her head around in the seat to look back at Bella and I. "Okay you two, if you both get this right, you will win! Bella what did you write for Edward's favorite piece of your clothing?"

Bella looked down with a shy smile, "I wrote the nightgown I wore on our wedding night. The one you helped me pick out Alice."

If she were still human, she most certainly would have been blushing, like she had been when I first laid eyes on her in our hotel room. Since she no longer could, she had taken to adorably biting her lower lip when she was nervous or embarrassed, which she was doing now. I had to fight my overwhelming urges to grab her beautiful face and passionately kiss her right in front of everyone. Between her adorable lips and the image of her in that nightgown – I was nearly going crazy with want for her.

"Edward, is that right?" Alice asked.

"Why yes it is Alice." I replied, not taking my eyes off of Bella. "I answered my white, sleeveless button down shirt." Knowing that the day I wore that shirt to the meadow, on our first date, that Bella nearly fainted. She had often requested for me to wear that shirt. Bella nodded her head as a huge grin spread across her face.

"Edward and Bella win!!!" Alice cried out. "You guys are going to love your new room!"

"Crap!" Emmett yelled and Rosalie turned to the window to pout.

I wasted no time showing Bella how much I loved her. I closed the distance between us, holding her porcelain face in my hands, bringing her lips within centimeters of mine, deeply breathing her in. She eagerly threw her arms around my neck, not allowing the separation to continue. There was the familiar shock of electricity as our mouths connected, fitting together perfectly, moving as one.

_Look who's talking Edward. The lust coming from the back of the truck could stand on its own!_ Jasper chuckled to himself as he looked in the rearview mirror. The comment did not cause me to separate from my love, but my lips pulled up slightly in a devilish grin against hers. After a few more second I altered my attack and buried my lips behind her ear then nibbled on her lobe.

"I can barely control myself love, thankfully we are almost to the hotel." I lustfully murmured in her ear as I ran my fingers down her neck. She let out a little whimper causing me further delightful agony.

_I'm driving as fast as I can Edward; Carlisle is going to wonder what the hell the hurry is_. Jasper said to me in his thoughts, causing me to chuckle under my breath, and then returning my attention to my breathtaking wife.


	16. Chapter 16

We departed Detroit early on the second day and were scheduled to arrive at our new home by late afternoon. I drove the last leg with Bella next to me, quietly holding hands as the Great Lakes passed on our left, finally leading into the thick forests of the Adirondack Park.

Alice was impatiently bouncing up and down in the back of the truck. Jasper had tried several times to calm her, but to no avail because her enthusiasm only increased as we got closer. She was the only one that had seen a vision of Esme's chosen house, I was careful to block her thoughts, and her excitement was wearing off on all of us as we turned off the main road.

We pulled up the long private drive, it was canopied over with think evergreen trees letting little sunlight filter through to the snow covered ground. You could sense the wildlife everywhere, teeming with the freedom this vast park allowed them. Bella squeezed my hand as the trees opened up and the house came into view. It was expansive – a three story log cabin structure with a wrap around porch. It was situated on the eastern cliff of Chazy Lake and I could see the land drop off just past the back deck.

We stopped the cars in the circular driveway and everyone quickly exited. Alice was dancing and skipping towards the front porch, pulling Jasper behind her. I grabbed Bella's hand and followed, surprised at my own excitement.

"Wait for your mother!" Carlisle called out as Esme hurried towards the front door with the keys. She opened the heavy, wooden door and we all stepped inside.

My immediate thought was that this house was completely different from our home in Forks. It had the same two-story foyer, but its walls were primarily composed of exposed logs, lending immediate warmth even with its large size and open floor plan. A great percentage of the walls held tall windows that showcased the view over the lake and the surrounding woods. The open staircase was situated near the front door and the entire first floor was open, even the industrial stainless steel kitchen at the rear. There was a long island with stools lined up and a dining room to the left of the kitchen. At the epicenter of the house, on the other side of the staircase, was a large four-sided stone fireplace, with glass doors on all sides. On both the left and right side, there were cozy seating areas of brown, buttery leather couches and chairs, as well as reading lamps. The floors were a natural, knotty pine with hand-knotted kilm wool rugs scattered throughout in warm earth tones of amber, red, brown and cream.

Esme led the tour up the stairs to the second floor. The upstairs railing encircled the second floor granting a view from all four sides to the downstairs.

"Alice and Jasper, this is your room since there is a conjoining study. Our room and Carlisle's study is across the hall." Esme said to Alice as she jumped up and down with excitement. Jasper looked shocked at the size of his study. The walls were floor to ceiling with built in bookcases and in the center were two large captains chairs, to the left was a rather grand looking cherry desk with his old typewriter.

Heading up to the third floor, there were two bedrooms, one facing the front of the house, the other the back.

"I understand you and Bella won the Newlywed Game, Edward. Which bedroom would you like?" Esme said while smiling at us.

I quickly pulled Bella to the bedroom at the front of the house and then the one in the back. They were similar - both had fireplaces and master bathrooms, except the one at the rear was slightly larger and had an entire wall that overlooked the lake with a small deck.

"We will take the one at the back." I smiled while Bella exuberantly nodded her head in excitement.

We went in the room. The floors were also hardwood, but slightly darker than downstairs, with several plush cream area rugs. There was a tall peaked ceiling and the fireplace was on the left wall. There was a sliding glass door that led to the deck that looked out over the entire lake. The view was amazing. It felt like we were at the top of the trees. The bathroom was large with earth colored tiled walls, granite counter top on the double vanity, a two-person Jacuzzi tub, and shower with six separate showerheads.

Bella's mouth just hung open in shock. I was pretty astounded myself. Without even having seen it, I knew it would be the best house I would ever live in simply because Bella and I were starting our life here; but now that I have seen it, it is without a doubt the most amazing home Esme has ever procured for the family.

"Esme! Where is the wide screen TV? Where are I am supposed to beat Edward's butt in Playstation?" Emmett yelled up the stairs.

"Look in the basement Emmett." Esme calmly responded. I heard Emmett thud down the stairs located under the main staircase.

"Holy cow! Jasper, Edward, you have to come see this!" Emmett yelled from two floors below us.

Bella and I chuckled at his childlike enthusiasm and headed downstairs to meet Jasper, Alice and Carlisle descending from the second floor. Jasper playfully rolling his eyes at me. We made our way down the stairs into a very spacious room that could only be described as a "man-den". There was a ten-foot movie screen with a rear projector and state of the art home theatre system stacked in the wall on either side. All of Emmett's game consoles were set up with the games in a glass display case. He was running around like a giddy boy. Rose was standing there eying him, with her arms crossed, trying to hold back a laugh. The other side of the room had a pool table, dartboard, and double French doors that led out to a stone patio underneath the deck off of the first floor.

Esme came up behind us. "I thought you boys needed your own room for your wrestling matches. There is nothing breakable down here." She laughed. "And, I want Bella's input on how to decorate your new room, so it feels like hers too."

"Thanks Esme, that's really nice. As long as I share the room with Edward, I don't really care how it is decorated." Bella shrugged.

"Bella don't be ridiculous!" Alice exclaimed, "You are a Cullen now, of course you care how it looks," while shaking her head. Bella giggled in response.

"Esme, where would be the best place for me to put my piano when it arrives?" I asked.

"There is a nice area at the front of the house to the right of the front door that I think will be good Edward. Take a look and let me know what you think. The floor plan is so open, we can move things if it doesn't fit well there." Esme said while smiling. She knew how important my piano was to me and she treasured hearing me play it.

"Thanks Esme." I replied while pulling Bella back upstairs. She still had a silly grin on her face as she took it all in. We spent the next hour exploring the house.

"Edward, I can't get over how big this house is, yet it still feels warm and cozy." Bella said as we rested our elbows on the railing of the back deck, overlooking the lake.

"I know. She always seems to find homes that are a perfect representation of the area that we are living in." I said. "Do you know what kind of furniture you want for our bedroom?" Pulling her to my chest.

"Um, well," fingering her chin in thought, "I have always wanted a really big sleigh bed, with dark wood." She said while staring out over the treetops.

"Then it shall be yours. I will let Esme know." I replied with a smile. I looked at Bella's eyes and noticed that they were darker than usual. I cupped her chin with my hand bringing her eyes to meet mine. "You thirsty love?"

"I haven't really thought about it, but now that you mention it, I am a little. Do you want to check out the woods?" She said while kissing under my chin.

"Well, no I would rather take you upstairs and break in that shower…but I think it would be a good idea to take you hunting. I am sorry I didn't think of it sooner." I replied with my eyes closed, relishing the feeling of the little kisses she was placing on my neck.

"Please don't apologize. I didn't even realize it. I'm fine." She said against my skin.

Much to my dismay, my brother then interrupted us. "What you are two up to out here?" Emmett asked with a boyish grin.

"We were just talking about going hunting." She responded, obviously not adding the rest of the conversation.

"Sure you were." He replied with a wink to Bella. "Well, if that is indeed the case, then we are all heading out in a few minutes to explore, see what this park has to offer other than deer." He finished, while waving his hand at the woods and then turning on his heel and going back inside.

I was just turning my attention back to my wife when Rosalie poked her head outside. "Edward, have you seen the garage? It's incredible, even bigger than the one in Forks. You could add to your collection." She said with a big grin. I liked that idea. I hadn't bought a new car in a while.

"Edward, you don't even drive half of the cars that you own." Bella said with a little scowl, her fine eyebrows knitting together.

"Love, that is not the point of collecting cars. But I will keep that in mind. Maybe the next one needs to be a big truck. I know how you love to go off-roading." I said with a grin. Bella just rolled her eyes at me.

Within fifteen minutes we were all racing into the woods, each couple branching off in different directions. Esme said the house had a hundred acres with it and there were other no houses anywhere near the property lines. There were so many areas to explore, rolling hills and rock out cliffs, acre after acre of tall evergreen and deciduous tree with low shrub undergrowth. I was excited to get to know these woods, but not tonight. Tonight I only had my wife on my mind.

We spent about an hour and half hunting. Bella found a heard of white tale and I surprisingly found a two coyotes to take. We were the first back to the house as the sun was passing behind the mountain on the opposite side the lake, lighting the windows in with an orange glow. I hastily pulled Bella up to our room, into our bathroom and closed the door.

"What has gotten into you Edward?" She asked, giggling at my enthusiasm.

"I told you, I think we need to check out this big shower." I replied with a smirk. I motioned to turn on the shower controls when she pulled me away. I looked at her with a pouty scowl.

"Relax, my husband, I think we should test out the Jacuzzi tub instead." She said with a grin, pulling me across the bathroom. She sat down on the edge and turned on the faucet as hot as it would go. The steam quickly thickened the air. "Look, Esme even put bubble bath in here, mmm, freesia." She said seeing it on the counter and then adding some to the water. It smelled delicious. The bubbles instantly started to take over the surface of the water.

Bella turned to me and started to lift my t-shirt over my head. I willing obliged and once my hands were free I began unbuttoning her jeans and pushed them over her slim hips. We were quickly void of clothing and I helped her step into the hot bathwater. We both sat down, she between my legs with her back to my chest, my arms wrapped around her resting on her stomach. The heat of the water and her skin against mine felt remarkable.

"What do you think of the house love?" I whispered in her ear as I rubbed her shoulders.

"What do I think? It's like nothing I have ever seen before. It is perfect. There is enough room for everyone to have privacy, but adequate family area as well. I love the 'man-den.' I can hone my wrestling moves down there," she chuckled, "and the surrounding land is gorgeous. I have always wanted to live right on the water. I bet the fall is amazing here." She was grinning as she looked out the bathroom window next to the tub.

"I have been fortunate enough to experience the autumns in the northeast and they are spectacular. All of the hills and mountains look like they are on fire with the orange, red and yellows. Maple trees are my favorite, they tend to have the brightest leaves."

I went on to tell her about how all the seasons in this area are, very different from Forks, and definitely from Phoenix, very defined from one to the other. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and I lived in Vermont just before Alice and Jasper joined our family. It doesn't seem that much has changed here for the last fifty years. The park is still fairly wild and thankfully not too many new houses have been built.

"Some day I would like to take you to Toronto or Quebec. They are wonderful cities, very different from those in the US. Alice _loves_ to go shopping in Toronto." Bella groaned at that notion.

"Now that I seem to be more confident, I wonder how soon it will be until she drags me shopping in Plattsburgh?" Bella asked quizzically.

"Unfortunately, I think that Alice and Rose are going to be sorely disappointed in the shopping options in Plattsburgh. I'm not sure there is much there, it's a fairly small town. But we aren't too far from New York City, Boston or Canada. If they feel the need, I'm sure they will make the drive." I mused. Nothing could stop my sisters if they were on a mission to shop.

Bella twisted in my arms so her stomach was pressed against mine. I could feel her breasts, slippery from the water, against my chest and instantly all thoughts of Alice's shopping habits faded away.

"Edward, what are we going to do in our room tonight if don't have a bed? We always spend our nights cuddled up like when I was human." She asked devilishly as she stretched her neck to kiss under my chin and then down to my collarbone. I felt my eyes involuntarily close in delight. I tightened my arms around her waist, letting my hand slide in the water to her bottom, then up her sides pulling her up my torso until our lips met.

"Would you like to try out the shower now?" I murmured against her lips. She nodded into mine, letting her lips pull up in a smirk. In one swift movement I lifted her out of the tub and carried her into the shower, turning on the water in the process, then placing her on her feet, our lips never disconnecting.

The hot water ran over our bodies, washing the bubbles off, and then swirled around our feet. Jets sprayed from every direction and the large one overhead felt like standing in a downpour. I gently washed her hair as she did mine, both of us getting chills from each other's touch. I moved Bella against the tiled wall, pressing my body to hers as I guided my lips up and down both sides of her neck. Her hands were clutching my sides as she released little whimpers of pleasure. If we were human, her fingers would have surely pierced right through my skin.

I reached under her arms, lifting her on the wall as she wrapped her legs around my waist, both of us letting out a gasp as we connected in the most primitive of ways. Her fingers were running wildly through my wet hair, clenching her fits to tighten her grasp on me. Our lips dancing against one another

"Oh God Bella. I need you so much." I hummed against her chest, letting ourselves find our gentle, blissful rhythm. The only words that slipped through her beautiful lips were my name, over and over, sending me into a state of pure ecstasy. Eventually ending with the glorious warmth of release, pulsing through me like embers in a fire. Bella collapsed against me, her head on my shoulder.

I carried her out of the shower, without removing her legs from around my waist. Setting her on the edge of the tub and wrapping her in a large bath towel, then wrapping one around my waist. I then lifted her in my arms and carried her into our room, immediately noticing that someone had started a fire. I was certain it was Alice – I would thank her later. I laid Bella on the plush area rug that was placed in front of the fireplace and covered both of our bodies with a cozy blanket. We were silent and still for several hours, just relishing the warmth the fire lended to our bodies, which were so close, it was hard to tell where I stopped and she began.

"Edward," her sweet voice finally breaking through the quiet.

"Yes love?" I replied without opening my eyes, my mind replaying every moment of the previous hours.

"I think we are going to be very happy here." She mused.

"I couldn't agree more."


	17. Chapter 17

I finally let go of the notion that I didn't deserve happiness and that something or someone was eventually going to come and take it all away. Almost three years had passed since we spent that first evening lying in front of the fire. As Bella and I had suspected during those dark, wintry hours, we have been very happy. It is amazing how whole I felt, having let the fear go.

Bella and I attended college in Plattsburgh and were now full-time students on campus almost daily, along with our siblings. She was on track to receive her Bachelors in English next year and I was finishing my degree in Biochemistry with a minor in Anthropology. I had found the courses on human evolutionary theories very interesting and had done my own research to see if there was any scientific evidence of our kind along the evolutionary path. I hadn't come up with anything, but felt certain that if I dug deep enough into the research annals I would.

Over the course of the years Bella had further strengthened her relationships with all of our family members, especially Rose. She had taken up painting with Esme, though Bella's creations were quite different from hers, much more abstract, but beautiful all the same. Her and Jasper were constantly bickering over literature and the pros and cons of each time period. Jasper was a classics man - Greek mythology was his favorite. Bella of course tended towards the love stories of Shakespeare and Jane Austen. Therein lies the problem. They knew they would never see eye to eye, but they have yet to stop trying to convert one another.

Bella tried on several occasions to accompany Rose in the garage but mechanical aptitude did not come easily to her. Math had always been one of her weaker subjects. But to Bella's credit, she and Rose found a way to connect - Bella would read to her while she worked on our vehicles. Rosalie was generally appalled at any of the weak female characters in Bella's books, but the conversations that they had as a result of the stories were very meaningful. That is one thing I never let myself even hope for, Bella and Rosalie become close. But, it seemed, that all my dreams and more had come true with Bella by my side.

And, to my dismay, Emmett and my wife had taken up weekly wrestling matches in the man-den. They would watch ultimate fighting and then attempt the contorted configurations on each other. As a result, Bella rarely let me win our bouts unless I stooped so low as to dazzler her. Then I always triumphed. I felt my insides glow at the idea that I could still affect her that way, even if at times I used it unethically.

The new home proved to be everything we anticipated and hoped it would be, a haven for the family, a prime location for hunting, access to a few large cities when we needed to get out, and above all, the place we wanted to be the most.

Bella had had a few opportunities to hone her gift. Most instances were by chance, us being in the woods and coming across an injured animal. She had on several occasions healed animals after she fed from them, now having gained the control to stop feeding before their heart did. But generally she didn't utilize her power, no longer being a newborn, it drained her very much and afterwards she would need to hunt and rest for a day.

It was autumn now, which had grown to be Bella and my favorite time of year. The air was crisp and cool, with a slightly overcast sky, and the leaves were nearing their peak performance. I was sitting on the deck looking at the lake, absorbed in thought when I heard Jasper come downstairs with the intent of coming outside to ask me if I would like to join him fly fishing. He had become rather skilled and we both enjoyed the peacefulness of it. Our wives and Rosalie had taken a trip to Toronto for the weekend to go shopping. I rose from my chair and eyed Jasper through the glass door, giving him a small nod in acceptance to his offer. I made my way around the side of the house to the garage where we stored all of the equipment and he was already there gathering the necessaries.

"Where do you want to go today?" I inquired to my brother.

"How about we try that small river that comes off of Miner Lake, the one we went to last week?" He suggested while casually shrugging his shoulders, then bending down to pick up the tackle box containing all of his carefully crafted flies.

"Sounds good to me." I replied. At this point I was up for anything to make the time pass until my wife came home this evening. I missed her terribly. Over the course of our marriage we had only been apart a few times, all for family related outings. We agreed that they were important, to spend time with our siblings, but the separation made both of us ache terribly inside. By the end of the trip, the longing for one another was tangible.

Jasper and I loaded the equipment into Emmett's Jeep and headed toward the river. Upon arrival we commenced our unspoken routine, putting on our waders, more for show than to keep us warm and dry, and found spots on the edge of the water to begin our dance with the fish. We continued on in this fashion for several hours, taking in the beauty that surrounded us. Jasper was considerately blocking me from is thoughts so that I could get lost in mine. It was not until we were packing up to head for home that our silence was broken.

"Does Bella still speak with her parents?" He asked while placing our tackle boxes in the truck.

"Not too often any more. Charlie and her have taken to corresponding in letters. Alice made several attempts to show him how to use the Internet, but he couldn't get the hang of it. They write probably once a month. Come to think of it, she hasn't heard from him in a while." I answered. The arrangement seemed to be working out well for both of them, so I didn't question it.

"What about her mom?" Jasper inquired as we climbed into the Jeep.

"Her mom's another story. She has made several attempts to visit and Bella has always come up with a reason to stop her. She knows her mom is upset that she hasn't seen her since our wedding. They have been emailing less and less lately."

"Wouldn't it just be easier, instead of all of the convoluted stories, to fake her death?" Jasper asked with sincere curiosity. His thoughts corresponded with his words, unlike other family members, who tended to be judgmental of Bella's choice.

"To be honest, probably, but I promised her before we got married and I changed her that I would leave that decision up to her. None of us came into this life the way that she did, by choice, and therefore I don't think we have a say in how she should handle the final separation from her parents. She had made no indication to me that she is ready to make that decision. I know she will tell me when she is. But, I do worry that the longer she waits, the harder it will be." I said, the concern evident as my voiced trailed off.

"Do you know what she is waiting for?" Again, his sincerity poured out in his thoughts. He truly did want to understand what Bella was going through. They had become so close since he no longer had to fight his natural urges around her.

"Honestly I don't. She has never said that is was anything in particular that was holding her back and I don't push the issue." I answered while we pulled into the driveway.

As the house came into sight we saw that the girls were unloading their purchases from the back of the X5. Jasper and I looked over to exchange goofy grins. Jasper's mind relayed his excitement to see his wife, how dearly he had missed her. I took comfort in my family's loving thoughts, that after all of their years together, the love that they held for each other hadn't faded one ounce.

My long-stilled heart began to soar as Bella came into view at the entrance to the house.

Her head was down - she hadn't noticed us pulling up the drive. My gaze was locked on her. As always, she was indescribably beautiful. Rosalie and Alice had her dressed in an outfit much more fitted than she normally wore, black pants and a cropped black cardigan with a bright blue tank top underneath, and high-heeled black boots. It looked like they had done her hair as well – it was in loose waves that bounced around her delicate shoulders.

Her vision lifted to the Jeep and a glorious smile spread across her face. I felt my entire stone hard body warm at the sight of it. Before she could even blink, I was out of the Jeep and by her side, bringing her into a tight embrace, breathing her heady scent in deeply, allowing the ache to subside, as I let out a sigh of contentment.

"I feel better too." She murmured into my chest. I released a hearty chuckle at how in tune we were to one another.

"Did you have a good time shopping?" I asked as I pulled her away just enough so I could look into her warm, amber eyes.

"Yes we did. As always, Alice and Rosalie have more shopping stamina than I am prepared for, but we did have a good time. I purchased a few of new outfits and I got some things for you as well." She smiled.

"For me? How nice of you. But I am more interested in what you bought. Will you be showing me later?" I requested with a gleam in my eye.

"I think that could be arranged." She replied, the same glint of desire in hers.

We all headed inside the house, Jasper and Emmett had their wives happily at their sides. Carlisle and Esme were inside sitting on one of the couches by the fireplace. Both put down their books as the six of us interrupted their serenity.

"The power shoppers are home," Carlisle exclaimed, holding up his hand in delight, "and how are the bounties of your hunt?" He asked playfully. Esme smiled at the sight of her children, happy to have them all home.

"The retailers of Toronto still don't know what hit them!" Alice replied while carrying no less than ten bags. Everyone was laughing as Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett held up the same amount in their hands.

Alice and Rosalie began their recount of the trip, easily sighting every store that they went into as well as their pros and cons. Bella was standing patiently next to me, my hand draped over the shoulder, letting her sisters have their fun, but at the same time tightening her hold around my torso. After twenty minutes I could no longer take it, I had to get her alone. I kissed the top of her head and took in a deep breath of her strawberry shampoo. Her head tilted back so she could look at my face; both of us letting a mischievous grin spread across our lips.

"Alice and Rosalie, thank you for a great weekend. I really had fun. I have to excuse myself though, I have some things to prepare for my classes tomorrow." She said with an innocent smile.

"Okay Bella, but be sure to show Edward those outfits." Alice replied looking at me with a big grin. Bella nodded and turned to head upstairs, her loot in tow. I stood with my family for another few moments, not sure how long I had to wait until I could retreat upstairs.

_Well don't just stand there stupid! Go be with your wife, she missed you terribly this weekend. _Alice said chastising me. I gave her a small nod and smile in return and turned on my heel to head upstairs.

"Oh Edward, before you go, there is a letter for Bella on the kitchen counter." Esme said.

"Thanks Esme." I replied as I walked into the kitchen to retrieve the envelope and head upstairs to my love.

I entered our bedroom, which Bella and Esme had decorated within a week of us moving into the house. Bella found the mahogany king-sized sleigh bed that she had wanted and it was situated across the room from the fireplace. On the wall that held the door there was a mahogany desk that we shared, covered in our college textbooks. I no longer had rows and rows of CD's, they had all been downloaded onto a central hard drive that was wired to the whole-house audio and video system. Next to the fireplace they had placed a two-person chaise lounge that was covered in a dark sage green fabric. The walls were also a shade of green, though paler, and the bedding she chose was a deep, wine color with black and crème accents. The room was very warm and inviting. It was our room.

She had placed her purchases on the bed and was in the bathroom.

"Are you going to put on a show for me?" I asked playfully as I went over to sit on the chaise.

"Maybe. What do you want to see?" She replied from behind the bathroom door, with the same playful tone.

"Well, I am actually not as interested in you putting the clothing on as I am in me taking them off of you." I answered casually.

"Well, Mr. Cullen, aren't you being presumptuous." She said, faked abashment in her voice. I let out a hearty chuckle at our easy banter, my eyes fixed out the sliding glass door. The bathroom door swung open and drew my attention away from the treetops. Bella was standing in a black cocktail dress that hugged every glorious curve accentuating everything that made her a woman.

Once I found my voice I said, with one eyebrow raised, "How do you expect me to not be presumptuous when you are wearing _that?_" I felt the lust roll off of me in waves. She slowly sauntered over to me with a wicked grin on her face.

"So you like it?" She asked casually. Images of our wedding night flickering back to me, intensifying my emotions

"That's an understatement love." I said while repeatedly taking her in with my dark gaze.

Her eyes fell to the envelope in my hand. In my haste to be alone with her, I had completely forgotten about it.

"What's that?" She said pointing to the letter.

"Oh, sorry. Esme said it came today for you. Judging from the handwriting, I would say it's from your dad." I replied while extending my arm out to hand it to her.

"Can you read it to me while I change into the next outfit?" She said while turning around to head into the bathroom, she didn't close the door this time.

"Sure, but if the next one is anything like that one, we aren't going to get very far." I said lightly but feeling the tension of desire burning in my core.

I eventually tore my gaze away from the bathroom entrance and opened the letter. I unfolded the paper and once again saw Charlie's small, slanted handwriting, very similar to his daughters.

"Hi Bells, I hope that things are well with you and that school is still good. I can't believe you only have one more year to go until you are a college graduate. I hope that you and Edward aren't working too hard and have had a chance to see some of New York. I hear it is a beautiful state." I could already tell that Charlie was avoiding saying something, his letters were never this wordy, generally straight to the point. Something like, _Hope you and Edward are good and you are getting a four point oh. Miss you kid, haven't had a good meal since you left. Love, Dad._

Bella came out wearing her bathrobe and began rustling around in her bags then returned to the bathroom with a new outfit. I continued, "Work is good. Same old, same old. I heard from Jacob the other day. He and Sarah had some exciting news…" I faltered, my normally smooth, confident voice leaving me as I absorbed the next words - _they had a baby girl last week_. I felt my cold heart drop to my stomach. A baby. I had a sudden, breath-taking pain that radiated to my core. It felt akin to the pain of an extreme loss, one I thought I would never have to experience again. It felt like almost too much to bear. Why would I feel that way?

"Edward, why did you stop? What was their news? Did Jacob finally start college?" She said poking her head out of the bathroom, donning her next outfit. Her bright eyes instantly dimmed when she took stock of my face. I was unable to mask my unfathomable anguish, so I attempted to hide it in my hands.

"Edward, what is it?" She said in a hushed voice, rushing over to my side. I couldn't reason with my reaction, it seemed completely ludicrous to be so upset about the _birth_ of a child, one that wasn't even ours…and never could be. When I did not respond she pulled the letter from my hands and continued reading.

"He and Sarah had some exciting news. They had a baby girl last week…" She stopped as well and looked down at me. Taking in a deep breath of air, she continued, "They named her Mary Isabella, Mary for his mom and the middle name after you…" pausing again with a quick intake of unnecessary air. "He said that you helped him a lot after his car accident. I'm not sure how you helped him Bells since you were away at college, but I'm really proud of you kid, for making the effort to reconnect with Jake. Take care, love you, Dad." She finished in barely a whisper, her voice wavering.

She collapsed her small frame next to me and I quickly pulled her to my chest, holding on to her like a drowning person. I have rarely wished for the release of tears in the last century, but I desperately wished for them now.

After just a few moments, Bella stiffened under my hold, squared her shoulders and motioned to get up, gently pushing my arms off of her. "Well that's great for Jacob and Sarah. I bet they are very excited." She didn't look at me as she spoke. She then walked into the bathroom and quietly closed the door.

If she was seemingly fine with their news, I should be too. Upon further consideration, I was not surprised by their news. We had heard from Charlie, nearly two years ago, that they were married. The one thing I thought certain I would never desire or miss since having been cast into this existence would be a child, so why this intense pain? Was it for Bella, my concern for her?

It had been several minutes and I had not heard her. I composed myself and went over to the bathroom door. "Love, you okay in there?"

After a moment, she responded, "Yeah Edward, I'm fine. Just go downstairs and join everyone, I'll be down as soon as I put my clothes away." Her voice had a slight edge to it.

I turned to leave the bedroom and headed downstairs, suddenly feeling completely lost. I heard my family members in their rooms with their spouses, jubilantly discussing the recent trip. Without a thought, I found myself sitting at my piano. Esme was right, the front corner of the house was a perfect location for it. I had found I hadn't played it that much since we moved, finding I was more drawn to it in times of pain, such as now. Playing provided an indescribable release. I could lose myself in the complex combinations of the notes. The way the melodies were woven together with a grounding beat.

Again, without thought, I was playing Bella's lullaby. The sweet notes pulling at my heartstrings and filling me with her ever present love, but my thoughts turned darker at the recent events and I was then increasing the beat and lowering the key. My eyes closed, for I couldn't stand to keep them open, to look around me at our loving home. It suddenly felt so utterly empty.

After playing for what seemed like hours, I was not finding my vital release. I knew whom I needed to speak with. I opened up to his thoughts and found Esme and him in his study. At a human's pace, I made my way up a flight of stairs to the closed door.

"Come in Edward." Carlisle's soft voice called from behind the door. I entered the study to find Carlisle behind his desk and Esme seated next to him in a leather armchair. Carlisle appeared to be going through some financial information. As I walked in he put the documents down and appeared to be studying me.

"That was lovely playing Edward. We haven't heard it in so long." Esme said with a loving smile.

"What's troubling you?" He asked with his always reassuring and fatherly voice.

I let out a big sigh, "Is it that obvious?" Feeling unable to recompose my facial features to hide my confusion.

"Well yes, you have had a smile on your face practically since we move here. Your endearing temper has since but disappeared. What is going on, where's Bella?" Esme asked in the gentlest of tones.

"She's in our room putting away her purchases. She said she would be down in a little while. This is actually about the letter that she received. It was from Charlie." I paused my eyes cast to the floor, an unfamiliar lump in my throat.

"What did it say son, what has you so upset. Is Bella's father okay?" Carlisle asked.

"No, Charlie is fine. He said that he recently spoke with Jacob Black."

Carlisle cut me off, "Are they changing their mind on the treaty?" his voice taking on a more official tone.

"No, there was no mention of that. I don't believe that Sam will go back on his word. He actually had news that Jacob and his wife just had a baby girl, Mary Isabella." I heard a small gasp of air from Esme. She had once had a son, he had died when he was very little, and thankfully we had been able to fill in the void left in her motherly instincts. Her thoughts then turned to Rosalie and her internal battles with never being able to bear children.

"That's nice to hear that Jacob is doing okay since his father passed away." Carlisle said while eying his wife, whose gaze was now blank and focused on the closed door.

"Yes, it was nice to hear I suppose, not that I have ever put much concern into Jacob Black." I said with no emotion on my voice. It didn't feel at all nice to hear. For some unknown reason it felt as though I had just been told one of my family members had died. I was feeling ever more foolish for my unexplained reaction especially considering that Bella, the one I should be concerned about, appeared to be taking the news fine. Sure she seemed a little taken aback, but not really upset.

"How is Bella?" Esme asked, her gaze releasing the door and refocusing on me.

"She seems fine with it." I didn't elaborate on my thoughts that sometimes it was hard to tell with Bella. She had a tendency to be stubborn when it came to expressing her emotions. But, to her credit, she had changed a lot over the years.

There was a long moment of silence, everyone lost in thought. I heard Carlisle's concern for me.

_It's okay to be upset by the news son. It is a perfectly normal reaction to feel a sense of loss at what you and Bella can never have. I believe we have all struggled with it to a certain extent._

I looked up at my father figure, the one that had known me the longest, and who even in my darkest hours seemed to understand me. Could this unexplainable pain be _my_ own sense of loss? Never in my long existence had I ever considered that not being able to create a child would be a sacrifice. It's just how it was. I had accepted it…or so I thought

But, the longer that Bella and I were together, the happier we became, the more it felt like it could be an incalculable sacrifice. A child is a physical product of the love that two people shared. I loved Bella more than I thought possible, every day it grew stronger, and yet we would never be granted that gift. I did not ever voice these flitting feelings to Bella, because I had never taken the time to acknowledge them. Even if I had, I wouldn't have mentioned it to her, especially considering before her change she had tried desperately to convince me that particular sacrifice wouldn't be one for her.

At one time, not that long ago, respectively speaking, I had considered myself complete without a companion. I had since been proven very wrong having been bestowed with Bella's heart. Her love made me feel more complete and whole than any human or vampire could dream possible. Could I be under the same misconception now? That Bella and I are complete without being able to produce a child? To me it was different, finding a companion had always been an option, though not a probable one, but a child is not possible in our form. I refused to accept that this limitation could define our love, a love that was stronger than any I had ever seen.

I looked up at both of my parental figures as I finally came to understand the origin of this feeling. If I was in this state, with my humanity long since left me, how must Bella be feeling?

"If you will please excuse me, I need to go speak with my wife." I said solemnly, looking at them both and exiting the study. Both of their minds were flooded with concern for Bella and me, causing my spirits to lift ever so slightly at their love for us.

As I entered our bedroom, I saw Bella sitting on the bed once again in her robe, her thin legs dangling over the side, staring out the sliding glass door. Seeing her solemn stare, I was suddenly overcome with the fear that she was finally regretting her decision to join our life. I know if I were in her place, I certainly would. I had taken so much from her on that fateful morning in the Seattle hotel room. These painful doubts had not been spoken of since that last day in our meadow, we had happily moved on, believing that all of our concerns and worries were far behind us.

Over the years, I truly believed that we had gained so much more from her change than just physical equality, but now I wasn't so sure, for what if the one loss was too much to bear. I went to sit next to my wife, taking her delicate hand from her lap in mine, as always, relishing the way they fit so perfectly together. Her gaze slowly rose to meet mine. There was such sadness in her beautiful, amber eyes. I wanted to do whatever I could to take it away, but I was too overcome by my own emotions.

Instead, we sat there in silence for over an hour, side by side, the gentle rhythm of our breaths marching to the same beat. When she finally spoke, her sweet melodic voice pulled me out of my fantasies of our inconceivable children running around the house, through the woods, laughing, and playing. They were beautiful, and not in our unnatural ways; in every way that a sweet innocent child was, perfectly human.

I took in a gulp of air to try and speak before she did, to say that I understood if she was angry with me, what I had done to her, if she regretted choosing me, but the words refused to come out.

"Edward, I know what you are thinking, that I regret my decision to be with you, to be one of you. That couldn't be farther from the truth." Her big, innocent eyes bore through me.

"It's not?" I responded with incomprehension, my voice cracking with emotion.

"No, I have _never_ for one second of the last three years regretted my choices, our choices. You have made me happier than I ever dreamed I could be, than any one should hope to be. You and our family are everything I need and want in life and more." She paused, looking back at the treetops. "Then why are you sad? I know that you are not completely okay with this unexpected news. Don't you, even for one moment, wish you had chosen Jacob so that it was you who had the child, not Sarah?" I said, my voice barely a whisper as I expressed my greatest fears. The one I had expended immense energy and emotion moving past, losing Bella.

"Never!" She shot back with ferocity in her voice and eyes, gripping my hand tightly. I had no doubt she was being truthful. "When are you going to understand that none of those human experiences mean anything to me without you." She shook my hand as she spoke. Her words were a forceful statement.

Then her expression softened. "But, you are right, I am sad, but not for those reasons. I am sad because I will never be able to give you what Sarah gave Jacob. I saw the expression on your beautiful face. I saw the hurt and pain hit you, so unexpectedly. Edward, I know you. I know you never allowed yourself to dream about things that aren't possible in this life. If it took you eighty years to accept that you weren't complete by yourself, I am certain this took you totally off guard. I am just sorry that I didn't and couldn't make it easier for you. That you have to come to terms with this the same way that I did." She said with loving conviction. "When I saw the shock and sadness on your face, I wanted more than anything to take it all away, but I couldn't, I was too selfish, caught up in my own emotions." Her head hung down at her admission.

"Bella, my love," I responded, bringing her fingers to my lips. "How can you possibly feel responsible for not being able to bare children when I am the one that took that away from you? That is ludicrous. I love you, everything that you are and will become. You cannot feel responsible for my shortcomings." Willing her to understand that I didn't blame, couldn't blame her. Not in the least.

"But Edward, they are not your shortcomings. They are who you are, the man I love with a fierceness that reaches deep in my soul. At the same time, I know you are "that guy", that as a human you were ready to settle down with a wife and children. I know this is hard for you to accept now that you have realized what has been lost." She paused and briefly glanced out the window, then returned her eyes back to me.

"Fate obviously had a different plan in mind for both of us, but I in _no_ way believe it is a lesser path. Where would I be now if I have chosen Jacob?" She waited for me to speak, but I didn't, couldn't. "Alone. No matter how much I would have tried to move on, to have that so-called normal human life, he would have left me when he met Sarah. He wouldn't have had a choice, just as I did not in loving you."

"I just, I don't…" I was struggling with expressing the throbbing that was radiating through my core and how I was suppose to accept it, to hope to move past it. I took a deep cleansing breath. "I don't know how to move past this. Just like when you came into my life and the only thing I knew how to do was run away, out of fear, the unknown. That is how I feel now. How can I feel so much sadness and pain for the loss of something I never knew I wanted – especially when up until this point I felt completely whole with your love?" Part of me felt incredible weak for my inabilities. The other part knew that only my Bella would be help to get me out of this despair, to see how to move on.

She lovingly pushed her head under my arm and wrapped hers around my waist, resting her head where my heart long ago had beat. I let my fingers run through her chestnut waves.

She spoke, "I don't know. It is an awful truth that our love, which is beyond perfect, can never result in children. We are in this together; it is our loss, not yours or mine separately, ours. I have just had more time to accept it. But, you can't pull away from me Edward. I need you too much. And you can't blame yourself for something that is neither in your control or your choice. We have _so much_ to be thankful for." She tilted her head up to lock her gaze with mine. "I love you Edward."

I didn't know what to say. Her unquestioning and nonjudgmental understanding seemed more that I could ever deserve. She knew me so well. I have never taken the time in all my years to accept this loss, but I knew I could, I would with her by my side, filling every empty part of me with her love. I slowly began to feel the constricting pain in my core lift. I loved this woman, my wife, my life.

"I love you too." Seemed inconsequential considering the breadth of emotions that we had just endured together, but at the same time, it said it all. I pulled her back so we were lying on the bed, limbs affectionately entwined. We stayed there until the morning sun began to glisten on the lake and reflect into our room. Not speaking a word, but feeling as though all that needed to be said, was.

"There is something that I need to do now." Her voice cracking from the hours spent silent, but still convicted.

"What is that love?" I replied, grazing my finger tips down her porcelain face to her slender neck.

"I need to die."


	18. Chapter 18

"Bella, are you sure?" I asked incredulously, my brows furrowed in concern. Bella, as always, had taken me completely by surprise with her train of thought. I should think that after five years, all of which I couldn't hear the inner-workings of her mind, I would be used to it by now, but I wasn't.

We were still lovingly entwined from the evening before, having not moved, as if we were in a deep slumber. One I would have thoroughly enjoyed after the emotional aftermath of yesterday.

"Don't you want to finish your degree first? All of your hard work will be lost." I added.

"Yes, I'm sure. It has been far too long really. I have been thinking about it for a while and now is as good time as any I suppose." She took in a deep breath and continued. "It is getting more and more difficult to appease my mom and I don't want to vanish from her life forever with her upset with me." I nodded in understanding, as I ran my hand up and down her smooth arm as she spoke. Of course it was important that Bella leave her parents on a fond note, not that faking her death would be at all fond for them, but after the shock I'm certain they would be left with only loving memories.

"Plus, I have eternity to go to college. I'm fine with not finishing this degree. It gives me a reason to try something new." She said casually. She certainly had a point. I had started and stopped college multiple times over the years.

We both fell silent again. I was twirling now my index finger around her chestnut curls, still in place from the previous day. It seemed like years, not hours, ago that we had been reunited in the driveway, feeling so carefree and happy. The sorrow that had agonizingly consumed me had certainly subsided - Bella's love filling the gaping hole that had unceremoniously appeared. I had accepted the loss and now it would just take time to heal, I knew that now, though I acknowledged it would never be completely gone. Just like the pain we had both endured during my forced separation, never totally vanishing, ever so slightly lingering to remind us of my past mistakes.

Being brought back to the present by her melodic whisper, "How do you think it should happen?"

I thought on that for a moment. It had to be an act that bodily remains would be unlikely, but at the same time still simple and believable. "How about we go camping and have an accident and never come home. But we would have to plant enough evidence that proves we died, so they didn't search for us." I said slowly, working it out as I talked, but with a slight excitement at the plotting that was involved. We would have to get Alice on board to make sure everything was accepted without question.

"Wait, Edward, you don't have to fake your death too. That would mean both of us would have to start over with new identities. That's just not necessary." She said tilting her head up to look me in the eye while shaking her head slightly.

"Bella, of course we both have to die!" I said. My voice finally rising to its normal volume as I pulled away enough to let our amber eyes fully connect. "First of all, I _want_ to go through this with you. To have to even pretend that you were dead…well I just couldn't bear it. It would bring back too many painful memories." I felt despair starting to wash over me and I quickly pushed it way, lightening my voice as I continued.

"Secondly, we are always together, I go where you go love. It would make more sense with the story. No one would believe you went camping alone. And third, I don't really care about starting over. I have done it countless times in the past and for much less important reasons," as I kissed her forehead.

She let out a small sigh, "Okay, I guess you're right, as usual. I just don't want it to be a bigger burden than it needs to me." As always she was more concerned about others than herself.

"No worries love, sadly, we are old hat at this." I hesitated, trying to decide if I should voice my next thought or wait until later. I wasn't sure, so I thought now was as good a time as any.

"Plus, we have to be together because I am going to whisk you away to someplace secluded, just the two of us. I haven't had you all to myself, in well, two and a half years and it is long over due." I said with a smile, pulling her back close to me and burying my lips in her hair. I felt her cheeks pull up in a smile against my chest.

"No, we were alone on our trip to New York City for our second anniversary." She said correcting me.

"You are right, but that was only a three day weekend. Not nearly long enough and it was over a year ago."

"Well, I can't argue with that. I'll let you whisk me away any day – even if it weren't for such a morbid reason." Her voice trailing off as it appeared to be sinking in _what_ we were so casually planning.

"Edward," she said in the most honey-toned voice. She looked up and her full, innocent eyes bore through me. "Do you think I can see my parents one last time, to say goodbye?"

I paused, not able to answer her immediately, internally weighing the options and their consequences. Her eyes were searching mine for understanding and acceptance of her request. How could I possibly deny her?

"I think it would be okay, but, we should ask Carlisle first before you get your hopes up." The intensity faded from her gaze and a small smile danced across her lips.

"I can accept that. Carlisle does know best about all of this…faking death stuff." She let out a dry chuckle at the absurdity of the conversation.

"Never a dull moment, huh?" I replied lightly.

"Nope." She said with a grin, shaking her head, and then stretching her neck to kiss my cheek.

We stayed in our rooms another few minutes. Then finally relinquished our hold on one another. We changed our clothes and headed downstairs to inform every one of our plans while we congregated in the living room around the fireplace. I told Carlisle of my idea of staging a camping accident. He agreed that could work.

"Alice, can you see anything?" He said turning to her. The entire family was incredibly supportive of Bella's decision. They had all seen the toll the convoluted lies and false pretenses had taken on Bella. She had always despised lying, especially to her parents, and now she had been at it, in one form or another, for over three years. Every time she corresponded with them it took a little bit of her away. Now, she was ready and had accepted that she had to hurt them one more time, to let them go, and truly give her self to this life, our life.

Alice closed her eyes for a moment, searching for a clear vision. When she opened them she had only a slight smile on her face, this was upsetting her as well, having to hurt Charlie.

"Yes, it will work. Charlie and Renee will accept the circumstances. I didn't see that he would investigate it further." Jasper sent a wave of calm and happiness through the room. I turned to him with a silence glance of thanks. He nodded in understanding, as Jasper always does.

"Bella, when would you like to do it?" Carlisle asked, placing a hand on her shoulder in reassurance.

"I think as soon as possible, but there is one thing I wanted to ask you first," she paused turning to look at me behind her, searching for support. I simply nodded for her to continue. "Do you think it would be alright if I went to see my parents one last time, just briefly, before we did this, before they think I've died?" Just like with me, her eyes were searching his for understanding.

Carlisle did not answer her immediately. I could hear him working through the scenarios in his mind. It seemed as though, as long as we were careful and they were brief visits, he would be supportive. He knew what it would mean to Bella.

He nodded in affirmation. "I think that would be okay. But, it must be a very short visit, less than twenty-four hours," he finished in his paternal tone.

"Thank you!" She exclaimed and threw her arms around her father figure, who let a big grin surface at the fact that he had made her so happy. Everyone else relaxed and smiled at Bella's reaction.

_I see why you always try to keep her happy Edward. Her happiness is contagious._ I smirked at his internal comment. He had no idea how wonderful a happy Bella was. It was like the sun that my world revolved around and drew its light and warmth from.

Alice grabbed Rosalie's hand and then turned to Bella. "If you want to see your parents, we have some work to do. We need to get you some colored contacts for starters. I'm certain Renee would notice your golden eyes." Bella nodded in acceptance.

"Alright, but I do not need any new outfits. This is not another reason to go shopping." She said while following her sisters up the stairs.

Once they were in Alice's room, Emmett and Jasper headed downstairs, Esme and Carlisle turned to me. "How are you doing Edward?" concern in his voice. Esme granted me her most loving, motherly smile.

"I'm okay, or I will be, in time. Bella and I talked through everything. She said she had come to terms with the awful truth before I even changed her." I paused, gathering my thoughts, knowing my parents would understand. "It's a hard pill to swallow, especially considering I had never in my hundred years really dealt with it, I didn't think I would ever have the chance to. But, Bella is so strong and loving. I don't know what I would do without her." I didn't add that I hoped for everyone sake that I didn't ever have to find out.

Esme spoke her thoughts, "I know it is hard to believe, but time does heal most things, and this pain too will subside and be but a memory," while holding my hand in hers. I gave her a small signal of understanding. Esme had endured so much pain as a human that it truly was a wonder she was as caring and loving as she was. I am certain Carlisle's eternal love for her helped her to heal, just as Bella's did me.

"Do you think that Bella is truly ready to go through with this now?" Carlisle asked.

"I do. I have not pushed her. In fact I questioned her when she brought it up. But, she's certain that it's time. No doubt it will be hard, to know she is inflicting such hurt on her parents, but it will provide some closure, unlike now where the more time goes on, the hard it becomes for all of them. Plus, I am planning a surprise vacation, to take her away from it all, when everyone is here for the funeral. If we stayed, it would just be too difficult."

"That's a very good idea Edward. You and Bella haven't gotten away by yourselves in a long time." Carlisle replied in support.

"I know. We have been so caught up in college life. I don't think I have ever enjoyed being a student so much before." I smiled.

"Well, having the love of your life with you certainly does make a difference." Esme said while smiling up at her husband.

"I am going to go see what form of torture my sisters are inflicting on her at this point." I said.

"We're glad you are doing better son." Carlisle said while placing a hand on my shoulder, and then turned to head towards his study.

Before I went to check on Bella, I thought I would see what my brothers were doing. I head down to the man-den.

"No! Get out of there. Grab the grenade!" Emmett's voice boomed. I heard Jasper chuckling in delight at his frustration.

"Ah crap! I died!" Emmett yelled as I came to the base of the stairs. Throwing the game controller to the ground.

"Troubles bro?" I asked casually, knowing full well he had been trying to get past this board for days.

"Yes. I can't seem to get that darn grenade so I can get past the steel wall and get the next box of ammo." He replied, shaking his bear-like hands at the screen. I sat down next to Jasper on the couch, letting out a big sigh. Emmett was in one of the armchairs closer to the screen.

After a few minutes of watching Emmett struggle with his game, "We heard about the letter," Jasper said in a soothing voice. I didn't look at him, just nodded, not certain I was ready to talk about it, fearing the hole would fester open again. If this was the same hole that Bella had endured while I was away, I can't believe she had survived. She was so much stronger than me.

"Alice and I had to come to terms with that, well Alice more than me. And certainly not as directly as you did." He said in his always understanding and calming voice.

Emmett sat silent, but I heard his mind racing with the perpetual battle that Rose has been through countless times with not being able to bare children, with not being human. Emmett wasn't bothered either way, but his undying love for his wife meant he had endured her torment many times over the issue.

"Your perspective really changes once you have found your other half. Being with Alice has ignited things in me that I thought died a hundred and fifty years ago on the battlefield. I was inhuman for so long." Jasper said with wistfulness.

I let out another big sigh, attempting to release the building pressure in my long-stilled heart. "I was just so unprepared." I murmured, more to myself. "Every time I think I have this cursed existence figured out, I am taken completely off guard."

"Well, just be reassured that we all understand, to one extent or another. There are so many aspects of this life that are hard to understand and accept, but be certain that at least one of us has been through it." Jasper said while sending out a wave of calm.

"Thanks Jasper. I really appreciate the commiseration." I paused, taking a moment to lighten my mood. "I am going to go find Bella. I am taking her away while everything is going on and I need to start dropping the hints so that she is thoroughly frustrated by the time we leave." I said with a smirk. I have had a place in mind for six months now and I wanted it to be a surprise until the moment we arrived.

With one foot on the stairs, I turned to Emmett, "Don't worry Em, Rose is doing okay with this. I know you fear a setback. Her thoughts are sad, but not nearly as bad as in the past."

"Thanks Edward." He replied, perking up at the divulged insider information.

I hastily made my way up to Alice's room. I heard the girls in there talking about nothing in particular. I walked past the door and headed up to our bedroom, to the closet, where I dug out a shopping bag I had buried there months ago. This would be my first hint to Bella. I made my way back down a flight to Alice's room and knocked.

"Come in Edward." Alice replied. As I entered I heard, _I see what you have there and I think it is an excellent idea._ Her eyes were bright with anticipation. I nodded my head ever so slightly and turned towards Bella on the bed next to Rosalie.

"Bella I have something for you. It is the first hint for where I am whisking you away to." I said with her favorite crooked grin. I held the bag out to her having not taken the time to wrap it properly. I thought I would have more time to plan this all out.

I deposited myself next to Alice on the couch opposite of Bella. I was eager to see her response. Part of me knew she might not like the gift, but once she found out where we were going, she would be ecstatic.

_You do realize Edward that she may not be entirely happy with this gift. She still doesn't realize what a killer body she has. _Alice silently voiced to me while still watching Bella. I again replied with a very slight nod, one that only she would notice. Alice then let me see a vision of Bella in my present and I nearly jumped from the couch and dragged my wife upstairs. It took all my strength to subdue a big, silly smile, which would surely give my eagerness away.

"What are you two talking about?" Bella said suspiciously, her eyes narrowing as she looked from me to Alice then back to me.

"We didn't say anything Bella." Alice replied with an innocent expression.

"Yeah sure you didn't. I didn't join this family yesterday. I know when you are "mind" talking to one another. Quit it out. It's rude!" She said half seriously but fighting a grin. Our family members definitely got annoyed at times with Alice and my unorthodox communication methods.

"Just open the bag Bella." Rosalie said exasperated.

"Okay, okay." She said while reaching into the bag and pulling out a small wad of sapphire blue fabric. There were blue strings dangling down as she moved her hands around trying to get a better understand of what she was holding.

She looked up at me incredulously. I attempted to keep the smirk from my face and block out the recent vision that Alice had granted me.

With her delicate fingers, she held up the fabric, showing the two small triangles of the top. Slight confusion and disbelief was written on her face.

"Is this _supposed_to be a bathing suit?" She said with skepticism. "Where the heck are we going that it would be okay if I wore this in public."

"First of all, who said anything about being in public. Secondly, the answers will come in due time love." I replied with a knowing smile.


	19. Chapter 19

Once Bella had accepted that she was not going to be granted more clues as to my surprise trip until I was good and ready, we moved forward with planning the accident that would lead to our human demise. As a family we had decided that Thanksgiving break would be a good time for Bella and I to travel to Forks and Jacksonville to see her parents one last time and the accident would occur shortly after. We had a few weeks until that time.

"Bella!" Alice yelled from the second floor.

Bella and I were in our room after having arrived home from our classes. She was already seated at the desk working on a paper that was due the following week. Given that this was her first time attending college, she was much more studious than me, especially considering we wouldn't even be finishing the semester.

"Yeah Alice. I'll be there in just a minute." Bella responded in a normal volume. There was no need to yell with our acute hearing, but Alice liked being loud.

"What's our pixie-like troublemaker up to now?" I asked while sprawled on my back across our bed. My head turned to stare at my wife.

Bella turned slightly in her seat to look at me, "I don't know," with a dainty shrug of her shoulders. I noticed that her eyes, unusually, didn't connect with mine.

I paused, decided whether I should call her out on it. "Really, you sure about that?" I asked with a suspicious grin.

"Yes Edward. I have no idea what she wants. Now let me finish this so I can go find out. You know how impatient she can be." She said a little snappy while turning back to her work.

"Okay love," attempting to keep my voice nonchalant, but certain there was something going on, "I just find it very interesting that everyone in this house is either blocking their thoughts or thinking about completely random things. Emmett has been singing the new Keith Urban song all morning." I cringed having to listen to him internally sing country.

I heard Alice coming up the stairs to retrieve Bella. "Bella! Come on, we have _stuff_ to do." She said while quickly glancing in my direction.

"Hi Alice." I said with a smile while my mind was attempting to infiltrate hers. "Why are you blocking me?" I said casually.

Her eyes reflected that she registered my inquiry, but was not going to release any information as her face remained smooth and composed. Her mind was now racing with clothing that she had seen online and intended to purchase. It was as if we were side by side storming the mall like a herd of migrating wildebeests.

I let out a little chuckle at her attempted diversion. Did my family _seriously_ think they could keep something from me? I had a century of experience honing my gift. A little blocking and random thoughts weren't going to stop me. Something was going on and I was quickly growing annoyed. "Are you planning on taking Bella shopping again Alice?" I said commenting on her choice of thoughts.

"No, we just went. But I do need to order a bunch of things from the winter lines." She replied, not missing a beat while tapping her foot in impatience. Bella rose from the chair, came over to the side of the bed, and bent down to give me a chaste kiss, or so she thought. I swiftly wove my fingers in her silky tresses and locked my mouth firmly on hers causing her to become unstable on her feet. I felt her start to loose the fight and lean into our connection. I responded by kissing her deeper, letting my tongue sensually explore her mouth.

"Ah, hem," Alice cleared her throat, reminding us of her presence.

She planted her hands on the bed on either side of my head and firmly pushed up. She sighed as she released herself from our connection. I gently exhaled into her mouth as she pulled away. My lips curved up in satisfaction - Bella's head was spinning and I was certain she wasn't thinking clearly. Now I would get my answers.

"Where are you two off to?" I asked offhandedly while rolling onto my stomach to better eye the scheming ladies of my life.

"Err…um" Bella released gutturally. Her eyes slightly glazed over. Alice had lost her patience at my playing, let out a big huff, grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her out of the room.

"Bye love." I called out the door. If I couldn't get my answers from Bella or Alice, I knew just who to turn to. I pulled myself up from the bed and sought out the thoughts of my most vulnerable family member. I quickly located him, now singing some God awful pop song that I didn't recognize. I made my way across the hall to his room and knocked.

"Yeah, come in!" He quickly replied. I entered the room to find Emmett sitting, torso half twisted, one leg on the couch and the other on the floor. His laptop was resting on his oversized thigh. My eyes scanned the room and I noticed a duffle bag sitting on their bed.

"Hey Edward. What's up?"

"Not much. Are you and Rose going somewhere?" Again, keeping my request light and casual. Emmett's eyes swiftly moved from my face, to my left to the bed, and then back. If I were human, it would have been too fast for me to notice, but I was not, and I did.

He quickly recomposed his thoughts. I could tell he had to work very hard to keep me blocked. "No…that was just in the closet…and I was cleaning some things out and haven't put it back." He said shrugging his massive shoulders.

"Ah, okay." I paused, deciding my next plan of attack. "Do you know what the girls are up to? Alice just came to get Bella and they didn't tell me where they were going. I hope that Alice isn't planning on dressing Bella up again. She has a lot of work to do for her classes. I know she isn't finishing the semester, but she still wants to do well while she is taking classes, you know how Bella is." I said while planting myself on the couch next to him. Hopefully my ramblings would distract him enough for a slip.

"No, they aren't primping Bella, they're loading the…" He stopped mid-thought.

I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Ah, sweet success!

"Loading the what Emmett, please go on." I smirked.

"Err, loading the…" He stopped, unable to come up with a convincing lie. My grin only grew at my approaching triumph. He threw his hands over his face pushing his fingers through his ringlet-filled hair, "Ah come on Edward! Can't you just let Bella surprise _you_ for once?" His voice was pleading.

"Surprise me?" My eyebrows rose in shock. That is not at all what I had suspected. I thought I had caught my siblings mid-prank planning. I can't remember my wife ever surprising me. Well I had…but it never included our family and always involved some sort of clothing, or lack there of. My long-stilled heart suddenly warmed at the idea of Bella planning something for me. I let out a big huff of air in defeat.

"_Bella_ is planning something?" I asked, still slightly suspicious that he was using her to cover for someone else. My siblings had stooped pretty low over the last few years to pull one over on one another.

"Yes, Edward. So just stop asking questions. You will find out soon enough." He said while he turned back to his computer but then added, "Oh and don't tell anyone I slipped a little, they'll kill me," with pleading eyes.

I nodded in confirmation. I would do my best to restrain myself from any further fact-finding. I didn't want to ruin her fun. I let myself settle back into the soft leather couch, uncertain what to do next since I hadn't a clue what lay ahead. It was an unusual feeling, I had so rarely been taken off guard in the last few years, other than by Bella's seemingly random thoughts.

Then I remembered I actually wanted to speak with Emmett about something. "Since you are the bear expert, do you think if we have our faked death be an accident involving a bear that would be realistic?"

He paused with his hand hovering over the keyboard. The wheels were churning – I could almost hear the gears grinding. I waited patiently for I knew he wanted to answer me honestly considering the importance of the situation. "Well, it could work. It is certainly reasonable to think that a bear attack would leave no body parts. The problem is that they are hibernating now. So, we would need to show some sort of motivation for it to wake up, like a lot of food. We would really need to piss it off to make the evident realistic, look like there was a good fight." He said with a gleam in his eye. No doubt excited about the idea of aggravating a hibernating bear. I thought on what he said. I still thought it was a feasible route. Everything else, including a car accident, there would be a body left.

"Can you think of any other accident that would work?" I inquired.

"No, I can't. This will work. We will just have to be very thorough with the evidence." He said with confidence.

_Edward! Where are you?_ I reluctantly rose from the couch and opened the bedroom door to enter the hall. I peered over the banister to find the culprit of the mental inquisition flitting around at the base of the stairs.

"Yes, Alice?" I replied with a slight sneer.

"Can you go find Bella please?" She said with a wicked little grin and then danced her way out the front door before I could even reply. I turned on my heel, annoyance starting to overtake me, and headed up to our bedroom. The door was half open and I peered in to see Bella busily packing a bag. I watched her for a moment, caught up in her grace and beauty as she moved around the room, to the closet, where she pulled out a few of my shirts, removed them from the hangers and lovingly folded them on the bed. Flattening and pressing the fabric with her thin fingers. She then went into the bathroom where I heard her rustling through the drawers.

I gently pushed the door open and entered the room, careful to not alert her to my presence. Maybe if I caught her off guard I could finally get some answers. Within a minute she came out of the bathroom, toiletry kit in hand.

"Hi love." I said casually from the edge of the bed. She startled at my voice and then a big grin spread across her glorious face, but she just as quickly, she recomposed her face and continued on her way back to the closet.

"Hi." She responded sweetly with her back to me. I grinned at her attempted slyness.

"You going somewhere?" Again, my voice expressed indifference as I leaned back on my elbows and let my leg drape over the edge of the bed.

"Well, yes, _we_ are going somewhere and we are leaving in ten minutes." She said matter-of-factly.

I had said I would leave it alone, but now that I saw the opportunity to weasel some answers, the competitive spirit in me reneged on my vow. "Where are we going?" I asked while pushing myself up from the bed and sauntering over to her. She didn't respond while she continued selecting clothes from our closet. I noticed she was choosing casual, winter clothes. My black wool sweater and jeans, her cashmere turtleneck in the beautiful periwinkle color that I loved on her.

"You seem to be packing a lot of clothes. How long are we going for?" I said as I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her delicate waist, pulling her hair over to expose her shoulder, and behind her ear, so that I would have full access to her most vulnerable spot. I then bent down and slowly released a cool breath onto her porcelain skin as I buried my lips just below her ear. I felt her shutter in my embrace and my lips pulled up slightly in delight. I continued my oral exploration down her neck to the shallow at her collarbone. She released an involuntary groan and leaned her back into my chest.

Without pulling away from her skin, I murmured, "Where are we going love?" She leaned even further into my stance, and then released a gust of air. I thought - sweet victory would be mine! Then in the same instant that I thought my tried and true seduction tactics had triumphed, she gathered her thoughts with a very slight shake of her head, as if to release the lusty haze that I hoped to envelope her with, and then pulled away from my embrace.

Without looking at me, obviously recomposed, she said in her sweet melodic voice, "Be ready to go in ten minutes." I was stunned! I felt my shoulders slump as I gave into the reality that I was not going to break anyone in this family to find out the truth of our destination. In reality, the idea of being surprised made me a little giddy, but I did not concede easily to my family thinking they could pull one over on me.

I slowly made my way down the stairs to the living room. No one else was in the house. I dropped myself dramatically into one of the armchairs surrounding the fireplace, feeling the air swoosh out from the weight of my body and attempted my hand at patience, never one of my strong suits. As I sat there I wracked my brain for any clues as to where we could be going. I searched through every conversation that Bella and I had recently and came up empty handed. Within just a few minutes I was rewarded for my patience as I heard my wife making her way downstairs. I pushed myself up from the chair and sauntered over to the stairs to meet her as she descended, taking the bag from her hands in the process.

"Thanks." She said while rewarding me with her warm, brilliant smile then reaching up and kissing my cheek as we made our way out the front door to where the rest of our family was convened.

All six of my family members' thoughts were racing with random ideas as they loaded into Emmett's Escalade. I smirked at their planned deviousness. Once we were all in the truck, Carlisle at the wheel, I piped up from the back, "So, to what do I owe this pleasure? My entire family taking a trip together hasn't happened in a long time"

Esme was the first to answer, "Your wife planned it. She thought it would be good for all of us to spend some time together before all of the big plans unfold," with her motherly, loving voice. Turning around in the passenger seat to look back at Bella who now had her head bowed as examined her hands resting in her lap.

"She asked all of us what we thought you would like to do for fun." Jasper added.

"Yeah, Bella planned all of this. We just had to work at blocking you." Emmett chipped in.

"Well, I had some help from Alice of course." Bella responded shyly. I reached through the short distance between us and placed my index finger under her chin to lift her golden orbs to meet my loving gaze. My eyes held hers for a long moment.

"Don't you want to know where we are going?" She asked softly. I shook my head, letting my forever-mussed tresses flop all over. "No, I don't."


	20. Chapter 20

"Are we there yet?" I quipped from the back of the truck. We had only been driving an hour, and I wasn't at all impatient, but I thought it was an appropriate comment given the present company. Bella let out a little laugh at my childishness as she ran a hand through my hair.

"Do you want a hint?" She whispered softly in my ear. It was killing her that I had completely dropped the interrogation as to our intended location.

I shook my head as it rested on the back of the seat, and then let it roll to the side to connect our eyes. Her golden eyes sparkled in the flickering light that came through the window, as the Adirondack forest past beside us. The sun was low on the horizon even though it was now mid-morning, just filtering through the thin, barren trees that lined up like soldiers on the side of the road. At that moment, my own amber eyes taking in hers, I felt so utterly loved and understood. It meant more to me that I could put into words that she had taken the time to plan a family trip and the fact that she kept it a surprise from me for who knows how long, made it all that more special.

"I love you Bella." I murmured to her as I leaned over to kiss her cheek. I felt her face tilt down next to me as her gaze fell to our hands entwined in her lap.

"I love you too Edward, more than you could ever know." She quietly answered back. I honestly didn't care where we were going – as long as she was by my side. Not a moment later, I heard a high-pitched squeal from the seat in front of us.

"We're here! We're here!" Alice clapped. I turned in my seat to see a building, typical Adirondack style with a square simple shape, cedar siding and a green metal roof, with a carved wooden sign on the side reading Adirondack Whitewater Rafting Outfitters. I quickly turned back to Bella. She wore a glorious grin on her face as she read the excitement on mine.

"Are we really going whitewater rafting?" I asked with a bit of disbelief. It was always something that I wanted to try, but never made the time to do. I certainly didn't think it was something that Bella would be interested in experiencing, or convince Rose and Alice to do. She nodded her head in excitement as we made out way out of the truck.

"Alice, it is pretty sunny out right now, do you see the weather changing soon?" I asked, knowing full well we couldn't all be out, even covered up, with such direct sun light.

"Yes, by the time we go in and register and get instructions from the guide, it will be completely overcast." Alice answered with her undeniable confidence.

With that, we all walked into the one-room building in front of us that appeared to pose as both a store and educational center. Bella walked up to the young man perched at the counter. He was studying a mountain climbing magazine and slowly drew his gaze up to meet hers. His eyes instantly grew wide as he took in the sight of my beautiful wife, who stood there patiently while he worked through his lusty thoughts. Since her change, she had always been empathetic to humans' reactions to the sight of us, having experienced it first hand. She may have patients, but in the twenty seconds since he had seen her, he was already undressing her and was thinking of actions only _I_ was allowed to perform on her.

I quickly walked up to the counter and put a stop to the young man's sexual ranting. "We are the Cullen party." I said while draping an arm around Bella's shoulders. He immediately glanced down to her hand and noticed her wedding ring.

_Good call Edward. That boy was ready to jump your wife_. Jasper commented from behind me while he inspected some of the rafting gear for sale. Alice was trying to figure out which life jacket would look cutest on her. Rosalie was annoyed she had to wear one at all since it didn't match her outfit.

"Right," he replied slightly shaking his head to clear it, "the part of eight, right?" I nodded in confirmation.

"Okay, let me got get Jim, who will be your guide and we can get started." He said and then walked down the length of the counter and disappeared through a doorway at the end of the room. Within a minute the clerk and a well built, middle-aged man, who I could only assume was Jim, walked out into the showroom.

"Hi folks. I'm Jim." The man said while looking around at all of us.

"Hi Jim, I'm Bella Cullen. We spoke on the phone a few weeks ago." She said while holding out her hand to shake his. A few weeks ago? My family had been keeping this outing a secret for that long. I didn't think that was possible. I wasn't sure whether I was impressed or horrified. I had always assumed I knew everything that was going on in the inner-workings of the Cullen clan. Apparently I was sorely mistaken.

_Don't worry Edward. We planned this a few weeks ago, but then agreed to not talk or think about it so that we didn't slip up around you. _Alice thoughts said to me, obviously seeing me asking Bella about it.

Jim continued, "I'm the co-owner along with my brother. I am going to be your guide today. Brian here," he said while holding a hand up to the clerk, "will get all of you fitted for gear. We will go through a few different training and safety points and then we will be on our way. Given the size of the party I think it would work best to break you into two groups of four if that is okay with everyone. That way we can be in smaller rafts that are more maneuverable." He asked while scanning our faces. We all nodded in excitement.

"Jim, given that it isn't the rainy season like in the spring, what are the rapids like right now?" Emmett asked eager to see some higher-class waters.

"Well, you are right…" he paused, waiting for Emmett to say his name.

"Emmett and this is my wife Rosalie" He smirked while pulling Rose over to him. She feigned a smile in response. She was being a very good sport considering the events that lay ahead.

"Well, Emmett, you are right. The spring is traditionally our busiest time and when the rapids are the highest. But, we have had quite a bit of rain this fall, along with that snow last week that has since melted, and they are fairly active right now. I think we will have a pretty good ride today. Hope you're up for it." Jim said with a hearty chuckle. Emmett responded by nodding his head in affirmation and rubbing his hands together – as if he were a kid in a candy store.

During the next thirty minutes we were all fitted for dry suits, considering is was just above freezing, technically we should need the protection from the cold, life preservers and helmets. We then watched a short video on rafting safety and what to do if someone goes overboard.

_I bet you can't get Jasper overboard Edward_. Emmett challenged to me. As tempting as that bet would be to accept, I had no doubt I would win, I did not want to take the chance in disrupting the day. Plus, if we were human, I am certain is would be a very bad thing if we went in the water. If Jasper got thrown in, it would be difficult to contain our laughter knowing he could never come to harm from mere water.

"Okay, judging by everyone's sizes, to make the boats even in weight, I going to put Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and I in one boat. Edward, Bella, Rosalie and Emmett in the second. Given the time of year and the temperature, we should have the water to ourselves today." Jim commented as he headed out the back door of the store and down the path to the river's edge.

Bella grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Are you excited?" she asked with a sweet grin. I leaned over and quickly kissed her cheek. "Very! This is such a great idea. Thank you love." I responded.

"Well, I know you guys like roller coasters, but I still don't think I could stomach them. And I wanted to go skiing, but none of the resorts open until December 1st. So, I thought this seemed like a good compromise. I glad there has been some rain so Emmett can have his fun." She grinned up at the back of her brother's head.

"You really are too good for this family." I whispered in her ear as we all came to stand on the edge of the water. I felt her cheek pull up in a familiar shy smile against mine.

_Quit it you two. Can't you see this is serious business? We are supposed to be worried about how not to drown today._ Alice jokingly chastised. I turned around and gave her a knowing smirk.

We all loaded into our respective rafts, with Jim's boat in the lead. Alice was right. It was completely overcast with a threat of rain at this point. Perfect weather. Bella and Rosalie were in the front on either side with Emmett and me in the back.

"Okay, we are going to push off and stay close to shore for a little, until everyone gets comfortable with the paddles." Jim said in a raised voice from the boat in front of us.

"Remember, if at any time you are uncomfortable with the speed, tell your boat-mates and we will direct the rafts closer to shore where it is calmer. If you feel like you are getting bounced around too much, you can sit closer to the center on the floor." He finished while turning around and pushing off.

The rafts were quickly picked up by the current and traveled down the river without any assistance. I watched Bella as she became acquainted with maneuvering her paddle, trying hard to only use human-level strength. After about five minutes of drifting along, the rapids picked up considerable and we were getting bounced all around. At one point a big wave crashed over Jasper's side of their boat and soaked him to the core. He turned around to smirk at us, his hair all plastered to his forehead.

"Ha! Look at Jasper's lovely locks." Emmett chortled just as a big gush of water came over his side of the raft. "Ah crap!" He yelled. Rose was highly amused at her husband's misfortune.

"That will teach you Em." She yelled over her shoulder. "Ah, who am I kidding? No it won't" She finished with a grin before she turned back around.

I looked forward at the other boat. Alice had given up and was now sitting in the center. She turned around and smirked at me. _I'm too little, I was getting thrown all over the place – and I am _not_ going in the water._

"Up ahead about two-hundred yards the rapids are going to pick up a bit. Remember to dig your paddles in deep to keep control." Jim hollered from his front position in the boat. "You guys are doing great!" He added.

We spent the next two hours on the water, paddling, laughing and getting generally soaked. It was one of the best family activities we had ever done, and all thanks to my Bella. We paddled the boats to the dock and Jim pulled them up on shore. We walked up the path to see Brian waiting with a van to take us back to the shop.

Jasper came up and put an arm around Bella shoulder, "Thanks for planning all of this Bella. It was well worth the weeks of blocking Edward," He turned around to smirk at me then he planted a kiss on her cheek.

As I said jokingly, "Go kiss your own wife Jasper," Alice came running up behind me and jumped on my back. "Yes this was definitely worth reciting Webster's Dictionary." She laughed kissing my cheek then dismounted and scurried past Jasper, grabbing his hand in the process, pulling his arm off of Bella.

"Is that what you were doing?" I asked with surprise. I had heard snippets of her thoughts, but since they were so random, I would quickly block them out. I should have known better than to assume they were innocent. But at the same time, I am very glad I didn't catch on. This was one of the few times in my long existence I was truly surprised.

We all loaded into the vans and drove at a very slow, but humans' pace, back to the shop. We changed back into our clothes, thanked Jim and Brian and headed for our cars. It was late afternoon by now. "Where to now?" I inquired to Bella.

She gave me a smirk as we got into our vehicle. "You'll see Edward," placing her delicate hand on my cheek, "patience." I rolled my eyes at her. She knew patience was not one of my strong suits. We drove for another twenty minutes then pulled up to a large cottage style hotel with white siding and dark green shutters. I saw as we came into the valet area that there were several buildings all of the same style, but off to the back of the property there was a sizable house with a stone façade.

We walked into the lobby. It had a high peaked ceiling and dark wood on every surface. Bella approached the front desk. "Hi, we have a reservation under Cullen for two nights for the Colonial House." I put my arm around her waist as we waited for the clerk to look up her reservations.

"Yes. We have you here. And you have a tee time and appointments at the spa tomorrow morning at nine, is that correct?" The young woman inquired as she looked up from her computer, stealing a brief glance at me, and then settling back on Bella.

_The Colonial House, they must have some good money. And look at how attractive all of the men are, lucky girls._

"That's right." Bella responded.

"Will be you be dining with us this evening?" She asked.

Bella shook her head, holding back a smirk, "No, we are all set for dinner, thank you." The clerk returned to her computer to complete the check-in. I took a moment to look around the lobby and into the lounge. I was certain this was a structure that had been renovated, possibly from the 1920's. It certainly had Adirondack charm but with an understated elegance.

"Alright Mrs. Cullen. Here are four keys to the Colonial House. Brad the bellhop will take your luggage over to the house and show you around. We will see the ladies tomorrow at the spa, please arrive fifteen minutes early for your appointment and the gentlemen can report to the golf course at nine. Please let us know if you have any questions about the facility and enjoy your stay." She finished.

"Thank you." Bella replied while turning to me. The rest of the family was wandering through the lobby and lounge area.

In barely above a whisper, "Come on, we are going to our rooms." I said. My family members all looked up and followed Bella and I, who followed Brad, out the front door to the left on the path to our accommodations.

"Do we have this whole house to ourselves?" I asked Bella.

"Yes, there are four suites and a main living area. And the best part is that there is a big hot tub on the back deck overlooking the lake." She practically squealed with delight as she pulled me towards the stone house. We entered the house and Brad put our bags in each of our rooms and briefly showed us around the house. All eight of us were milling around checking out the accommodations.

"How did you find this place Bella?" Inquired Rose.

"Someone from school recommended it. She said it was rated as one of the top ten romantic lodges in the country."

With that comment, I quickly eyed the hot tub and pulled Bella out to the large back deck. The sun was just starting to set and although it wasn't sunny, the clouds were beginning to break on the horizon, just above the tops of the mountains. There was a pink glow cast through onto the lake. It was magnificent. I closed the sliding glass door behind us.

I pulled Bella to me, my arms around her waist, hands locked at the small of her back. Her arms were around my neck, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" I said.

She didn't say anything in response, just shook her head shyly as she looked down. I unclasped my hands and placed a finger under her chin, drawing it up to meet my gaze. "You are. You are the most amazing creature I have ever known and still to this day I can't believe I am lucky enough to be loved by you." I whispered to her, holding her gaze with my own smoldering amber eyes.

She shook her head ever so slightly again, but didn't look away, "No, you have that backwards. It is me that is lucky." She paused for just a moment. "Without your love, I don't know where I would be now, still some boring human." She grimaced. "I would never have experienced the all-consuming and fulfilling love and passion that I have with you. Loving you, Edward, is easier than you think. It was as if I was made to do it. It comes as natural to me as breathing." We both let out a little chuckle at the irony. "And I am so happy that I could finally do something for you, because you have done more for me than I can ever put into words."

I didn't know what to say in response. The depths of her love for me never ceased to amaze me. How could I have ever doubted, all those years ago, that she wasn't capable of loving me to the level that I loved her. And at the time, that level was nothing compared to how I feel now that she was my wife, my equal, the very air that I so unnecessarily breathe.

For lack of words, I let my touch portray my thoughts. My hand lingered along her chin them moved along her jaw to her ear, pushing her hair back behind her shoulder, pulling her closer to me as her eyes seductively slid closed. My other hand came up to caress her porcelain cheek as I pressed my lips to hers. She readily granted me access as I let my lips and tongue explore hers, dancing in a slow, rhythmic pulse. The feel of her sweet lips on mine sent a warm tingle right down to my toes. Her hands dropped down my shoulders and arms to my waist, firmly gripped my sweater, pulling us even closer together, blurring our physical boundaries into one. I felt as though I couldn't taste, smell, enjoy her enough. My hand reached up to gently run my fingers through her hair. The physical and emotional connection exchanged in that one kiss was the same as if I had ripped her clothes off and had my way with her right there on the deck.

When we finally released from our tantalizing dance, we were breathless. Her gaze on me was dark with desire. I wanted the world to disappear for the moment so I could selfishly relish in every inch of her, breath her in and let the love that she emanated warm my long-cold core.

_Edward, we are going back to the lounge for a while. Come over when you two are ready._ Carlisle said in his thoughts. Bella and I stood there embracing each other for several more minutes; the pink glow on the horizon finally surrendering to the mountain's peaks.

She took in a deep breath as she buried her face in my chest. "I guess we should go join everyone else." She said reluctantly.

I chuckled, "I suppose so considering this is suppose to be a 'family vacation'. Only a few more weeks and I will have you all to myself." We both smiled at the idea.

We made our way over to the main lodge and into the bar area. There was just a small group of humans enjoying drinks. Our family was off to the left at two small bar tables with high chairs. I quickly took stock walked over to them and realized that someone was missing.

"Where's Alice?" My brow knit with concern. Jasper simply raised his hand at the stage located at the back of the lounge. Alice was up there, flipping through a three-ringed binder, with a microphone in her hand.

"Please tell me that is not karaoke?" I groaned.

"Yup it is Edward and you and Bella are up next." Emmett exclaimed. Bella began shaking her head profusely while squeezing my hand tight.

"I'm not going up there Edward." She whispered to me as we took a seat. I just smiled and nodded. Even with Bella's enhanced abilities and general improvement in her self-confidence since her change, karaoke would be pushing her a bit.

For the next hour and a half we listened to Emmett, Rose, Alice and even Esme belt out seventies and eighties tunes with no shame. Alice and Rose did a duet of I've Got You Babe. By the end of the evening my stomach muscles hurt from laughing so hard at my family's antics.

The next day we left our rooms at quarter to eight, up the path to the main lodge. Bella had scheduled a tee time for Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle and I on the golf course. It again was a perfect overcast day in the low forties. Rosalie, Alice, Esme and Bella left us in the lobby to go to their spa appointments. As much as massages were appealing, the masseuse might break their fingers trying to knead their rock-like skin. And given our perfect complexions, facials were unnecessary as well. Therefore the ladies settled on pedicures and manicures.

Carlisle and I were in one golf cart and Emmett and Jasper were in front of us in the other. I was still slightly overwhelmed by all that Bella had done for our family and me.

Carlisle must have sensed my somber mood. "You okay son?"

I let out a sigh before I responded. "Yes, more than okay, but I feel a little overwhelmed by all that Bella did for me."

"She loves you very much Edward. You have surprised her many times over the years, she wanted to do something for you in return." He said while we drove along the course to the first hole.

There was a moment of silence while I pondered my thoughts. "I feel sometimes, even after all of these years with her…" I struggled slightly to put into words the all-consuming love I felt for her and how I couldn't comprehend that it kept growing, maturing. But Carlisle must have been the mind reader that day.

"You can't believe that every day you love her more." He said with certainty. I nodded my head in affirmation as I looked out over the greenery.

"Sometimes the intensity of it consumes me to the point where all I can do is just be around her, nothing else, I feel pitiful. It's not like we are newlyweds any more. Does it ever stop being this way?"

"For your mother and I, no, it hasn't ever stopped. And the dull ache that you feel when you are separated doesn't subside either – though I have to admit I have grown to like that in a strange way. It's like a physical representation of my connection to her." He paused for a brief moment before continuing, a small smile played on his face. "I loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her when she was a teenager laying in a hospital bed with a broken leg. After I changed her and she grew to reciprocate my love," he took in a swift breath, "well that is all I had ever dreamed of.

"Edward, you know I have never regretted changing any of you, not for one moment, even if our darkest hours. You have been a wonderful companion and son. But Esme, your mother, she is the only reason I have existed for as long as I have. For the over two hundred years before she came into my life, I was content, but not complete by any means. Since we have been together, I have experiences joy that no other being, human or vampire could ever dream of. I know you have found the same thing in Bella. And although our kind loves with an undying passion for their mate like no human could, Bella was different even before her change – her change has just intensified it. She is capable of love like no one I have ever seen other than Esme. And all of that is for you." I bowed my head, examining my hands while he spoke of the undeniable truth. Once again feeling unworthy.

"To have someone love you the way that Bella does, it _can_ feel…overwhelming at times, like an enormous responsibility. I know. I have felt the same. But, Bella was made for you just as your mother was made for me. Loving your mother has been my greatest accomplishment, it is as natural as breathing." I let out chuckle at his wording.

"That is exactly what she told me last night. That loving me was as natural as breathing." I smiled at the memory.

"She's right. You have come a long way over the years Edward, both of you. Now you just need to get through this one last hurdle together and you will have some time alone."

"I am really looking forward to taking her away for awhile. We haven't been separated from the family for more than a few days in three years." I grinned at the image that Alice placed in my head of Bella in the blue string bikini. Yes, I truly was lucky.


	21. Chapter 21

As I entered our bedroom, I heard the shower turn on. I went to the bed, finished packing my clothes in my bag and then went into the bathroom. Bella was humming to herself and apparently did not hear my arrival. I watched her for a moment, in all of her beautiful glory, as she shampooed her hair - jealous of the very water that caressed her womanly form. Without haste, I shed my clothes and joined her.

She let out a little yelp as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. "Edward you startled me." She murmured as she ran her fingers through her tresses to ensure all of the soap was removed.

"Sorry love - didn't mean to - but couldn't allow you to enjoy this shower all on your own." I couldn't possibly see her wet and naked in our shower and not join her, she should know that by now. Plus, we had found the shower was the only place to have a private conversation in a house full of vampire ears.

She chuckled, "How very thoughtful of you," turning herself in my arms and throwing her arms around my neck. The water was beating on my back, warming my ever-frigid skin.

"Are you ready?" I inquired as I raised my hand to push the wet hair off of her forehead and then let it run the length of it to the middle of her back.

"I suppose as much as I will ever be. Part of me is excited, and part of me just wants to get this trip over with." She responded while putting her head against my chest as I tightened my hold on her, slowly running my hand up and down her back to soothe her.

"By this time tomorrow we will be in Forks." She let out let out a big sigh in response. "Everything is going to be fine, Alice assured us. Renee and Charlie won't suspect a thing. And when it is all over, I get to whisk you away." I felt her cheeks pull up again my chest, knowing she felt better.

"I feel bad for not being entirely excited to see them. I just want everything to go well so that I can leave them on a good note – so they aren't in more pain than they have to be."

The next morning we gathered our bags, got in the car and headed for the airport. The closest major one was a one-hour drive into Vermont. From there we took a flight to Newark, NJ and then to Seattle. Given the time change, we would be arriving in Forks in late afternoon. We were spending one night with Charlie and then from there heading to Jacksonville to see Renee and Phil. We were able to justify to her parents the short duration of out visits because we were packing them all into the few days that we had off from classes for Thanksgiving.

We parked the X5 in the airport-parking garage. I went around to the back to retrieve our bags and we made our way to the check in counter.

I handed the woman behind the counter our ticket information and identification.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen?" She said as she glanced up from her computer. "Yes," I responded.

"Are you heading to the west coast on your honeymoon?" She politely inquired as she typed information into her computer.

Bella answered, "No, we have been married for three years. We are going to visit family," smiling up at me.

_My goodness they got married young - must have been high school sweethearts. _I smiled at the woman's thoughts – that was one way of looking at it, even if it was my seventh time attending high school.

I sensed Bella's excitement and anxiety as she tightened her grip on my hand. It had been over three years since she had seen either of her parents, and a lot had changed, not just her becoming an immortal. She was a woman now, in every sense of the word, even if her looks did not reflect the years in which she had matured.

An hour later we boarded the plan, settling ourselves in our first class seats. My ever frugal wife attempted to talk me into sitting in coach, but I would not hear of it, especially considering how much time we were going to spend sitting on a plane over the next few days. Bella was firmly gripping my hand and staring out of the window as the stewardess came around to offer us beverages before take off.

"No, thank you. We are all set. We won't need a snack either." I replied politely to the woman.

I realized that it had been quite a while since I had been on a plane, the last time being our trip back from Italy. A cold shutter went down my spine at the memory, not knowing at that point if Bella could ever love me again.

"Are you remembering the last time we were on a plane?" She whispered gravely. Her eyes portraying that she was as well. I nodded in affirmation then pushed the dark memory away. There was no need for them.

"I thought I was the mind reader." I replied with a grin that I hoped touched my eyes.

I must have been successful because she smiled in response.

We arrived in Newark less than an hour later and had only a thirty-minute layover. Bella purchased a book for the longer leg of the trip. We boarded the plane and settled in. The aircraft was full to the brim with passengers.

I glanced over at Bella to gauge her comfort level with the constantly re-circulating air tainted with human heat and blood. She was perfectly at ease, her small hand in mine, her book on her lap, as she gazed out the window while we took off. The urban sprawl quickly disappearing underneath us as we gained altitude.

After a few minutes, a stewardess came walking quickly up the aisle from the back of the plane and into the front galley. In her wake she left a gust of air. When I caught the scent, it smelled lovely, like jasmine and lavender. In the same instant of my casual realization, Bella's hand tightened around mine and I felt her body stiffen next to me.

I turned to her. Her head was firmly pressed against the headrest, her eyes were squeezed closed and the muscles and tendons in her neck were strained.

"Bella, what is it? What's the matter?" I asked with a low, frantic, voice. I heard the ding of the seatbelt sign going off as the plane leveled off.

"The captain has turned off the seatbelt sign, please feel free to move about the cabin, but we ask when you are seated that your seatbelt is secured. Flight attendants will be around shortly to serve drinks and snacks." I heard over the loud speaker.

With almost inhuman speed, Bella had her seat belt off, climbed over my lap and headed to the back of the plane. I sensed she must have been going to the bathroom, which was odd - there was a bathroom just a few paces from us at the front of the plane. I quickly followed her, but did not want to raise too much attention as I walked the length, making it to the bathroom just as she was closing the door and locking it.

I put my hand on the bathroom door, my lips close as well, "Bella, are you okay? What is the matter?" I waited a moment but no answer from within. I sensed the flight attendant behind me in the galley growing concerned.

_God I hope we don't have another sicky! I don't think I could bear to clean up two puke piles in one day. I'm glad she made it to the bathroom. Don't these people think to take motion sickness medicine?_

I blocked out the woman's thoughts and turned my attention back to the door. "Bella!" I whispered with urgency in my voice. "_Please_ talk to me." I felt myself getting desperate as the minutes ticketed by and still no response from the other side of the small, bi-folding door.

"Sir, why don't you take your seat? I am sure your wife will come out when she is feeling better." The flight attendant said to my back.

I turned to her, fighting back the fury that I felt rising up in me. I was not going to leave Bella until I knew what they hell was going on. I swallowed hard and attempted to compose my features as I turned to the woman.

"My wife has a medical condition and I may need to administer her medication. I would prefer to stay with her if that is okay?" My voice was smooth as silk, but I sensed my eyes were dark with menace as the woman shirked back slightly from me.

After a moment she register the seriousness of my tone, she replied, "Certainly sir. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to assist you."

"Thank you." I said as I turned my attention back to the door. The woman made her way up the aisle with the beverage cart. I looked over my shoulder, ensuring no one else was in close proximity. "Bella, if you don't open this door right now, I am going to force it open." I waited a minute for a response and had my hand on the latch to force it, when I felt it slide over under my fingertips.

I quickly slide my form inside the small bathroom, barely having enough room to close the door. As I turned around, Bella was crouched on the toilet with her legs pulled up to her chest, holding them tightly with her arms. I noticed her hair was in disarray as her eyes were cast to the floor, not acknowledging my presence. I saw to my right that there were fingerprint shaped dents in the small stainless-steel sink.

"Love, what is the matter?" I whispered frantically while I put my hands firmly on either side of her face, pulling her gaze to mine. What I saw shocked me. Her once beautiful amber eyes were black as coal and filled with both disbelief and agony. Her jaw was tense as she ground her razor sharp teeth together and she wasn't breathing. Her eyes were locked on mine, but she was in no way looking at me. I _knew_ that look. I had _felt_ that pain.

"Who was it?" I commanded of her. No words escaped her pursed lips; she just shook her head back and forth, her eyes still held a mixed look of shock and fear.

"Bella look at me! You can get through this. It will be okay. I would _never_ let you do anything, harm anyone." I said as I gently shook her shoulders. Her fear-filled gaze was still looking right through me.

There was a knock at the door. "Ma'am is everything okay in there?" the familiar flight attendants voice called through the thin door.

_She has been in there an awful long time…and where is that yummy husband of hers?_

Bella didn't even register the noise. She had completely shut down her senses in the hopes of self-preservation.

I quietly cleared my throat and raised my voice an octave. "Yes, it's fine. I just need a few minutes, thank you." _Okay, but you better not be leaving me with a disgusting mess to clean up. I do not get paid enough for the stuff I have to put up with._ I heard her steps retreat back up the aisle.

I turned my attention back to Bella. She was in the same posture, but now her eyes were held tightly closed, her porcelain brow furrowed in concentration. The plane began to jostle around from turbulence. The captain came over the loud speaker asking everyone to return to his or her seats, we were going through a pocket of rough air.

"Bella, we are going to have to go sit down. They are not going allow us to stay in the lavatory for the rest of the flight." I said softly, trying to mask my panicked concern for her state. I heard the flight attendant coming to the back of the plane again to instruct us to take our seats.

Internally acknowledging she was not going to relent once she got back to us, I reached behind me and pushed the door open, while grabbing Bella's hands and pulling her to her feet. Her eyes opened to look at me with such disbelieving agony. "It's okay love, I've got you." I murmured as I picked her up in my arms and carried her back to our seats. I felt the gaze and thoughts of every passenger on us as Bella clung to me with such force that if I had been human she would have snapped my neck.

I swiftly placed Bella in her seat and fastened her seat belt. As I did her eyes grew wide as she looked over the top of the seat. I followed her vicious stare to the flight attendant in the front galley, one that I recalled smelled particularly floral, similar to Bella's human scent but not quite as sweet.

Bella hands were grasped so tightly on the armrest I feared that she would dislodge them from their seats. "Is that her?" I inquired as I leaned in to her ear. She simply nodded in affirmation, a low growl emanated from deep in her throat, her deadly glare still locked on its target with ever increasing hatred. I had never seen her like this, nor did I ever imagine I would have to.

I turned my head to look for another flight attendant. We had to move seats if there was any way that the woman and the rest of the passengers were going to survive until we landed in Seattle. I spotted one as she came up the aisle. I didn't dare leave Bella's side for fear of what she might do, so I waved my hand and mustered up my best smile.

"Yes sir, is your wife okay?" She said leaning her head towards me.

"Actually would it be possible for us to move to the back of the plane, possibly over the wing where there is less movement in the plane. Whoever is in the seats is welcome to come take our first class ones." I said while smiling and blowing a little of my sweet breath in her face.

The woman's eyes glazed over for a moment. I had almost forgotten how easily a human could be dazzled, especially a female. She blinked back to the present. "Let me go see what I can do. I will be right back." She said and turned on her heel to retreat down the aisle. I saw her approach a young couple that was sitting in the exit row just behind the wing. They looked up the aisle at me with disbelief and I nodded with a smile in return. They rose from their seats and grabbed their carry-ons out of the overhead compartments.

"Love, we are going to change seats." I said softly. Once again she did not acknowledge me. With some force I pulled her hand off of the armrest and held it in mine as I stood up. When I did she looked at me incredulously. I nodded in reassurance and she slowly stood up. I left our bags where they were and we walked down the aisle.

"Thank you for being so accommodating to my wife and me. She has a weak stomach and there was too much movement up there." I said while thumbing to the front of the plane. The young couple looked at us with shock and excitement, thanked us and moved up to first class. I pushed Bella into the row towards the window; thankfully only two of the three seats had been occupied, so there was no one we had to share it with. We sat down and I raised the armrest between us. I buckled her seatbelt and mine and then put my arm around her, drawing her head to my chest, attempting to form a protective cocoon around her. After a few minutes, I felt the tension in her body release slightly, but there was still a low rumbling in her chest.

"Just keep holding your breath love. You are doing great. You'll get through this." I whispered into her hair as I caressed her cheek. Her hand was clenched tightly on my shirt hem. Hours passed with her unmoving and unmovable. The cursed flight attendant only came back to our section of the plane once. I felt Bella tighten her grip on me as the gust of her luscious scent hit, Bella's tiny body shaking in dry sobs beneath me.

I was humming her lullaby while my mind was raced for both concern for Bella's sanity and the safety of the hundreds of passengers. How had this happened? I had asked Alice to check multiple times as to how the flight would go and every time she assured me it would be fine. Something must have changed last minute. Anger rose up in me as I felt helpless to remove Bella from this tortuous situation.

Of all of the times that she had to encounter her _la tua cantante _it had to be while stuck on a big metal tube thirty-thousand feet above the ground – no where to run. My Bella had so much strength and control and now to have to endure this. I barely survived my encounter and I had eighty years of practiced self-control, and I knew the grim outcome of Emmett's. I shuttered to think what would have happened if I hadn't been with her, not that I would have ever let that occur.

The flight attendant had come over a few times to ask if she was okay and I reassured her that she was simply not feeling well and would recover once we had landed. Sadly it was the truth. Finally, I started to feel the plane begin its descent into the Seattle airport. "We are almost there my love." I murmured into her hair. The plane touched down on the runway and jostled a bit. I looked up at the flight attendant and she seemed to understand my silent request to disembark the plane before any of the other passengers.

As we pulled into the gates, I lifted Bella, retrieved our bags and hurried past the flight attendants. Being very familiar with the Seattle airport, I knew of a private lounge we had access to being first class passengers.

"Bella, do you think you can walk?" I asked as I received stares from ever person that we passed by from my wife being protectively cradled in my arms. She nodded her head against my neck. I lowered her to the floor, but kept and arm tight around her and rushed her around the corner to the lounge. I showed the door attendant our tickets. Thankfully the room was practically empty save for a few businessmen. Sitting Bella on the black leather coach, I pulled out my cell phone before I joined her, pulling her again to my side. She hadn't taken a breath in over three hours and I'm certain she was in agony at this point.

"Bella, it is safe to breath now. There are almost no human around." I whispered reassuringly. She raised her head to appraise our surroundings and then looked at me with the most gust-wrenching gaze full of such confusion and pain. She was still clutching my shirt, as she took in a shallow breath, petrified of what might happen. I nodded my head in reassurance as she took in another deeper breath and relaxed her grip a little.

"I'm going to call Alice." I said as I started to get up from our seat.

"No, please don't leave me." She pleaded with her voice and eyes.

"Okay, it's okay. I won't go anywhere." I replied while stroking her hair. I flipped open my cell phone and pressed the on button. Once it was on, ten missed calls and two voicemails popped up on the screen – all were from Alice's phone. I connected to the voicemail.

"Edward." Her voice was frantic. "Don't get on the flight to Seattle! There has been a change in the flight attendants, someone was sick, and the one that replaces her – her blood will be too much for Bella to resist." Her lyrical voice was pained with apprehension. "I'm so sorry I didn't see it before. The decision was made last minute. Call me when you get this." I knew I couldn't blame Alice even though I wanted to. I wanted to blame someone, anyone, for putting my love through that. No one should ever have to endure that level of torture and yet she had – I could so nothing to protect her.

The second voicemail came on. "Edward I know you didn't get my last message and you are on the plane. I am seeing the most horrible visions as Bella changes her mind repeatedly between staying locked in the bathroom and taking the poor woman's life. I saw the two of you slaughtering the whole plane. It was just like Bella's first day at Forks." There was pure agony in Alice's voice. "But then I see you walking off with everyone else. _Please_ call me as soon as you can." Her little voice pleading with me.

The horror struck me as Alice's words sunk to my core. Bella had been deciding whether to take the woman's life, to end her own suffering. My thoughts flew back to that day in Biology and my own unsettling plots to kill ever last human in the room just so I could partake of the sweetness of Bella's blood. The agony ran through me as if I could still feel the blacktop science desk crumbling under my granite fingertips.

Alice picked up before the first ring had registered. "Edward! Oh my God! Are you okay? What happened? I see you guys sitting in a lounge - so I assume Bella somehow resisted – but I can't see what happened." Alice was talking so fast that only my vampire hearing would be able to understand her.

"Calm down Alice. Everyone is fine. Bella is fine." I said while turning to look at her, but her eyes would not meet mine. I saw shame in her downcast gaze – a look I was very familiar with - having seen in it many times in my own reflection. She knew what I knew – that she had been plotting a mass murder in her thoughts. I pulled her closer to me, her body limp under my arm, kissing her head, hoping she understood that I did not blame her. No matter what her thoughts had been, her actions reflected only the most astonishing self-control.

"Edward how did she resist? That woman's blood was as strong for Bella as hers was to you." Disbelief colored my sisters voice.

"Bella was amazingly strong. I am very proud of her." I said as much to Alice as to my wife.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. It must have been a last minute decision. I am sorry you guys had to go through that. I can't imagine how hard it was on her." Alice's voice was soft now. My anger with her had long ago subsided when I received her voicemails.

Only Emmett and I could truly understand what Bella had endured to save that woman's life, the others had never come across someone whose blood sang to them as Bella's did to me.

"Alice it's okay. I know you couldn't have prevented this. I am going to go now."

"Okay Edward. Bye," and with that she disconnected the line. I turned my head slightly and pulled Bella away from my body. Her gaze remained fixed on the floor.

"Bella, love, please talk to me. I know that was dreadful, but you endured and now it is over. Now we can go see Charlie." I said in my most loving and tender voice.

"I'm not going to see Charlie or Renee." She replied with a flat voice.

"I know you are upset, but you were so excited to see you parents. Nothing has changed that."

"No Edward," her voice raised as her eyes met mine. There was fire in them, and not the kind I longed to see, but as if her soul was hardened. "I am not going to see them. I can't trust myself to be around them."

"Bella, it is very improbable that you will ever encounter another human that appeals that much to you ever again. In my eighty years, I have only come across one, you. Everyone but Emmett has never crossed paths with theirs," my voice pleading for her to understand the unlikelihood of it happening again.

"Well that may be true, but we know what happened when Emmett met his and I'm not taking the kind of chance with my parents, or anyone for that matter." She replied with an unfamiliar sternness in her once melodic voice.

"Bella, please," my voice barely a whisper, "how can I get you to understand that your parents are not in any danger? Carlisle and I would never have consented to the visit if we thought there was even a chance you would loose control." She released a big sigh as her shoulders slumped forward. She put her face in her delicate hands as I waited for her response.

After a few minutes, while still holding her gaze at the floor, "Edward, I have never believed in this life, not even when I though I could have killed that child, that I was a monster…until now." Her voice was barely audible even to my acute hearing. I cut her off. "You are _not_ a monster!" I said with certainty.

"I wouldn't have stopped myself this time. I would have killed them all." Her eyes slowly turned up to look at me. The pain and self-loathing that I saw in them felt like a chainsaw tearing through me. It was my job to protect her from these torments – she was the one that finally got _me_ to believe that I wasn't a monster – now _she_ thinks she is one? No matter what my Bella was capable of, she would _never_ be a monster.

I put my arm back around her shoulders and pulled her to my side, kissing the top of her head. Her stone-like body felt so frail under my hands. My stilled-heart felt as though it would tear in half from my inability to fix this, to make it all better, to give her the confidence she so rightly deserved.

"Bella you wouldn't have killed anyone." I said with confidence. "Yes, Alice saw your decisions wavering, but you wouldn't have done it. You would have locked yourself in that bathroom until the plane landed if you had to." I hesitated for a moment, cupping my hand under her chin to draw her eyes up to meet mine. They had finally returned to the warm amber that I so longed to see.

"But…it doesn't matter what could have happened. What matters is what _did_ happen. And what I saw was an incredibly strong and brave woman who fought with everything she had to stay as pure and caring as she truly is. You battled with your inner-demon with strength that I have not seen in someone of our kind, especially at your age. If you and I had first met on a plane, and I had to endure being in a confided space with you for three hours, I would have surely taken yours and every other passengers' life." She said nothing but closed her eyes tight as dry, retching sobs shook her tiny frame.

After several minutes of silence, I kissed the top of her head. "I know what you are feeling right now love, believe me I do. More than anything I want to protect you from the evils of this life…but it has taken me a long time to realize that is not always possible, try as I may." Once again drawing her tormented gaze to mine, "you are stronger than you think and I have _no doubt_ you will be fine with Charlie and Renee."

A thought had just occurred to me that might ease her worry. "Let me call Alice quick, I have an idea." She nodded weakly.

I drew out my cell phone again and hit send. "Edward. How is Bella?"

"She's okay. Upset with herself of course. Alice, can you check the weather in Forks for me tomorrow, I think we may delay our visit to Charlie for a day." I sensed a pause on the other end of the line as Alice searched out a vision.

"That should be fine and I think it is a good idea." She replied with sincerity.

"Thanks," as I disconnected the line.

"Bella, how about we drive to Forks tonight, we will get there before Charlie gets home from work. We can go over to the house and you will be able to tell from is scent, which saturates the house, that you will be fine around him. We'll stay in Port Angeles tonight then visit with him tomorrow. I will call him and tell him our flights got delayed and we are stuck in Newark."

She looked up at me with a conflicted expression. I could tell that she wanted to see him so desperately, but was incredibly unsure of herself. "You think that will work? Me just catching his scent without him being there?" I nodded at her. "Yes, and believe me when I say that Charlie, and Renee for that matter, smell nothing like that flight attendant. I can understand why you were particularly drawn to her." I finished with a slight smile, willing her to see that I didn't doubt her in any way.

As I gazed into the depths of her warm eyes, I saw my argument winning her over. After a few moments of contemplation she nodded her head in agreement, allowing the corners of her full lips to pull up slightly. A wave of relief passed through me and I felt the tension I was holding in my face release as my mouth formed her favorite grin.

"Thank you Edward." She whispered as I placed my other hand on her cheek, drawing her lips to mine, I placed a sweet kiss on her ruby red lips.

"Anything for you love."

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A/N: _Thank you_ to everyone that has read and reviewed Hereafter - it blows me away to see how many hits my little story has gotten. I TRULY appreciate the support. Just a quick note that I am going to be on vacation next week and will not have internet access, therefore will not be updating for a few weeks. Sorry. But, I hope to write a few chapters while I am away...so hopefully when I do update it will be worth the wait. Thanks again! Newfoundlove.


	22. Chapter 22

I pulled the rental car up in front of Charlie's house by four o'clock. He wouldn't be home for another hour. Bella made no move to get out, contemplatively staring out the passenger side window at her old home. The house she had not laid eyes on in nearly three years. Sadly, from the exterior, not much had changed.

I got out of the car and went around to her side, opening the door for her. She still didn't move. I crouched down, between her and the open door so that we were eye level. Holding out a hand to her, "Bella, it's okay. He's not here and won't be for another hour." She looked up at me with apprehension, but succumbed, and allowed me to pull her towards the front door.

As we stepped inside, we were both hit with waves of scents and nostalgia, one not stronger than the other. We had been back here once since her change, right before we moved, and it seemed worlds ago. We seemed worlds different, but for the better. As we walked in, her hand gradually left mine as she moved about the house. I peered into the living room and saw the same couch that she and I had spent many nights cuddled up on during our courtship. Remembering how difficult it had been to pay any attention to whatever movie was on the television, too wrapped up in the woman in my arms, her blood and body calling to me. I guess in reality not that much has changed.

"How do you feel about Charlie's scent?" I asked as I came up to her standing in the kitchen, staring at the faded yellow cupboards. "I don't remember this place as well as I thought I would. I mean, it is certainly familiar, but when I try to recall specific events, it's like there is a dull film over everything, distorting the vision. Is that normal?"

Nodding in reassurance, "it is perfectly normal. Although our minds are like steel traps now, our human memories are still in a sieve of sorts, and time only causes them to move through faster, just as if they still belonged to a human. You will find that as time progresses, there will only be a hand full of human memories that you can recall clearly, most being replaced by those since your change." I saw her eyes get wide in concern at my explanation. "But don't worry - it takes many, many years for that to happen."

"Do you think I will always remember our wedding?" She asked softly. I had once again noticed our wedding photo perched on Charlie's mantel.

I smiled at her as I cupped her face in my hands. "I don't know love. I remember distinct events from my human life. But the only one that is truly clear to me is right before I died and was so ill. I'm not sure the reason for that. I would hope that you would always have the precious moments from your human life, and possibly since the wedding was right before your change you will, but I don't want to say for certain. No one, even Carlisle, is sure how or why we keep certain memories after we move into this life."

"Well, as sad as I would be to not remember every moment of that beautiful day." She said with a twinkle in her eye, "it would give Alice a good reason to plan another one for us," chuckling.

"Don't let her hear you say that or she will bug you for the rest of our existence." I grinned, but then let my features become more serious. "How are you feeling about visiting with Charlie tomorrow?"

She shrugged, "I'm okay now. I see what you mean about his scent being very different. It is somewhat familiar in a way, but so much more potent now. I think I'll be okay, and I know you wouldn't let me do anything I would regret." I kissed the top of her head and led her out the door.

We spent the night in Port Angeles at a bed and breakfast. Forks was such a small town, I didn't want to chance staying there and have someone report back to Charlie that we were in town sooner than we said.

I had arranged a late check out, since we wouldn't be able to see Charlie until he was home from work. We spent the time until then talking about our future, where we wanted to travel, what we would take in school once we started over, and making slow, quiet love, by the light of the fireplace in the room. It was time alone that Bella and I rarely seemed to have these days, to truly indulge our attention on one another. The further I thought about our trip coming up, the more excited I got. I only had a few more details to finalize, one being new passports.

We lay in bed at noon, bare legs wrapped up in the crisp, white hotel sheets. I was lying on my back. She was on her stomach with her arm across my chest and leg over my thigh. I had a strand of her hair twisted loosely, rhythmically, around my index finger. The relaxed state that we were both in made me believe as though we would almost be granted the peacefulness of sleep, almost.

"What are you thinking about Edward? I can nearly hear the gears turning in your head." She whispered as she raised her head slightly.

I turned my head to the side to look at her, my beautiful Bella. "I was thinking about how rarely we are able to do this. It seems like our time together, truly alone, is insufficient lately."

"Agreed, but we're here now." She responded as she rolled over, sat up, exposing her bare chest as she stretched her arms over her head. She gave me a wicked little smile that brought me out of my gaping. I hoped I would never tire of the sight of her beautiful body. I don't see how I could. "I was also thinking about how excited I am for our trip. I just have to get our travel documents in order. Since Isabella and Edward Cullen will be deceased, our passports will no longer be valid."

"So, we are traveling internationally?" She asked with a sly smile as she propped herself up on her arms, leaning her head on her shoulder, her hair cascading down her bare back.

"Yes. And that's all the information you are getting," as I wove an arm over her waist and pulled her to my side. "Have you thought about what you want our new last name to be?" as I kissed her neck.

"Yes. Masen," she responded with certainty.

I popped my head up and looked at her. "Are you sure?" Surprised by her response.

"Yes, why don't you think it's a good idea?" She asked in all seriousness.

"No…I think it would be wonderful to reinstate my family name. I guess I hadn't thought about it. It has been so long since I had thought of myself as a Masen."

"Well you are, even if you are a Cullen now, kind of like your married name." She smiled. "I think it would mean a lot to your parents if we used it. I'm sure they know how happy we are. Besides, it makes more sense than just picking some random name that doesn't mean anything." She said as she twisted in my arms to kiss my bare chest.

I was quiet for a long time, pondering the idea, turning it around in my thoughts. She was right, as usual. It would be good to have a name that meant something and Masen certainly did. A small part of me felt as though I was betraying my family, being what we are now, would it be disrespectful to use their name? But I was even more certain that Bella was right - that my parents were looking down on us and were happy that their son had finally found his other half, even if it took over a hundred years.

I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand; it was three in the afternoon. "Love, we need to get up and get ready to go see Charlie. He said he would be home by five."

We reluctantly rolled off of the bed, showered and got ready. Bella put brown contacts in and some makeup to make her complexion less piqued. She checked out while I pulled the rental car around. We pulled up in front of Charlie's house at five; his police cruiser was in the driveway.

"You ready?" I asked while turning to her. She took in a deep, ragged, unnecessary breath, "as I'll ever be."

I let her walk up to the porch first and knock. I heard Charlie scurrying around inside. I wasn't sure what we were going to have to stomach and regurgitate tonight, but I knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

The door flung open, "Kids! Come on it." Charlie beamed as he waved us inside. He awkwardly waved his arms in front of Bella, deciding whether to hug her or not, she helped him by leaning in and embracing him. "Hi Dad," she smiled as her chin rested on his shoulder.

When he released her, he held out a hand to me, which I shook. "Edward, good to see you," he said nodding. I hadn't expected him to completely disregard his aversion for me, but it certainly seemed as though he had warmed up over the years. His thoughts were racing with his happiness to see his daughter, and even me, again.

"Let me look at you." He said appraising her. "You sure have grown up, married and almost a college graduate. I hope you know how proud I am of you."

"Thanks Dad." She smiled as we walked into the kitchen.

"I hope you guys don't mind, but I made spaghetti. It's about all I can make and not ruin." Spaghetti, that isn't the worst thing to have to cough up, kind of heavy though. Bella shot me a quick glance. Thankfully she had had little experience with eating human food since her change, like I said, unpleasant.

We all sat down and Charlie started probing us about school and New York. I sat back quietly, listening to his thoughts. He couldn't believe how grown up his daughter seemed, not just in her looks, but the way she carried herself. I listened closer to determine if there was any indication I should be concerned, that he suspected something. But after two hours of conversation, the most of Charlie's life I would suspect, his thoughts were still only of love for her and how he missed her dearly.

"Tell me Edward, how many times has she been in the emergency room? I'm sure they all know her by name now." He laughed. Bella scowled and huffed at her father.

"Actually Charlie, she hasn't been at all. I think she has finally outgrown her clumsiness. That and I keep a very close eye on her." I smiled as I squeezed her hand.

"Well, I never thought I'd see that day, but I'm glad for it." He chuckled.

My mind wandered again to acknowledge how I feared that her supposed death would be harder on him than Renee. At least Renee had Phil, Charlie seemed to still be in love with his ex-wife, and to my knowledge hadn't dated anyone since.

"Are you going to stop and see Jacob, Sarah and Mary while you're here?" Charlie asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to Bella to see her reaction. She knew it was unwise to see them, but I wouldn't forbid her if she wanted to.

"We really don't have time Dad. Since our flight was delayed, we have to drive to Seattle tonight to fly out to Jacksonville to see Mom." Bella said calmly. I released a small sigh of relief at her response.

"He would have liked to see you Bells. He sure has grown up too. But, he'll understand. Everyone is so busy these days and I'm still doing the same old thing. Did I tell you that I started fishing with Mike Newton's father? I sure do miss going with Billy." Charlie said sadly shaking his head.

I glanced at my watch. It was eight o'clock already. Bella noticed and took the hint. She wasn't lying when she said we had to drive to Seattle tonight, we were catching the red-eye.

"Dad, I really hate to leave so soon, but we have to get going. Thanks for dinner. I have to admit it was actually edible." She smiled, masking her true thoughts about the food.

"That's okay. There is a game on that I was going to watch anyway." He said while pushing away from the table, looking deflated. His thoughts were pained that we were leaving so soon. "It was great to see you kid. Tell your mother and Phil I said hello." He said pulling her in for a quick hug.

"Edward, you keep taking such good care of my girl. You two seem really happy. A father couldn't ask for more." He voiced a little misty eyed as he shook my hand.

"Thank you sir. I intend to for the rest of my life." I said solemnly as I put my arm around my wife. She smiled up at me, raw emotion in her eyes, if she could have, there would have been tears flowing down her cheeks. This was not just any good bye. This was the last time Bella would see her father and it was hitting her like driving into a brick wall. Her little hand was tightly clenching my shirt at my waist.

She stepped away from me and hugged her father again, "I love you Dad. And I'm sorry for all of the crap I put you through while I lived here. But I really did love living with you." She smiled sadly at him.

"Ah Bells, that's all in the past." He said waving his hand at her. "Don't let it be so long until you visit again." He said opening the door for us.

"We won't sir." I said, because Bella couldn't at that point, she was facing away from him, trying to hide her emotion.

"Take care. Love you kid," with his hand on the door as I led Bella to the car.

"Just a few more feet," I whispered, her hand tightly held in mine. I opened her car door for her, walked around to the driver's side and got in. I pulled away as quickly as I could without squealing the tires. Bella gave her father a little wave. As soon as we were out of sight, her hands were covering her face and her body was shaking with dry sobs.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and rubbed her back. I drove for a few minutes, until we were on the outskirts of Forks, and then pulled the car over. I reached over and lifted her small frame onto my lap, holding her close to me, hoping to force the pain away. She was still shaking, but slowly began to relax into my embrace, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Edward." She whispered against my neck.

"Shh…there is nothing to be sorry for love." I said while stroking her cheek with my thumb, my hand on her neck.

"I knew it would be hard. He was just so happy to see us - he was actually talkative." She chuckled. "What was he thinking?"

I began stroking her hair, "he was thinking about how grown up you seemed, not just in looks, but the way you spoke and carried yourself."

"He didn't suspect anything, did he?" Her voice jumped an octave in apprehension.

"No, he didn't. Overall his thoughts were very happy. He was sad we had to leave so soon. He really misses you and your company." I laughed lightly, "your cooking."

"Oh right, I need to get rid of this stuff in my stomach. It feels like a lead ball." She said putting her hand on her stomach. It made me think of one of the first times she and I had lunch together, after she found out what I was, and she dared me to eat the pizza, which I did, but then had to quickly run to the restroom before Biology to rid myself of it.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked lightly, putting her hand on my cheek.

"When you dared me to eat pizza in the cafeteria." I replied lightly.

"I can't believe you did that."

"It must have been love." I said softly, kissing her on the cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you." She crawled back into her seat. I started the car and drove to Seattle.

The drive was quiet with little traffic. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time. I had changed our reservations so that we were on a different airline, not wanting to chance ever seeing that flight attendant again.

We returned the rental car, went through security and made our way to the gate with some time to spare. We used the restrooms to void ourselves of our spaghetti dinner. Bella was outwardly nervous about flying again.

"It will be okay love. I promise," taking her hand in mine.

"I know. It was just so awful. I don't think I could endure that again." She replied with a furrowed brow.

"I hope you don't ever have to. But now you know you are strong enough." I encouraged gently.

"Only because you were there," shaking her head slightly.

"That may be true, but I don't ever plan to not be there, and now you know what it is like, in case there is a next time."

"Next time I would be better off throwing myself out of the plane." She laughed darkly.

We boarded the plane and just as I had suspected, the flight went smoothly and was only half full. We watched a few movies while the other passengers slept the night away. The flight attendants' thoughts revealed that they couldn't understand why we weren't joining them. If only.

We arrived in Jacksonville by early morning. We couldn't go see Renee and Phil until after sundown, Florida was ridiculously sunny, therefore I checked us into the hotel at the airport. We once again wiled away the hours in each other's arms. It was my only little piece of heaven.

I picked up my phone to call Alice, to have her check that the rest of the evening would go smoothly.

"Hi Edward!' She chirped.

"Hi Alice. How's everything going at home?"

"Fine. Jasper and I have been working on a paper for the English course we are taking. Everyone else went hunting today. How's did it go with Charlie?" concern evident in her voice.

"As if you didn't know," I laughed but continued. "It actually went really well. He was so happy to see her he hardly noticed that we didn't eat or drink much. He did think she looked more mature, but he certainly didn't suspect anything." I said.

"Now you are in a hotel in Jacksonville." She stated, not asked. Alice always knew.

"Yes. What's the weather going to be like later today?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "It will cloud up around four. Everything will go fine with Renee too. Tell Bella I said hi!"

"Thanks I will. Also, we have decided to change our names to Masen after the accident so could Jasper please start on the necessary documents?"

"Sure, not a problem. Have a good rest of your trip." Alice said as she disconnected the line.

Bella sat smiling next to me having heard what Alice said. I saw her body visibly relax- her mind had been preoccupied since we left Forks.

"I'm sorry I didn't call her sooner, love, to put your mind at ease," pulling her closer to me on the bed.

"That's okay Edward, I would have been nervous no matter when you talked with Alice. But, now, I just want to get it over with so we can go home." The last words were in a near whisper, her head hung. Bella's stance betrayed that she felt guilty for not wanting to see her mom more. Renee was much more intuitive than Charlie. I reassured her that Alice saw that everything going fine.

We left the hotel in the afternoon, as it had clouded up, just like Alice said. As a precaution I rented a car with the darkest tint I could get. Bella and pulled up in front of Renee and Phil's house. Even though it wasn't the same house, though similar to the one in Phoenix, it brought back flashes of that wretched day so long ago that James tried to steal the life of my love. I reached over and picked up her hand to see the small crescent shaped scar that still adorned the side of her hand – the only scar that remained after her change – and Bella had a lot of scars as a human. Thank goodness she brought over her power of compassion and not clumsiness, I internally laughed. Bella didn't even notice me taking her hand; she was staring out the window at their house.

"Love, you okay? Remember Alice said it would be fine." I said reassuringly as I brought the back of her hand to my lips, lingering on the scar. She turned her head and gave me a sad smile.

"I know. It's just this time, unlike when we went to Charlie's, it has really hit me what this is, the last good bye, ever," she paused and took in a swift breath of air. I opened my mouth to tell her I was sorry she had to do this, my guilt resurfacing once again. "Edward," holding up her other hand, palm out, "please don't start with your guilt. You know I don't regret our decisions, even so…it doesn't making saying good bye any easier."

I kept her hand in mine and bowed my head. She was right, why did I keep letting my insecurities concerning Bella get the best of me? In all of our years together she had never once given me reason to think she wished her life were different. I certainly didn't.

We walked up to the front door. I once again let Bella lead. Renee flung it open before she could even knock. "Bella! My baby!" pulling her into a tight embrace. I watched Bella carefully for signs of distress. Her body was stiff at first from the sudden closeness of her blood. Within seconds her body relaxed into her mother's embrace and I let out the air I was holding in concern.

After a few moments she released her daughter and reached for me. "Edward, it is good to see you as well," smiling as she hugged me. It had been a long time since I had been in such close proximity to a human. Her mind was racing with partial thoughts about Bella and I. _They both look so good, like adults, though he doesn't really look different. I am going to have a talk with her about visiting more. When are they going to give me some grandbabies - not that there is a hurry, they still have to finish school. Then they will have to come visit more…_

A woman's thoughts were almost always more complex and layered than a man's. Renee led us into the house and motioned for us to take the seats at the kitchen table.

"Now tell me everything about your lives." She smiled at Bella, still holding her hand.

"Bella your hands are freezing." She chided. Bella gently pulled her hand out of hers, placing it on her lap.

"School is going really well. Edward and I are enjoying it very much. I especially like my literature classes that I am taking this semester." Bella continued on telling her mother about our life in New York, the majority of which was true.

"What do you guys do for fun in New York?" Her mother asked.

"Edward and I are going on a camping trip next week. We do a lot of hiking and the whole family just took a white water rafting trip." Bella smiled at the happy memory. It had been a great trip.

"Wow Bella. I never thought of you as an outdoorsy person." Her mom laughed lightly. "You were always too accident prone."

"The Cullens have always enjoyed camping, for family trips, and the area we live in there is so much to do outside." Bella said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Are you getting enough meat to eat? Your complexion is so pale. You aren't anemic again like in high school?" Her mother's brisk change of subject threw Bella. I heard the question coming in her mind. Maybe that's where Bella got her tendency for random thoughts – she was still always surprising me with what came out of her mouth.

Bella stifled a laugh at the irony of her mother's question. "Mom I'm fine. We don't get out in the sun much. New York doesn't have the best weather." Bella tried to smile confidently as she squeezed my hand to let me know she was okay.

We talked with Renee for another few hours. She had insisted that we stay with her instead of a hotel. Around midnight, Bella attempted to look tired with a small yawn. Renee had so many thoughts running through her head that she could have kept talking all night.

"Mom, we really need to get to bed. We have had a rough couple day of traveling and when we get back we jump right back in to school." Bella said pushing herself away from the table.

"Okay, okay," Renee was waving her hands as she led Bella upstairs while I ran out to the car to retrieve our bags.

"Good night." Renee said closing the door behind us. Bella threw herself on the bed and let out a big sigh. "Did she suspect anything?" She asked in a low voice.

I shook my head, "no, she certainly had more thoughts filling her head than Charlie and she was analyzing your appearance more. I think it was wise that you put makeup on or the similarities in our complexion would have been striking. But, no she just thinks you have grown up…which you have." I said sitting down next to her. "We both have." I chuckled at the irony that at over a hundred years old I had finally grown up.

"We have certainly come a long way since our first meeting." She laughed softly as she rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her waist and laid us both down on the bed.

"Edward, do you think we could drive home instead of fly? I don't think I could stand any more time on an airplane." She asked sweetly. I pondered the idea. I didn't see why not since we hadn't planned on returning to classes.

"Sure, if that would make you happy."

We were dressed and ready to leave early the next morning. "Bella, don't you dare let it be so long before you come visit again. Once you graduate you won't have any excuses." Her mother scolded as she pulled her daughter in for a hug. Then her features softened. "I have to say, I was the most against you two getting married so young, for obvious reasons, mostly from my own mistakes. But I see now that you are very different from your father and me." She sniffled a little as she turned to me. "Edward, thank you for making my daughter so happy," grabbing me and hugging me.

"It's my pleasure Renee." I peaked over at Bella to see how she was holding up. Her face was stony, brow furrowed, attempting to keep her emotions under raps.

"Bye mom. I love you." Bella said as she gave her one last hug, then we closed the door behind us. Thankfully it was a slightly overcast day again, but to be cautious, we wore long sleeves and pants.

Once we were in the car and I had pulled away from the curb, "how you holding up love?"

"I'm okay. Sadly, I feel a weight lifted." She said with sorrowful eyes. I took her hand in mine as we headed north towards home.

We drove all day and made it into Virginia. "Do you want to stop for the night or keep going?" I asked.

"I'm fine with driving through the night if you are? I'm ready to be home." I nodded in agreement. We stopped once for gas after the cover of night had come.

I called Alice and let her know of our scheduled arrival, we should be there by early morning. We were now winding our way through the hills of Pennsylvania. Bella was behind the wheel. I finally conceded after she begged during the entire drive through Virginia.

The ride had been quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts, I suppose. "Edward," her soft voice cut through the silence. I turned to my wife. She wore a beautiful, intense smile as she gazed at me. "I love you." She said with conviction, her voice thick with emotion. I was taken off guard by the force of her words, so out of the blue.

I opened my mouth to respond, to return the passion of her thoughts, but the car suddenly jerked to the right. Being consumed in Bella, the love in her eyes, I didn't respond as quickly as I should have – then the car hit the stone wall lining the side of the bridge, "Bella!" I reached for the steering wheel. But it was too late, the car jumped over the wall from the force in which we hit it. We were plummeting over the side of the bridge to the river below.

The vehicle hit the water like a cement wall, throwing us around the cab. Even knocking the wind out of me. Bella was tightly gripping the steering wheel and I was frantically reaching for her. She had an odd calmness to her expression.

Before the car was even submerged I punched out the passenger side window, Bella did the same. The rapids forcefully came through the new opening as they carried the car down the river. I pulled myself through the window. Bella had already crawled through hers.

"Bella!" I screamed frantically. The fear consuming me as the frigid water carried my body, pushing me under and blocking my line of sight, while I swam against it to shore. I pulled myself up onto the land. "Bella!" I cried out again in angst. My long-stilled heart felt as though it were racing in my chest. My common sense was telling me that Bella was fine, she was an indestructible vampire now who didn't need to breath anymore than I did, but my heart told me that my wife might be drowning.

I scanned the surface of the water for any signs of her. "Bella!" I cried again in almost a roar, panic eating away at me. I dove back into the water and crossed the river, slightly having to fight the strong current, pulling myself up on the other side.

"Bella!" I saw a movement along the river's edge a hundred yards up. I ran at vampire speed, a blur, to her side. Collapsing to my knees next to her, forcefully pulling her to me and kissing her all over. "Bella! Are you okay?" I asked breathlessly.

"I'm fine Edward." She chuckled lightly. "I don't need to breath any more than you do."

"Bella, you scared the _shit_ out of me." Normally not using such offensive language, my thoughts were too incoherent to care.

Her facial features became serious, repentant, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to deal with all of the planning involved with faking our deaths by bear attack. This seemed so much easier. There is no way if we were human we could have survived that fall. I thought we would leave some scraps of clothes too, for evidence."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked ardently.

"Because you would have talked me out of it, saying it was too dangerous. Sometimes you still look at me like I am a breakable human – I'm not Edward. I haven't been for a long time." She said sighing and placing her hand on my cheek.

I pushed out a large volume of air in acceptance of her words. "I can't help it love. I spent so long worrying about the next time you were going to get hurt. You know what I would do if I lost you." I leaned into her hand.

"Good thing you won't ever have to go to that extreme." She smiled. "Now let's get home so we can tell everyone we died." She laughed as she stood up and pulled me off of the wet ground. She ripped a section of her shirt and threw it on the edge of the river, I did the same.

"Did you think about _how_ we are going to get home, with no car, and wet cell phones?"

She reached into her purse, which was strapped across her chest, and pulled out a plastic bag with her cell phone. "Ta-da" She cried.

"You really thought this through didn't you?" I asked incredulously.

"Do you think I would just drive us off of a bridge and not think it through?" She scoffed. "I told Alice to expect a call from us, but I didn't tell her why," as she began climbing up the river's embankment.

"You know Emmett is going to be very disappointed that he can't wake up a hibernating bear and piss it off enough to make someone think it killed us," pulling her up the last few feet onto the road.

"I know, and I am very sorry for that. But, I think this way was much better. Plus, no need to prolong it. I've said my good-byes," pulling her phone out of the zip lock bag and dialing her sister-in-law.


	23. Chapter 23

"You really aren't going to tell me anything? What if I didn't pack the right clothes?" Bella complained as she tugged on my hand as it lay across our armrest.

"No worries love. As long as you packed your new bathing suit, you will have enough. Where we are going, let's just say, there's isn't much need for clothes." I smirked as I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Edward Masen!" She cried as if appalled at my assumptions. I just smiled – we were finally going to have some extended time alone together. No family. No humans. None of it - just Bella and I.

The plane touched down after a very long flight - again thankful that we had taken the time to hunt before we left. I wasn't sure what kind of animals we were going to have to consume from. The house had been chaotic with planning our funerals, but like Alice had seen, everything went as well as could be expected up until we departed. Our funerals were being held tomorrow. Charlie and Renee were getting into New York today. Carlisle had the unfortunate job of telling them about the accident. I didn't probe his mind to see how it went. I didn't want to know.

"Did I just hear the flight attendant say 'welcome to Fiji'?" She asked with disbelief colored all over her beautiful face. I didn't speak just grinned at my wife.

We disembarked the plane and I led Bella through another door out onto the tarmac.

"Mr. and Mrs. Masen?" The gentleman who was standing by the steps leading into the helicopter asked in a slight French accent.

I held out my hand to shake his, "I'm Edward and this is my wife Bella."

"My co-pilot is retrieving your bags from the commercial flight and will load them shortly. Please step inside and make yourselves at home. We have about a forty-five minute flight to your final destination." The man stated, held his hand out to motion us up the steps, and then followed us turning into the cockpit.

"Edward! Where are we going?" Bella demanded with a little smile on her lips.

"You will find out in forty-five minutes. You just endured a nineteen hour flight, I think you can wait a few more minutes." I patted the back of her hand in a fatherly way.

The aircraft took off a few minutes later. Bella's eyes were glued out of the window, enthralled in the beauty of the land. It was nearly dusk, therefore hard for a human to see, but not us, she was able to take it all in.

We touched down and I was as filled with excitement and nervousness as I had been on our wedding day. The pilots handed us our luggage, I tipped them heftily, and lead Bella to our accommodations.

"Is this where we are staying Edward?" She said in almost a whisper as we walked up the steps of the big bungalow home set on the edge of the sea. The structure was large and open with one bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and a large deck that practically hung over the water.

I dropped our bags once inside and led Bella out to the deck, "Yes it is love. Our own island for the next three weeks." I was smiling so wide my cheeks hurt.

"Oh Edward, you didn't. This is too much." Her voice attempting a reprimand, but I suspected she was growing as excited as I was. I pulled her to me, placing my hands on either side of her face and kissed her deeply, breathing her in, my knees weak beneath me.

We broke apart, both breathless, "Bella we have been through so much in the last few years. We deserve a vacation together and I didn't want to hide during the day or go someplace with bad weather. I just wanted to spend time with you…only you."

"Well…I guess I can accept those terms. And, for once don't want to know even a little bit of how much all of this cost." She smiled, pushing up on her toes and kissing me sweetly.

"Do you want to go see the rest of the island?" excitement evident in my voice. She nodded eagerly. "Let me just go change quick," as she ran into the bedroom. I was already wearing linen pants and shirt, comfortable enough. She walked out into the living area a moment later in a floral sundress with thin straps adorning her shoulders.

I ran my finger down the side of her neck, to the strap, pushing it to the side a little and placing a kiss where it had laid. "You like? Alice did some shopping for me." She asked softly with her eyes closed.

I simply nodded, with a devilish smile, took her hand and lead her outside. The moon was full and bright and the smell of salt and ocean air filled our senses. We ran deep into the tropical cover, the ground soft and spongy beneath our feet. We ran in silence, matching our breaths, taking in the beauty of the island as it was illuminated by the night.

The wildlife was teeming around us. I spotted a small deer-like animal in the distance and took off after it, easily taking it down. It did not offer quite the satisfaction of the larger animals that lived near us at home, but it would do for now. I saw Bella run off to my left after something. When I approached her she was disposing of the body. I took her hand again and led her to the other side of the island. The only structure on the forty-acre property was the house we were staying in.

We broke through the thick undercover on to the beach. There was a slight rocky ridge that we crossed onto the smooth, white sand, squishing it between our bare feet. The ocean was lapping quietly as the tide was low.

We stopped at the water's edge gazing out onto the vast water. The moon was reflecting off of the water from its low position on the horizon. It felt unearthly, the beauty. "Edward," Bella murmured, "it is all so unbelievable. I can't believe we have this heaven-on-earth to our selves for three weeks. I think you will be sick of me by then." She laughed lightly.

"Not possible love." I responded earnestly. I had waited my entire existence for Bella and every day with her was an unexpected treasure to my heart. I grabbed her other hand in mine and pulled her to me, holding her tight to my chest. We stood still silent for several minutes, the ocean breeze occasionally coming off the water causing her hair to lift off her back amplifying her already heady scent.

Her hand moved from my waist up my torso to the top of my chest, which was exposed, from the top buttons being undone. Her fingers trailed lazily along my collarbone, followed by her lips – causing me to take in a swift gust of air – the fire quickly building in my core.

I bent my head down and met her lips with mine, moving in our familiar, intoxicating rhythm. My hands woven in her hair, her face, up and down her back, I couldn't get enough. I pulled her down with me onto the sand beach, her small frame on top of me. The water licked at our toes.

Her nimble fingers making quick work of my shirt, pushing it down my shoulders and as she explored my chest with her lips – she caused me to moan in delight. I felt her smile against my stomach – she enjoyed my reaction as much as I did.

Our mouths were reunited and continued their dance as I ran my hands down her sides to her smooth thighs, reaching up under her dress, trailing my finger tips along her legs to her waist – now it was her turn to moan – quickly slipping her dress off and rolling her underneath me onto the damp sand.

She reached up and undid the button on my pants. The fire inside of me was more than I could contain. My love for this woman, who lay like an angel, the moonlight reflecting off of her skin giving it a faint glow. Her hair lying all around her on the sand. I kneeled over her and made tantalizing kisses up her midsection, cupping her breasts as I continued up her neck. "Edward, please." She moaned. The urgency and longing in her words caused my thoughts to spin.

I needed her in every possible way, to drink her up, to be one with her, every inch of her – and we were. Our union's rhythm matched by our gasping breathes. I pulled her up to my lap, her legs wrapped around my torso as a waved crashed to shore soaking us – I hardly noticed. I felt as though the heavens were opening up to welcome us, if only for one brief moment of ecstasy, as I felt the familiar but overpowering pull of climax as another wave crashed over our united forms. We stayed silent and still, attempting to catch our gasping breaths, as if they were necessary.

The sand and salt water covering our skin - that is how we spent our weeks. Relishing each other's touch, words and thoughts. I read her poetry in the hammock on the deck, which hung out over the water. We swam, exploring the coral reef off of shore, and caught crabs. We made love every evening, sometimes in between, by the moonlight. If I had ever been uncertain that heaven existed, even for our kind, I was certainly proven wrong during those glorious days with Bella. All the wrong in the world seemed to be right with her in my arms lazily whiling away the time.

It was our second to last day on the island, late in the afternoon, and there was distinct sadness on the air – it was impossible to push away – but I tried my best.

"Do you want to go for a swim?" I asked as I stroked her hair, as we lay entwined in the hammock.

"Sure. Let me go put my suit on." Ah, that wonderful swimsuit. I would never get used to the sight of her in it - it was too striking – every single time taking my breath away. I rose as well and put on my navy trunks. I dug in the back of the dresser and pulled out my other surprise for her, slipping it in my pocket.

We walked hand and hand to the other side of the island that had the best beach. The strong tropical sun hitting our bare skin causing rainbows to reflect all around us. My stomach twisted in nervousness.

"Bella. I have something I want to ask you." I wasn't sure why I was nervous, I knew her answer to my question, but it still sent a wave of anxiety through me.

She nodded her head for me to go on as I took both of her hands in mine, dropping to one knee. She looked at me perplexed, her small brow knitted together. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring, an eternity band of sapphires and held it tucked in my palm.

"Isabella Masen, will you marry me, again? We have triumphed through so much since our first meeting so many years ago. We are equals in every way. You are my everything. My sun and moon, the very air that I breathe." I smiled as I opened my hand to reveal the ring. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand as she looked down at it. Her warm, amber eyes grew wide with surprise. She nodded ever so slightly for me to continue.

"I promise to give you the best of me and not ask of you what you cannot give. I promise to be with you through all of your triumphs and even more during your defeats. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you into my innermost thoughts and dreams, into my deepest fears and feelings." I paused to take in a breath, still on my knee.

"Oh Edward, our wedding vows." She whispered through her covered mouth. Her eyes glistening as if tears could be filling them. I grinned in delight at her reaction as I continued. My heart so full of love for this woman it felt as though my chest could not longer contain it.

"You have become my forever. We have become partners in every way. I have become yours in every way. My every thought is consumed by you, my ever motion draws me to you. May the nights be honey-sweet for us and the days be filled with joy and laughter. Hereafter, I _cannot_ live without you. _Do not_ live without me. To this I pledge my mind, heart and soul Isabella." As I slipped the ring onto her finger, next to her engagement and wedding band, where like the others, it would stay for our eternity.

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_The end. Thank you, thank you to everyone that has stayed with me through this labor of love, which it truly has been for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed being in my Edward's head and have loved to read all of your feedback and support - it truly kept me going. For those that enjoy reading the human/AU stories, I am trying my hand at one and hope to have it posted in the next week or so. Still very much in the works. I hope you will check it out and let me know what you think. I know I was not always the quickest with updating and hope to improve with this next story. Thank you again, you are all wonderful._


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